This came to me as an image, not really an emotional event, and definitely not in a romantic/relationship context. More like a taoist duality balance being offset by a lean towards the positive extreme. When something or someone that finds its stability through remaining in equilibrium or stasis between two opposing/complementary forces is brought to one of the extrememes, it gets severely out of whack. A reality based on the flow of complementary opposites is compromised and subverted by it's lying in the opposite side of the spectrum.
For example, a swell of surf that arrives at night and disappears in the morning subjects a surfer to the tyranny of zero, where all that consumes the person is the opposite extreme of daylight with which to make use of the swell.
And the image i particularly had in mind was of person who is already sensitive in nature taking a psychedelic trip to try and find a deeper balance in the world and in themselves, and to have it muddled and complicated by a bombardment of sensory overload, a state of confusion where there would optimally be calming.
It's also like being 'up' for too long, where you realize that further indulgence in waking consciousness will eventually lead to insanity. Where the sweet dreams of unconscious sleep seem like a million miles away. That's what i mean by 'praying for zero'.
And the search for zero where only one exists is one where the lack of the other extreme is such that it practically mocks the subject in it's attempt to find a happy medium. It's like forgetting your id and not being able to get into a bar, club, or party that means all the difference in the world to you. It is so close you can almost taste it, but you can't. And you may be less than 20 feet away from the action, but it doesn't matter. There is a glass wall separating you, and there's nothing you can really do about it except wait, hope for the best, and find a new way to make peace with your world.
I'm not sure where i'm going with this, i'll probably refine this response in the morning, but i just wanted to shed some light on the thought processes behind this. For those of you that care about me, i'm also letting you know that this was not pre-empted by any major event in my life and i've been quite sober for a while. I'm just giving a little expression to a though i can't seem to clearly define right now.
Hope you enjoy the trip.....
[ 28 July 2002: Message edited by: liquidocean ]
