Mellabopper
Bluelighter
The first time
I walked home
From your place.
Your new place
Seemed like your new self, even.
Mixed signals
They confuse me too much
I don't know what to
Think
Feel
Say
Do.
I don't know.
I just don't know.
Sometimes I wish summer had never come
And things could've stayed as they were
Because something has changed
I think
I'm not sure if it is an internal change
Or an external one.
I think I most fear the latter.
I know I do
Because it has been tearing at my soul
And my mind
And I have no reason to doubt you
But I do.
And I can't help that.
I don't know why it was
That I had to pull you to me
Granted you didn't pull away
However
It just wasn't the same
Something was missing
Maybe it was my faith.
Maybe the altered states
Have altered you
More often now than ever before
And I don't know if I can handle that
That amongst many others.
I'm so confused.
I really don't know what to do.
On my walk home
Sometimes I didn't even remember walking for a while
And then others I had to remind myself to keep walking
Rather than stop and ponder over what had just happened
Or didn't happen for that matter.
Is it me or is it you?
Or is it another?
I hope not.
I couldn't deal with that
Not from you.
Because maybe then, my faith would never return.
My one last haven intoxicated and forbidden to me
What happened?
What changed?
On my walk home I found a stranger's wallet
After hesitating,
I picked it up.
I knew if I didn't do it
Someone else would
But maybe someone already had.
I actually did the right thing
I didn't even think twice
I returned it to the police
But for some reason they took down my name.
I did look into the wallet to how much cash I was missing out on.
But nothing was there.
I think someone had gotten to it before me.
But at least I hoped I would have made someone's day better
Than mine
Because they will have gotten something back
That they thought they lost.
I'm still waiting to get mine back.
But I'm afraid
And fearing more everyday
And every second
That it is gone
And I'm scared that
I won't be able to get it back,
no matter how hard i try.
9-5-02 (2:14am)
Mellabopper
[ 05 September 2002: Message edited by: Mellabopper ]
I walked home
From your place.
Your new place
Seemed like your new self, even.
Mixed signals
They confuse me too much
I don't know what to
Think
Feel
Say
Do.
I don't know.
I just don't know.
Sometimes I wish summer had never come
And things could've stayed as they were
Because something has changed
I think
I'm not sure if it is an internal change
Or an external one.
I think I most fear the latter.
I know I do
Because it has been tearing at my soul
And my mind
And I have no reason to doubt you
But I do.
And I can't help that.
I don't know why it was
That I had to pull you to me
Granted you didn't pull away
However
It just wasn't the same
Something was missing
Maybe it was my faith.
Maybe the altered states
Have altered you
More often now than ever before
And I don't know if I can handle that
That amongst many others.
I'm so confused.
I really don't know what to do.
On my walk home
Sometimes I didn't even remember walking for a while
And then others I had to remind myself to keep walking
Rather than stop and ponder over what had just happened
Or didn't happen for that matter.
Is it me or is it you?
Or is it another?
I hope not.
I couldn't deal with that
Not from you.
Because maybe then, my faith would never return.
My one last haven intoxicated and forbidden to me
What happened?
What changed?
On my walk home I found a stranger's wallet
After hesitating,
I picked it up.
I knew if I didn't do it
Someone else would
But maybe someone already had.
I actually did the right thing
I didn't even think twice
I returned it to the police
But for some reason they took down my name.
I did look into the wallet to how much cash I was missing out on.
But nothing was there.
I think someone had gotten to it before me.
But at least I hoped I would have made someone's day better
Than mine
Because they will have gotten something back
That they thought they lost.
I'm still waiting to get mine back.
But I'm afraid
And fearing more everyday
And every second
That it is gone
And I'm scared that
I won't be able to get it back,
no matter how hard i try.
9-5-02 (2:14am)
Mellabopper
[ 05 September 2002: Message edited by: Mellabopper ]
