The voice within

[suki_lives]

The voice within is saying
If you could climb the stairs to my bed
I would let you watch the stars from the sky light
At night, we could lie and just watch them

Instead I clasp a mobile phone device
Trying but not quite succeeding
To somehow get a message to you
Although I don't know what the message is
And I don't think you'd want to hear
Anything that I might have to say

Once upon a time I would have given you every star
Each one a fragment of myself
But I held them in my own small hands
And they crumbled into bitter residue
Each word and each thought un-noticed

I’ve closed myself in now
Washing myself clean with the suds of the past
Bohemian lemon scent
Do you remember?
Please say you remember that much
If nothing else
Because
My heart shines out
In rainbow-coloured hues
Because the smell reminds me of you
It's all I have left to cling to
A raft to keep me afloat
I'm so far adrift now
You're on the land, out of reach

Sometimes I wonder…
Sometimes the love that we feed another
Starves rather than nourishes
I blame myself
For the bitter destruction
The crumbling foundations
The screams and tears and arguments
If you could sit and watch me bathed in this fluorescent light
Trying to keep inside what I hide
So racked with the loss I've had to come to terms with
Living each day thinking of you
Trying not to think of you
Unable to undo the harm that was done
Hating myself
Because my love was not enough
My tempestuous heart could burst

I’m almost ashamed to be so open with you now
Knowing that I should be humble and silent
But you know me better than that
I could never keep my mouth shut
Always the one to wear my heart on my sleeve
The frail heart I tried so hard to make strong with my love for you
Now forever weakened
I blame myself
I am unable to breathe tonight
Knowing you were so close
Yet so far
It leaves me shaking with bereavement

The beauty and intelligence that I so adored
Still exists
I knew it did
I wasn’t ever wrong about that.

 

[sciencedj]

Beautiful Words....you're very talented

 

[suki_lives]

Thank you. I hope with all my heart it conveys the message I wish it to convey.

 

[Sublime Spied Her]

Hey... Still quite the poet huh, Jfur. It's lovely. I can hear your voice. x

 

[suki_lives]

You hear my voice, i see your face.

 

[suki_lives]

i mean every word literally.

 

[Sublime Spied Her]

I know you do.

 

[suki_lives]

you don't know how much it hurts to be missing you.

 

[Sublime Spied Her]

I'm not really wanting to discuss such a subject, that has so much depth, on here.

 

[suki_lives]

where does it get discussed?

 

[Sublime Spied Her]

Email me or something. I dunno. If you've got things to say then surely that would be a better way. I still have the same email addy. You know the one.

 

[up all night]

Sometimes I wonder…
Sometimes the love that we feed another
Starves rather than nourishes

I've always liked your work but I'm particularly glad the person who should be reading it has.

 

[suki_lives]

Thank you

 

[colicolo]

this piece stirs up memories, simmer with thyme, just add seasonal names.

 

[Raz]

The beauty and intelligence that I so adored
Still exists
I knew it did
I wasn’t ever wrong about that.

To me, that last passage is so pure in its devotion...I really like this piece.