And yo Squeaky I am doing great so far. I took 125mg oxy yesterday but I needed to, I was so wiped out from the two weeks of withdrawal and the wild psychedelic trip, the lack of nutrition when I normally have a clean diet. However I have my scripted dose ready and out for tomorrow. Every 6 hours, since I have to take all percocet some days because I used a lot of extended release pills yesterday. I need to remember I had absolutely nothing for a while and it was complete shit, and I sort of think that's just who I am without the pills. I need these prescriptions and I better start respecting them. My oxy's are at a low enough scripted dose that it is easily sustainable, and the withdrawal wouldn't be too bad.
It's a matter of keeping it under control and I don't have an H connect right now. They are really tough for me to find at least good H so I'm done. I'll never do it again. Taking my script tomorrow and I'll take all percocet for the rest of the week and I'll be caught up for the rest of the month apart from 3 days of no oxy's, so then I'll have to cut out some percs on some days (I'm just doing the math and it's only ten of them). This month should be the first time I don't abuse my script. I had a great time yesterday and it was a good day for it, but I can't do that again. Perhaps once a month because yeah like I do one line of H and I'm on it 6 months non stop. Oxy's I'm on non stop too but it's not the same in terms of fiending. I can take a lot one day, and then a normal amount the next day.
I wouldn't even call yesterday a slip, I am being very cautious today and after the other day I know I can do this. I have a little spare money and instead of getting a half gram of dope that would ruin my tolerance right back up to that fucking misery, I am stocking up on benzos. I need to and I have a really sweet benzo available to me. I'm psyched to use it to taper down the road as I'm getting, again quite a bit of it. I never would have considered this when I was on H and I really wanted the benzo and knew I needed to stock up, I let my supply get down to 30 valium which is kinda dangerous while spending all my money on dope and blowing through it. So stupid in hindsight when oxy's relieve my back pain and are not anywhere near as addictive to me as H is.
The oddest thing of all to me is I am actually happy, motivated, and managing my time! I hardly remember how much I was struggling, it's tough for me to remember a withdrawal that harsh. That acid trip changed me though, at least temporarily.