The way people treat each other...

[chrisalt]

So basically at 20 years old i stopped doing alot of things i that i shouldnt have been doing, Althought i always treated people who treated me well the same in return, Even if they treated me bad i tried to treat them well as best i could (even tho i was doing shady shit sometimes but in general not to people). So basically fast forward 5 years and im 25 years old in a month. I just dumped my GF of 5 months because she was turning into the type of girl i had dated for 4 years in my teens. She actally called the cops on me and luckly they knew she was bat shit nuts.(but it funny she was normal b4 when i met her because i TRIED to make sure to fined a sane girl this time) Its also good they knew i did nothing because ive been arrested 3 times, nothing to major though except a fraud beef.

I have come to the final conclusion that no matter how i good i treat people (women especially..ive been with several and there all the same, even the ones that come off normal in the start) the will shit all over me. I find this funny because im am an amazingly scary looking dude in apprence (and sometime mentally due to getting fucked in life since 10) and if i just break bad completly ill get the gd respect(or fear) that will teach people not to fuck with me. In fact the worse i am a as person the more fear and respect i get.

My point to this is finally i guess fuck it, maybe its time to be an asshole and do what i want when i want regardless of the of what could happen. Fuck how pointless life is and im done trying. Im going to do what ever i have to do (good or bad to make my life as comfortable as possible till i die.


Thoughts?

 

[Vaya]

To make sure I understand correctly, your experiences with several opportunistic and neurotic people has instilled the fuck it mentality in you with regards to living life itself?

If this is the case, then I might suggest that you take some time to re-evaluate who you consider yourself to be in this world. Until now, has it been a universal truth of your reality that you are who you are purely in relation to those around you?

I can identify with this line of thinking, although I have become more and more acute at identifying those times I'm feeling low due specifically to the way others may treat me - and just how toxic this kind of thinking can be. It is both unrealistic and destructive.

Of course, there is ample reason to examine why people, including romantic relationships, seem to persist in throwing you under the bus. Were they truly honorable people before you became involved - or is the reality that you two may not have known each other as well or known those small but important idiosyncrasies peculiar to each other's personality, as well as you might have?

Oftentimes when there are seemingly inexplicable disputes and personal mistreatment by one or more persons in a relationship, the taproot can be traced back to a lack of complete and mutual understanding towards the other party. This has happened to me on several occasions; I'm 26 now and have just begun to pick up on this universality within the past few months.

There ought to be no reason to throw up your arms and stop trying. Doing so will, inevitably, land you in more socially and psychologically precarious situations than you ind yourself in now.

My suggestion revolves around viewing your past relationships as learning experiences - pools of hard-knocks knowledge learnt through experience - rather than accumulating intensive personal failures. Remember, we all learn tremendously from our past mistakes. This is why hindsight is usually 20/20

Remain vigilant; you, like myself, are far too young to be throwing in life's towel before giving life the time it needs to teach you what you will need to know.

For what it's worth, I hope this can, at least partially, spare you from the spinning hamster wheel with no destination that manifests as self-pity.

It takes time. Be strong, and above all, continue to be that goodness that you will find in another. That is crucial - kudos for living by it!

Be well

~Vaya

 

[chrisalt]

Very good advice Vaya. Also i hear you we are to young to be giving up. Its just so hard not to give up and end up 6 feet under or in prison.

 

[Vaya]

I've always felt that giving up, per se, was the easier of the two options we face when addressing adversities we encounter in our everyday lives. It is so much more simple to sink into the proverbial swamps of self-pity (I've often caught myself doing this) rather than maintain a flicker of vigilance, hope and faith when ensconced by darkness.

Maintain a purposeful grip, and life will re-route in due time. "The waiting is the hardest part, to be sure, though!!

~ Vaya

 

[Pagey]

chrisalt, it just sounds like you've been very unlucky recently but this isn't a reason to give up on people as a whole/ give up on what you believe is the right way to treat people. I understand it's easy to get into a 'all women are like that' mentality, but you really do need to fight it (think how unfair that is to us!). This past year I've had horrible experiences with men, my dad started hitting me even more, my boyfriend was an asshole and cheated on me with one of my friends, my best friend (male) decided he wanted to make himself a new group of friends and I was raped. Trust me, I've thought many times that all men were horrible beings designed to make my life miserable but of course that isn't true. Don't give up on people, the decent and worthwhile ones are just around the corner

 

[herbavore]

Be the person you want to be with. Be that person with no expectations. Being compassionate based on what you get back is not being compassionate at all.

 

[chrisalt]

chrisalt, it just sounds like you've been very unlucky recently but this isn't a reason to give up on people as a whole/ give up on what you believe is the right way to treat people. I understand it's easy to get into a 'all women are like that' mentality, but you really do need to fight it (think how unfair that is to us!). This past year I've had horrible experiences with men, my dad started hitting me even more, my boyfriend was an asshole and cheated on me with one of my friends, my best friend (male) decided he wanted to make himself a new group of friends and I was raped. Trust me, I've thought many times that all men were horrible beings designed to make my life miserable but of course that isn't true. Don't give up on people, the decent and worthwhile ones are just around the corner

I hope your right but im turning 25 in on Oct 30, and awful awful things have been done to me by friends, bullies(not anymore i made sure of that) GF's etc etc since i was 10. So its just hard to see, think or hope there are better people around the corner or that I will meet them one day. So i guess my soul is gone. There is a quote i heard somewhere and i like. I hope im saying it right.

"For i no longer fear death, because i ceased to exist for 10000000000 of years and suffered no inconvience"
im just gonna live however i want and do what ever i want to get it then die, not exist and be a peace for once in my life.

 

[chrisalt]

Be the person you want to be with. Be that person with no expectations. Being compassionate based on what you get back is not being compassionate at all.

I hear what you are saying herb but when all you do it give give give expecting nothing.... after awhile it would be nice to be on the side that doesnt get shit on for give give giving. Im done being a door mate and basically there are no reprecussions for being a dick in this life or not so fuck it

 

[Pagey]

im just gonna live however i want and do what ever i want to get it then die, not exist and be a peace for once in my life.

Well if that's what you want you do it but it doesn't sound like much of a life...
Careful not to hurt others along the way.

 

[chrisalt]

Well if that's what you want you do it but it doesn't sound like much of a life...
Careful not to hurt others along the way.

No ones life is much of a life that whats people don't get. Its apprently does not mean shit if you are good or bad. Bliss comes with death.....Life is pain and suffering and not much else. Ill ill try not to massacre peoples souls like mine has been

 

[Pagey]

I don't want to start a huge debate but I don't think it's up to you, or to anyone in fact, to judge how important someone else's life is. I personally think my life isn't worth anything which is why I tried to take it away but that doesn't give me the right to ruin someone else's because maybe theirs is.

 

[herbavore]

I hear what you are saying herb but when all you do it give give give expecting nothing.... after awhile it would be nice to be on the side that doesnt get shit on for give give giving. Im done being a door mate and basically there are no reprecussions for being a dick in this life or not so fuck it

Don't get me wrong-- I am not advocating being a doormat by any means. Being compassionate actually starts with yourself. Being around people who treat you badly without saying, "enough" is not at all what I would want to see you or anyone else do. I am only saying that to use other people's mistreatment of you as a justification for giving up your own humanity and kindness seems like cutting off your nose to spite your face.

I hear guys say this kind of thing a lot. They say, " I am sensitive and kind and all the women seem to go for the guys that are macho assholes." My question is always, "and you want to be with those women who want that?" I think that being a truly kind person, not a doormat, is its own reward. We are all complex beings with needs we don't always even understand ourselves and so it is inevitable that we will get hurt by others and we will inevitably hurt others as well. That being acknowledged, I still believe in integrity. Losing your own integrity in reaction to someone's bad behavior just doesn't make sense to me.

It sounds like you were really deeply hurt. That hasn't gotten acknowledged in all the discussion of your conclusion. I am sorry. It feels horrible to be treated badly by someone that you genuinely cared about and treated kindly yourself. I don't mean to minimize how much that hurts.

 

[chrisalt]

I get how you feel and what you mean. I just don't want my humanity anymore. I want nothing to do with being human(mentallly). Its brings nothing but sadness pain and suffering.


Feel free to close this. I do believe the thread has run it course.

Thanks for the repiles.

 

[RedLeader]

People drive me fucking crazy too. I try and meditate in the morning and be all about peace and love, but then sometimes dealing with the general public for 8 hours at work makes me want to scream. At the end of the day, a lot of people are ignorant, rude, self-centered/serving, fake, clueless, and do they insane things out of various fears and insecurities. The reasons for this are so complex and broad in our culture that it's virtually impossible for one person to do anything about it, and improbable to get a group large enough to act as a force against it.

At the same time, I've been fortunate enough to have been taken to places/societies in my travels that weren't nearly as frustrating. In fact, several were quite comfortable, quite good. And the way I see it, instead of trying to adapt to those around me, my goal in life is to save up enough money to move to a place in the world where I feel more comfortable and be able to surround myself with like-minded people. It can be done, just a lot of people sell themselves short or don't have the patience to save-up/plan-out.

Trust me, you don't want to go down the path of becoming an asshole in attempt to "get back" or to "get your own." That's just a sad state-of-affairs is that's what people want to do. Misery loves company, but you don't have to be a part of that. Find people like yourself and try and get physically close to them.