The tension is unreal

[wecanmakeit]

Hey all,

I've been struggling with addiction to many substances currently and the rebound anxiety from a DXM addiction over half a year after last use. And as much as i keep trying (probably not hard enough), I am hitting a wall with my anxiety as it seems to be ever changing. One step forward two steps back. In addition, i am weaning off my so far short term use (2mo) of prescribed sertraline because i am not a fan of the drug for various reasons though it has possibly helped my depression.

So now im here with a constant muscle tension, day and night, in certain muscles in my forearms, biceps, and entire back. Stretching, hydrating, healthy foods, some valerian root and still not seeing any improvement. I am sure the anxiety has a link with my abusive personality. But i don't know how to get rid of her. I can't feel any sort of satisfaction in life, or very little, if i don't add drugs to the mix.

I guess what im asking from you all is how do you control your anxiety with this abusive personality, cause god knows stopping all substances will lead to an inevitable panic, even if not for first couple days. Thanks in advance.

 

[CrowetheCat]

I haven't really found a way to control my anxiety. I guess it comes with time, but most of us don't want to wait until the withdrawal/rebound Finally ends. Sometimes it doesn't feel like it ever will. I know that my DOC's preventing me from having a peaceful sleep or any kind of comfortable body temperature. But we really only have two choices: wait it out (and it will eventually stop) or keep using, which puts you back to where you started.

 

[cosmic._.ape]

have you tried kava kava? some strains work very well as muscle relaxants, and for some people it helps tremendously with anxiety. Just do not use any extracts or pills, as only the unadulterated root works. You can buy it already powdered, so you just have mix it with some water in a blend it, strain it and drink it (it tastes horrid, but might work and be worth its taste)

my favourite variety for relaxation is called "stone kava", try and get it on the internet, they sell it in the USA

 

[gr33n3y3z]

My whole heart goes out to you OP, I've been suffering from anxiety/panic attack and PSTD for years upon years and I'm only 26.

I know you want to stay clean but a good benzo like Klonopin (It has a long half life), along with some meditation, and therapy to get to the root cause of your anxiety.

A lot of people turn to drug use because they don't understand how else to deal with anxiety

I Hope I didn't miss read your post just woke up drinking my coffee, take care Pm me if needed.

 

[herbavore]

I would suggest learning about breathing techniques and mindfulness. These have helped me immensely with anxiety. Anxiety is thought and you can learn to change your thoughts. These techniques are free, healthy, effect absolutely everything in your life positively and yet people seem to believe in nothing that does not come in pill form. At least investigate these--there is so much information on this now from medical websites to spiritual websites, you can approach it any way you want but it works.

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2213158213000326

 

[wecanmakeit]

Thank you all for your replies, this community is truly one of a kind.

I have not tried kava, and have minimal knowledge about it, but yes I have heard good things. I actually just recently ordered some maeng da kratom tha should be here today. So I am going to start small with that, ~3g, and see how it works for me. I'm honestly very excited and hopeful about it, but I also need to realize I can't always crutch myself, though a little boost can be essential.

As for the klonopin, my psych is leaning away from benzos due to my addictive personality. And as much as it frustrated me in the moment I'm thankful I am not on them.
Herbavore, thank you for the link, I read the abstract and plan to read the study soon, very interesting as I obsess over anxiety studies and am in the middle of working on one now for class.

I'm addition, I chose to use mushrooms to 'search for answers'. Attempted to enter a meditation that turned to an extremely psychedelic experience, blissful and amazing at first, then turned to panic. I couldn't even write a sentence. I felt psychotic. And depressed in the morning, though physically relaxed. Overall I think I'm thankful the experience.

 

[herbavore]

^That's an interesting experience on the mushrooms. You should try to write (journal) about that while it is fresh in your mind. Writing always brings things deeper for me.

 

[cosmic._.ape]

kratom will probably work... only problem is that it works as an opiate, and therefore, it is adictive :/

to most people, if not all, it is only a fraction as addictive as klonopin or general tranquilisers, but it is addictive nonetheless and -i know this by personal experience -if you consume kratom for long enough and enough amounts... you are bound to get a very long and nasty withdrawal once you stop
but by all means try it. I personally love it (sometimes too much)

i actually recently quitted it, and what help me enormously with its withdrawals was mucuna pruriens, a supplement that you can buy on ebay and many other places that increases your dopamine levels and it is not addictive at all http://www.examiner.com/article/mucuna-pruriens-why-this-herb-can-supercharge-your-life

then you should also check the "big and dandy Ibogaine" thread here on blulight, on the psychedelics section. Really, check it out

 

[wecanmakeit]

herb, i got a lotta work right now, but i do intend on journaling my next psychedelic experience whenever that may be.

ape, all signs i see tell me to steer away from many Rx drugs, and not soley for reasons of addiction. It seems like its going to be a trial and error experience for me as far as finding the right dose for Kratom. Anything noteworthy from your experiences concerning dosages? I worry about addiction if i love it too much as you said xD, but im hoping the fast building tolerance will keep me at bay for that. Its just tough to get past the, "i need to be taking something to make this day okay" attitude.

i will definitely look more into mucuna pruriens. Looks like its sorta a natural bupropion! and that seems to be very much so up my alley so thank you for that.

and yes, I really will check it out