How best to explain drug addiction? What I give is only - or should I say merely - the anectodally-fuelled offerings of my individual perceptions and my individual analysis of those perceptions. I will inevitably end up presenting my own theories on many things related to my own particular story and I know I am approaching from a handicapped angle. I don't have great academic knowledge of pharmacology, psychiatry or any of the other pertinent fields. I hope they make as much sense in print as they do in my head. So I will begin.
I can actually recall once upon a time living in painful ignorance of the reality of drugs. Looking back I am shocked at how little I knew and how much I took at face value from terrible sources - friends, family, newspapers worst of all. It only takes a moderate interest to uncover the discrepancy between the media smokescreen and the genuine reality. Once I'd developed a significant interest in drugs I was left disgusted with the at times laughable, at times infuriating and entirely false image that was perpetuated not just by overzealous parents and schools, but by pretty much the entire mainstream media and most damagingly by the highest levels of international government, from the UN downwards to the national states of almost every country in the world. The 'War on Drugs' is hopeless moral crusade that is, at its core, unfeasible and unsustainable. I say this because the moral argument - "drugs should be banned because drugs are bad" - is a gross oversimplification and no longer matters. We pride ourselves on undertaking costly moral causes: the patient requiring 20+ operations and endless appointments, prescriptions, meetings, check-ups and everything in-between. The cost can run into millions merely on one individual. Simply in economic terms, resources could be better allocated helping a large number of people in moderate trouble, making incremental improvements to many lives. But that's not how we work. We can turn a blind eye to the most effective solution in favour of the 'right' one. And just as no-one is willing to stand up and say "The cost of treatment for society outweighs your value to them" to a hopeless case, yet all too happy to complain about NHS waiting lists, it's the same with drugs. Governments simply refuse to engage in debate about drugs. I have spoken to many people that, simply as a point of principle, won't engage in a discussion about drugs. That's a whole lot of instantly misplaced votes.
How about some popular myths about drugs and addiction then? Reasons frequently given for not wanting to try drugs "I don't want to lose control of myself/get out of my head" theres a real fear that EVERY drug is a psychedelic; that they all have hallucinogenic properties and cause fantastic visions and crazy 'trips'. That you'll get addicted as soon as you try any drug. That most drugs have a good chance of killing you the first time you take them. That taking drugs is inherently 'dirty'. Drugs are something for a feral underclass to dabble in: I'm far too good for that. Well these are the types of conclusions you come to without information. There is never any definition of what 'dirty' means. Never any explanation to me why they feel so uncomfortable snorting a line but not having a smoke. The route of administration is definitely a factor, with injecting and snorting being something people definiterly look down on. I tried flipping the conversation: OK then, well, how about putting some speed in a drink? Just like you would vodka, mix it with some juice, you won't even taste anything. The "I don't want to go out of my mind" reason belies a total lack of knowledge. Stimulant drugs enhance thought processes and sharpness of mind, unlike alcohol which dulls those functionings, and certainly not like LSD which creates an entirely new field of perception. You're easily more aware of yourself and more in control on coke than drunk.
There are a few addiction myths. The easiest myth I can dispel is that addictions is instant. That is just not true. Most initial drug experiences are difficult, disappointing, or generally mild. I imagine the vast majority of first time drug experimenters never go beyond this initial stage... those of us that do revisit with the allure of great promise; I would say like a moth to the flame but that is to denigrate the many, many people who - once they break the 'barrier' - go on to have a manageable and healthy relationship with drugs. But there will always be a relationship with them once you break the barrier. That relationship will be binding. You may not take drugs all the name, you may not think about them all the time, they may not be the most important thing in your life, they may not feel like they matter at all, when you think about them they may not even be hugely - let alone compulsively - appealing, but you will think about them. At stages, when triggered, your mind will drift to the thought of them. The frequency of that drifting and the triggers for it may determine much about how your 'relationship' proceeds.
The barrier I'm talking about is that first great drug experience. I have only taken a narrow scope of drugs but I imagine the experience is universal, and can apply to any drug: that breakthrough moment, that defining experience. The truth is - that not many people, I imagine, are willing to admit for how addictive this statement alone sounds - is that once experienced, your perspective on the world changes. Nothing you have ever experienced in your life, no matter how meaningful, will come close. It will be the best thing you have ever done, the greatest feeling you have ever felt. The memories - foggy, hazy, nondescript, malformed as they may be, it doesn't matter, even the memory of having a memory of the experience is enough - will become crystallised in whatever part of your brain controls pleasures and drives. The association will be insidious
I can actually recall once upon a time living in painful ignorance of the reality of drugs. Looking back I am shocked at how little I knew and how much I took at face value from terrible sources - friends, family, newspapers worst of all. It only takes a moderate interest to uncover the discrepancy between the media smokescreen and the genuine reality. Once I'd developed a significant interest in drugs I was left disgusted with the at times laughable, at times infuriating and entirely false image that was perpetuated not just by overzealous parents and schools, but by pretty much the entire mainstream media and most damagingly by the highest levels of international government, from the UN downwards to the national states of almost every country in the world. The 'War on Drugs' is hopeless moral crusade that is, at its core, unfeasible and unsustainable. I say this because the moral argument - "drugs should be banned because drugs are bad" - is a gross oversimplification and no longer matters. We pride ourselves on undertaking costly moral causes: the patient requiring 20+ operations and endless appointments, prescriptions, meetings, check-ups and everything in-between. The cost can run into millions merely on one individual. Simply in economic terms, resources could be better allocated helping a large number of people in moderate trouble, making incremental improvements to many lives. But that's not how we work. We can turn a blind eye to the most effective solution in favour of the 'right' one. And just as no-one is willing to stand up and say "The cost of treatment for society outweighs your value to them" to a hopeless case, yet all too happy to complain about NHS waiting lists, it's the same with drugs. Governments simply refuse to engage in debate about drugs. I have spoken to many people that, simply as a point of principle, won't engage in a discussion about drugs. That's a whole lot of instantly misplaced votes.
How about some popular myths about drugs and addiction then? Reasons frequently given for not wanting to try drugs "I don't want to lose control of myself/get out of my head" theres a real fear that EVERY drug is a psychedelic; that they all have hallucinogenic properties and cause fantastic visions and crazy 'trips'. That you'll get addicted as soon as you try any drug. That most drugs have a good chance of killing you the first time you take them. That taking drugs is inherently 'dirty'. Drugs are something for a feral underclass to dabble in: I'm far too good for that. Well these are the types of conclusions you come to without information. There is never any definition of what 'dirty' means. Never any explanation to me why they feel so uncomfortable snorting a line but not having a smoke. The route of administration is definitely a factor, with injecting and snorting being something people definiterly look down on. I tried flipping the conversation: OK then, well, how about putting some speed in a drink? Just like you would vodka, mix it with some juice, you won't even taste anything. The "I don't want to go out of my mind" reason belies a total lack of knowledge. Stimulant drugs enhance thought processes and sharpness of mind, unlike alcohol which dulls those functionings, and certainly not like LSD which creates an entirely new field of perception. You're easily more aware of yourself and more in control on coke than drunk.
There are a few addiction myths. The easiest myth I can dispel is that addictions is instant. That is just not true. Most initial drug experiences are difficult, disappointing, or generally mild. I imagine the vast majority of first time drug experimenters never go beyond this initial stage... those of us that do revisit with the allure of great promise; I would say like a moth to the flame but that is to denigrate the many, many people who - once they break the 'barrier' - go on to have a manageable and healthy relationship with drugs. But there will always be a relationship with them once you break the barrier. That relationship will be binding. You may not take drugs all the name, you may not think about them all the time, they may not be the most important thing in your life, they may not feel like they matter at all, when you think about them they may not even be hugely - let alone compulsively - appealing, but you will think about them. At stages, when triggered, your mind will drift to the thought of them. The frequency of that drifting and the triggers for it may determine much about how your 'relationship' proceeds.
The barrier I'm talking about is that first great drug experience. I have only taken a narrow scope of drugs but I imagine the experience is universal, and can apply to any drug: that breakthrough moment, that defining experience. The truth is - that not many people, I imagine, are willing to admit for how addictive this statement alone sounds - is that once experienced, your perspective on the world changes. Nothing you have ever experienced in your life, no matter how meaningful, will come close. It will be the best thing you have ever done, the greatest feeling you have ever felt. The memories - foggy, hazy, nondescript, malformed as they may be, it doesn't matter, even the memory of having a memory of the experience is enough - will become crystallised in whatever part of your brain controls pleasures and drives. The association will be insidious