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Venting The Vent/Rant Thread Vs. You Silly KnuckleHeads Can Go Fly a Kite!!

n3ophy7e said:
How did you go mate? You healing well? <3
Click to expand...

Doing pretty good.. almost no pain really. its getting a little inflamed from eating etc.. but its day whatever so the sutures should dissolve soon or im just going to remove them as they are the main source of discomfort.

Thanks for asking n3
 
The time has come for a rant about my awful husband.

So, he had COVID a couple of weeks ago and was supremely melodramatic about it. I've never seen a bigger prima donna performance before in my life. You might've thought he was in the palliative stage of a terminal illness. I am not exaggerating.

Now, yall know I am deeply compassionate and caring by nature, and I am a veterinary technician (in Australia it's called a vet nurse). So yes, I am a nurse, for animals, sure, but I am a NURSE. Taking care of sick patients is what I do for a living, and I've been doing it for over 18 years.
So naturally I took care of him, it is second nature to me, I do it automatically without even thinking. Around the clock I would check in on him, offer him more water, check him for fever and pain, offer more tylenol and ibuprofen, check the temperature of the room, turn the heater up or down as required, refill the humidifier as required, make sure he ate something every 6 hours, make sure he showered once a day. That's what wives do. In sickness and in health.

On the 4th day of this, he emerged from his bedroom and I took the opportunity to ask him if he felt okay to look after our son for an hour while I went for an acupressure massage as my neck and shoulder nerves were pinching (this is something I need done approximately once a month, it is NOT for pleasure, it is so that I can function). He said yes that's fine, so I went. If any of you have read my "Abusive husband" thread in SLR you will know that I returned from said massage to find my son alone on the floor in front of the TV next to our 2 pit bulls and my husband had gone back to bed 🤬
INEXCUSABLE
Then the NEXT morning, so the 5th day of his melodramatic man-flu, presuming he was finally feeling at least a little bit better, I took my son in to my husband's bedroom and asked him if he could do his morning feed cos I hardly slept that night, he said "not really but okay". I asked why not, he said "cos I feel like shit haven't you got that through your skull by now?".
What the ACTUAL FUCK is your FUCKING PROBLEM????????

But that is not the purpose of this rant.

A week later our social worker came for a home visit to check in on how we're going. Lol. As usual I pasted a smile on my face and played good wifey, something I have become quite good at now. My husband on the other hand told her how he had covid and how I did not look after him at all, and how I kept trying to palm off our son to him each morning that he was sick just so that I could sleep in, and that I took myself off to get a massage when he was too sick to get out of bed. He then said "If the tables were turned and you had covid, I would wait on you hand and foot, and take care of our son to make sure you could get enough rest". HA! 🤣

Lo and behold I now have covid. My son also has covid. Tested positive 2 days ago.

Would anyone like to guess if my husband has offered to care for either me or my son? Anyone? Anyone at all??

If any of you have answered NO, you are CORRECT!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

In FACT, on Sunday night, the day I tested positive (keep in mind I was already symptomatic and feeling like shit since Thursday) he took it upon himself to GO TO HIS MATES HOUSE to "GET OUT OF MY HAIR" so that I COULD REST.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

Anyway, yada yada yada bullshit bullshit, fast forward to last night, my son's temperature spiked to nearly 100 degrees and he was really unwell.

**TBC, gotta tend to my son

Cont'...
So yes, last night my son got a fever and was very unwell. I'm a new mum and this is the first time he's proper sick so I was very very anxious. I checked all his vitals, checked him for any rashes, checked his extremities for cyanosis, checked him for laboured breathing, basically did my nursing thang. My husband told me to stop it because I was "overthinking it". I called the 24-hour nurse's hotline to lodge a case (just in case I had to take him to hospital) and ask for advice re: bed clothing and room temperature for a fever. The nurse was fantastic and really eased my anxiety. However she did say that given the circumstances she advised me to call a doctor immediately for further advice. She gave me some late night on-call doctors to call.

My husband's opinion?? "Let's just go to bed and see how he goes"

Just see how he goes? SEE HOW HE GOES???? With covid? Just wait and see how he goes?! Are you actually a psychopath????

My response? "This is my son. That is not good enough. There is nothing you can say or do that will convince me to not call the doctor"

He then said "Alright fine, geeeez, no need for the attitude, why don't you just tell me to shut up instead of giving me a lecture".

I looked him dead in the eyes and calmly but sternly said "Shut. Up.".
He then stormed off to bed.
LOL fucking good. He was doing nothing except standing there with his dick in his hand being a nuisance anyway, he was better off out of the way anyway.

Then went back to tending to my son and called the doctor.

My son and I had a rather fitful night, we both had a fever and a yucky cough, I couldn't sleep because every time my son coughed it sounded like he was choking (he has laryngomalacia and an extremely rare heart defect so I am hypervigilant with his breathing) so I had to shine my phone torch on him to check his breathing and colour. But his temperature has come down this morning and he's doing well. What a fucking little legend ❤

Now the fun part. After pretty much no sleep, having a fever for nearly 3 days, chest pain, painful cough, piercing headache, just generally feeling bleghh, I got up with my son this morning at 7am, did my nursing things, then did my usual mother things, then we napped together on the couch (which I love doing ❤). All the while my stupid lazy-ass selfish cunt of a husband slept in until 10am.

What happened to "if the tables were turned"?! What happened to "I'd wait on her hand and foot"?! What happened to taking care of our son so that I could rest? :LOL::ROFLMAO:😠

*edit* OMFG I forgot to say one of the most disgustingly horrible parts!!!!!
On Sunday night when I went to bed I was having trouble breathing, I could feel my throat constricting ever so slightly. I have asthma so this is a concern. AND the first time I had covid back in March 2020 I was actually admitted to hospital one night because I couldn't breathe. My husband knows this.
I went back out to the loungeroom where my husband was nonchalantly scrolling through his phone as usual, and I said "umm I having trouble breathing and I'm a bit worried cos I have asthma and when I had covid the first time I went to hospital cos I couldn't breathe. So could you please leave your bedroom door open tonight just in case Jax or I need your help during the night?", his response was, without looking up from his phone (and I quote):

"Yeah whatever"
 
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n3ophy7e said:
It's all good mate, I am one very tough, strong, courageous, capable woman. I am preparing for my escape and as soon as it is feasible my son and I are outta here.
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Not sure how but anything I can assist with in the endeavor please do not hesitate to make it known, yes?
 
This may seem a bit weird to complain about when there are Americans on here, but in Australia all our amazing public health is becoming privatised and it's so bad.

My GP clinic, which I've been attending very frequently (at times in 2016 once a week so my GP could check I was still breathing during my worst substance use in terms of mixing drugs) and on average around twice a month. Over I have to do a long consult and a telehealth during a single week because I'll inevitably forget to bring an issue up.

I found out this week that the clinic isn't bulk billing anymore. Bulk billing means that the public Medicare system pays on behalf of the patient and the patient doesn't pay at all. It's basically used for concession and low income patients.

Now, 7-8 years of seeing one single GP. And he isn't just 'a' GP he has gone above and beyond to help me and is the only person who I actually believe could manage my complex mental health and physical conditions.

The first issue he worked out for me, which he has had to continually manage until he transferred me to a specialist when I was having issues he couldn't figure out, was my medical transition for being transgender. He had not ever done anything like that before and he told me to come back in 2 weeks while he researched what to do so he didn't send me off to waste my time, then referred me to all the right places to get hormones and surgery over the next year. And now is helping with further surgery. At this stage he has around 10 trans patients and is on the trans friendly medical practitioners list in my city due to how good he is on this issue.

Then in 2016-2017 he managed my severe substance use and kept me alive despite not knowing anything about substance use when I first told him I was using them. He found out about naltrexone, and eventually prescribed me Suboxone despite not wanting to do it and risking it becoming the only thing he did but he made an exception for me.

He has continued to manage my bipolar which is fairly severe with oversight from my psychiatrist, as well as helped me with cPTSD.

He knows about autism and helps me with my government disability funding when I need paperwork for it for reviews and such. He also understands that autism makes me very resistant to sudden changes so he always warns me way before he goes on holiday so I'll cope.

He knows about ARFID, which is the autism related sensory eating disorder I have.

He prescribes me my dexamphetamine even though I have a severe history of substance use which NO other GP would EVER agree to do on first meeting me without trusting me, based on my history. And he was more than happy to do it and manage the conditions associated (urine drug screens, checking for IV drug use regularly) and he is also lenient on me when I do use, and doesn't report my use to the drugs of dependence unit because he doesn't think that should result in them cancelling my authority. God bless him. Without this prescription I can't drive, and without driving I lose my job. No job, can't pay my rent. Cannot afford to pay my psychiatrist once a month at $385 a pop per session for the same prescription. No way.

He is compassionate about my self harm, and once sat with me in the nurses room waiting for me to get it dressed during his lunch break because he wanted to ask me why I burnt myself that badly and I was surprised when he asked but answered then he thanked me and said it made sense to him, even if he wouldn't do it himself.

I disclosed my childhood abuse to him generally in 2018/2019 after years of not being ready to trust him, and then last year he read my statement of lived experience for the disabilty funding where I went into explicit detail about the abuse and I absolutely cannot imagine being able to trust another GP within a suitable period of time to have them be compassionate to my situation. I just can't imagine it. And I'm not okay with them being told as an alternative to that, it needs to be when I chose to do it.

So like, I can't just do the simply thing and get another GP. Not just due to not coping with the change from autism, there is a distinct lack of trans friendly GPs and that is absolutely an essential part of my care. Cis people may not see why I can't just see any GP but it really isn't an option. Being treated like shit every single time I need to go to the GP is not appealing to me at all, nor is being inflicted with stupid questions about my body and gender identity. He never does that. If I lost him I would actually spin out for like a year or more I don't know. He's one of the most important people in my life we are even on first name terms now and we roast eachother all the time, and once he actually gave me $10-$20 dollars out of his own wallet when I was homeless and hadn't eaten for like 4 days. I'll never get a GP like that again. The ONLY thing he has refused to do to help me was prescribing prescription nicotine, and I think part of that reason was because he didn't have the license to be able to do it. Literally everything else I've asked for his help with he's been more than happy to do and put in extra effort.

The only way I can keep seeing him without it being bulk billed is if the gap is only $10 or so. If it's more than that, I'll have to see him less and it's going to fuck up my mental and physical health heaps. Even just the burn dressings, asking me to look after a full thickness third degree burn on my own is medical negligence.

I can't believe a STUDENT health practice located ON a university campus started charging students.
 
why the f would they not see bromazolam as an effective drug to prescribe in the usa for certain "conditions"? there are many uses that other benzos cannot touch. almost an all in one drug, imo. makes me question the ethics of the med field even more.
 
Fuckn people today.. deal with your own shit as I’m not in the mood to deal with idiots today
 
So I have essentially wasted nearly 40 years of my life. It took me far too long to realize my family members were even worse than the fake friends I once had. If I had ever become successful they would be jealous.

My brother is 10x the POS that I am, yet he bullies me and treats me as if I am the most useless human on earth. My mother has destroyed any chance I had of meeting a female or making friends.

Over the last 10 years I have been struggling to make enough money to survive on my own while dealing with the most severe depression possible; it’s an absolute miracle I am still alive and most days I wish I wasn’t. I have literally survived 38 years surrounded by enemies. I was 13 years old the last time I had a real friend.

I pray to God everyday that I get a job soon and make enough money to keep these people away from me.

/rant
 
I used to post here from time to time.
That was a while ago.

I'm still alive. Just wanted to say that. I sometimes wonder about people who I knew online. I only know their online name from a certain message board and for many of them I have no way of knowing how their last 10 years have been.

BL was my secondary home. My original home was a HS track website that also talked about college and pro track, but there was also a lounge type board for non-running related things. The owner of the website was getting old and had grown it well, so no one faulted him for selling. However, ESPN bought it. They were there for months before the transition, assuring everyone they weren't going to change much and understand people's concerns. They totally fucked us. You had to re-register, and the new forum was garbage.
An off shoot was created by former users, and I was there for a while. I can't remember my password though or email it was connected to. It surprised me how well you got to know people online from their posting. After a few years, I had a number of their phone #'s and we would randomly text. My all-time favorite text reply was from someone I "knew" for a while, but have never met in person or talked to on the phone/zoom/etc. It had been in the months after a serious relationship ended and I was still in a weird place mentally. I texted one of these online friends at 5:40am. I was watching "King of the Hill" on Cartoon Network. I texted him something like, "I'm probably going to end up like Bill Dauterive". Due to the time, I wasn't expecting a reply until later that day. Couldn't have been more than 2-3minutes later and he replied with "Nah, I bet you don't even own a single wife-beater". Not only did I find this to be a hilarious reply to that statement, but he was 100% right about not owning one, and he'd maybe only seen a handful of pictures of me, so it's not like he had a good handle on what I wear.

I miss stuff like that. Any opiate/opioids completely remove the desire to be social. I'm on methadone now and it doesn't matter if my life isn't chaotic anymore, I just don't feel like being social because of opioids. I feel like people don't believe me when I say that. I also know it effects my sense of humor, which I had considered one of the better parts of my personality. I'm only 90% on opioids. That other 10% was what made me, well me.
 
I remember you Carl Landrover from back in the days when the member Lacey K was around. Glad you’re still alive man.

Rant:

I am praying this world gives me a job so I can make some money and gtfo of the situation I’ve been in for last 10 years.

✌️
 
Nice Carl’s alive and with that solid post Carl’s brain is alive.. that’s all the best stuffings!!! I’m going back to sleep with a feeling a bunch is right with our world.
 
I have good news to report.

I found a job that I start next week. It’s not anything special but I have to take whatever I can get at this point and I am extremely grateful. I pray I’ll find a small apartment before the beginning of winter so I can distance myself from my current house.

Wishing everyone here well and good luck!
 
It seems like some of you guys are getting a little cornfused. We're supposed to post the good news in the Positive thread. lol

Positive - Share Something Positive About Your Day vs This Does Not Suck (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)?

Share Something Positive About Your Day vs This Does Not Suck (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)? Welcome to this version of the Share Something Positive About Your Day thread. So take a look around and share what's good that's going down. Please follow the blua and tds guidelines Last thread Share Something...
bluelight.org bluelight.org
 
Holly lord.. what happened.. road construction sprung up overnight everywhere.. what happened to Summer road construction. Manager is going with me tomorrow.. vomit. I have to listen to his bullshit for an entire work day and try and keep a strait face. idk, im going to look for something different.. way to many tools to deal with
 
i feel like i am resigned to living this pathetic way of life. i am almost 21 and have zero friends. i work a dead end job at a library. i hate it all.
so i bought diphenhydramine at the store. my life is going to spiral downwards. i won't kill myself. i can't. but i hate living this way.
 
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