FunctionalJnkieGrl
Bluelighter
...But knowing you're about to score is almost better than the high itself. Am right?
The waiting game is cruel and unusual torture...
- Thread starter FunctionalJnkieGrl
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AngelsandFairiesarereal
Bluelighter
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- Dec 17, 2022
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- 3,727
lol yea you right
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
being addicted to drugs is such a fuckin hassle man 
AngelsandFairiesarereal
Bluelighter
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- Dec 17, 2022
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I feel you, I was actually just thinking about that beforebeing addicted to drugs is such a fuckin hassle man
*sometimes I wish I were normal, but don’t know if it’s so hardwired into my system after decades of going through this … like wonder if there’s an actual imprint in my brain or nervous system (if that makes any sense)
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2011
- Messages
- 25,423
Yes... There absolutely is an imprint. Drugs rewire your brain.I feel you, I was actually just thinking about that before
*sometimes I wish I were normal, but don’t know if it’s so hardwired into my system after decades of going through this … like wonder if there’s an actual imprint in my brain or nervous system (if that makes any sense)
I do not miss waiting on my opiate script at all. I dont miss being addicted and waiting and counting down the fucking seconds till your good again. Fuck that
probably wanking on meth
skipjames
Bluelighter
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- Apr 4, 2022
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- 1,041
I ve the opposite problem, my favourite dealer comes in at most 40 mins but as it s too much time to wait we call the other guy who s at our place in at most 15 mins. Then it s night and we have other options , the longer I had to wait was 35 mins. But I m talking about blow, the competition is huge só they have to be competitive. Opi dealers have always been assholes in my experience
jasperkent
Bluelighter
True.
But with some tinkering and a lot of patience you can re-rewire your brain. Trust me when I say that if I can do it, anybody can do it.
In this process fellow strugglers, nutrients, and a positive attitude are your best friends. This is also true for life in general.
-- Former drunk/junkie/tweaker/suicidal loser but now just a happy-go-lucky Old Hippiebilly,
jasper
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Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
Some of you may enjoy this. Hilarious movie about 3 junkies trying to score H but everything keeps going wrong. Very relatable, and was written/acted by actual heroin addicts.
(It's mostly comedy but there are some pretty dark/sad scenes in it, hits you right in the feels as an addict)
(It's mostly comedy but there are some pretty dark/sad scenes in it, hits you right in the feels as an addict)
jasperkent
Bluelighter
Definitely a good movie with some laugh-out-loud moments, but also very triggering.
When I watched it (clean&sober), I got really antsy because I could so relate to the anxiety of the ordeal.
Still, I strongly recommend it.
Hell no, when I was an alcoholic waiting till 7am was a nightmare even if it was only an hour or so. Lol
Did you find the real ones or the less desirable option? I actually was banned for a while and hadn't seen you post for a while when I was allowed back, I thought something bad happened, well are you ok? I hate to see bad things happen to others even if I don't know them. Wow I have empathy, guess I am sane. Lol
FunctionalJnkieGrl
Bluelighter
I feel you, I was actually just thinking about that before
*sometimes I wish I were normal, but don’t know if it’s so hardwired into my system after decades of going through this … like wonder if there’s an actual imprint in my brain or nervous system (if that makes any sense)
Yep. I heard the reason why is because you're body gets so dependent on massive surges of dopamine from the drugs, that your body can actually forget how to produce it naturally. That or the normal amount of dopamine your body produces is no longer enough. I still have hope though. Maybe there's a chance that my brain will return to its normal, pre-addiction state of functioning--even if it takes years.
FunctionalJnkieGrl
Bluelighter
That's what my middle man has to deal with as far as getting blues for me goes. Its not him, it's the asshole he gets them from who makes me wait nearly a week to bring them. He lives a half hour or so away and even a couple hundred bucks isn't enough to light a fire under his ass. I heard he gets high on his own supply though and that could be a problem. The OP's I use to get so quickly and easily are becoming scarce now too. That being said, I'm gonna attempt to quit altogether this year. Hopefully Kratom will help me out as much as it did last time, but I can't be sure. Last time I was able to ration myself down to next to nothing before switching to kratom. This time around I might have no choice but to kick blues if the OP connection gets cut off.
FunctionalJnkieGrl
Bluelighter
Or passed out on the blues he's supposed to be selling. I don't think he does meth, but he's definitely a procrastinator who gets high on his own supply.
Reward prediction responses in the wild
FunctionalJnkieGrl
Bluelighter
Opioid dealers are usually jerks, yes. That being because they either don't care how miserable you feel or they're addicted too and they are their own first priority as well as the rest of us.
FunctionalJnkieGrl
Bluelighter
I've been wanting to watch this too, but I'll have to watch it when I'm pinned out rather than jonesing. Haha. I always said there are plenty of movies about drug addiction, but they always just show the people doing the drugs and the resulting high, rather than the lesser explored aspects surrounding drug use--such as the waiting game, the driving around relentlessly, jumping through firey hoops, etc. I guess a film was finally made that focuses on all the bullshit that comes with addiction rather than the addiction itself. It's about time. I need to watch it.
FunctionalJnkieGrl
Bluelighter
Thank you so much for your concern. I'm doing okay for now, I suppose. But yeah, pharmaceuticals are hard to come by these days and getting blues is no cake walk either. Mostly because the prick who gets them doesn't give a fuck about how much pain his customers are in and he'll make you wait forever unless he gets worried that you'll spend your money elsewhere. Even a couple hundred bucks isn't enough to get him to put it in 3rd gear half of the time. If one things for sure, I'm getting tired of getting the runaround for just enough to hold me over for a week at best. It sucks, but I'm hanging in there.