The Warrior -- please give feedback!

[manic_panic]

This was the very first song I ever wrote, about a year ago.

“The Warrior”

(R. Rosson)

Humba, humba
I had a screw loose, I had a toothache
I was stumblin’ ‘round the base
with a brave look on my face

on the toes of my feet…

Now I’m scattered across the battlefield
into pieces, I stepped on a landmine
No one understands my pain
but that’s okay cuz it’s the last time I

put my ass on the line…

ch:
Hey now my fate has come
I won’t tell you that I didn’t choose it
I finally feel like a warrior
I’ve got the scars to prove it

I jumped right ahead to my destiny
I pushed myself so hard to get to it
I finally feel like a warrior
don’t tell me that you never knew it
(to be true…)

Humba, humba
there’s a rumble in the jungle
I never took a wrong turn oh no
I just had a little tumble!
I’ve taken a final blow I’ve made
many perfect mistakes before
a world bound to crumble
though I was humming low
and getting bored

Now I’m tattered but baby I’m blessed to be
your knight in shining armor
I’m like the luckiest man alive
in a world outa order
Baby, I’m your warrior
I hope to one day be a farmer
maybe it’s somethin’ about our karma
in a world out of order

well you really put me in line…

(repeat chorus)

I’m your WARRIOR!
I’ll take care of you
cause it’s just glorious
to a be warrior

for you anything is
fine…
~

 

[empty_remains]

Pretty good, I can see it with a country tune. Flows well.

 

[manic_panic]

yeah, it's supposed to be a poppy rock country getup. soon we'll see how that turns out...haha. thank you!