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Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

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Man you are right to be worried. Your #1 concern in life should be to never use any opiate ever again. Dude I was hooked on H for 6 years it did NOT end well, and I was functional for a long time. Eventually I would much rather have been dead. It has been 18 weeks and I still feel that shit fucking with me day after day. Keep away if you are tempted by it that means you haven't suffered enough yet (possibly). I had to SUFFER because I would even consider quitting and eventually it got so bad I just said fuck this and quit. Never relapsed on H but relapsed on oxy's like 100 times as they were prescribed. H was an "this is going to kill me this year" type thing. Some days you'll feel worse than before. Not every day is going to be a good day, you'll see. A lot of happiness arrives when you start feeling less sick, but prepare for the reality of life to set in very quickly.

I have a lot on my plate this weekend finance and career stuff I need to be sharp. Smoking phenomenal chron, got the etizolam in me but not too much. I really need to be sharp. Brewing a second pot of coffee... I've been hooked on them espresso lately haha.

I can guarantee you one thing. You'll feel like a dumbass if you snort or IV or smoke any smack after 9 days of that. It gets worse no matter how long you stay away because you just get worn out and can't bounce back as fast. Also, if I were to use, my tolerance would go from a bump of H to a point in one or two uses and I would start withdrawing hardcore within a matter of days. This is after 4.5 months so I really need to be careful. One hit and I've ruined my life and could die, essentially.
 
Thanks Shroomy. I have another addiction which is crack but I haven't used that either for 9 days. I think once a little time has passed and I start to forget, I will face my hardest test.
 
Thanks Shroomy. You're right. I have an addiction to crack also but I haven't touched that for 9 days either. I think as time passes and I start to forget, I'll face my next challenge.
 
Billy123- congrats brother. Every day is a struggle, but you?re past the hardest part. And take Shroomi?s advice to heart. Tolerance returns within days if you relapse. And you would have to do it all over again. AND next time would be a little worse.

PainfulOne- use the Loperamide. But remember it takes around 24 hours to work and it stays in your system for about 2 days after your last dose. So take a pretty high dose to start, maybe 30 or 60 mg the first day, and add just enough of your morphine to stop your wd?s. Start reducing your dose of lope on day two, with zero morphine on day 2 (unless the lope isn?t working, then take the smallest dose if morphine you can). Continue to taper down your lope every day and stop completely after day 5 or 6. The lope builds in your system and lingers, so the pill you took on Monday is stacking with the one on Tuesday and they are both added to what you take on Wednesday.
For me the lope will block the oxy by day two and if I try to use both I am just wasting my good pills.
I am in the same situation with Mother?s Day. I need to be superman or everyone will be mad at me for screwing up with my pills again. Hopefully I have enough to make it. We are doing stuff on Monday too, so I have to make it through to then. Good luck to us both, and happy Mother?s Day to you and Pokemama!!
 
Thanks Squeaky. Today I'm just relieved to be drug and withdrawal free but I'm going to have plan ahead for when the cravings kick in.
 
Thank you so much Squeaky!
I really appreciate that. Helps me a lot.
Going to get the loperamide today. Start it tonight.
Good luck to us both indeed!

Happy Mothers Day to all the mom's out there.

I sure am grateful to have you guys here to talk to about this problem. It is not easily understood and I sure do appreciate all of you friends here. I pray for all of us and am pulling for all of us! ❤️
 
Thank you Squeaky, for the nice Mother's Day wish! I am going to my son's, who loves to cook, and his is making dinner. So, I get to spend the day with the dogs I have taken care of for the past few years. I rarely get to see them because of work, so this should be a good day.
It sounds like everyone here is working very hard on kicking or reducing the use of their drugs... I know how hard it is so kudos to you all!!
As long as we keep on trying, no matter how many times we backpedal eventually we are successful.
Why??? Because we are stronger than our addiction... sometimes it feels like we aren't, that is the nature of this shit, but we really are stronger than any habit we have and so continuing to strive towards our goals is the only way to do it.. and you are all showing so much persistence and courage.... sending light and love!
 
One of the worst parts I find is it is so hard to communicate the problem to others. I do not look in any way disabled and who could understand what it's like to be in physical pain in the spine 24/7, I didn't even really know you could feel pain there until it happened.

I have some promising job prospects I guess. One in particular would make my summer really fun and it wouldn't be too too stressful.

Started to deal with the benzos as I believe this makes 18 weeks without opiates. That is a long time but it still feels like yesterday. I've felt too dumbed down most of the time for it to really sink in that I have stopped abusing those at least for now and have absolutely no desire to ever go back.

Switching exclusively to valium which is going to be a challenge at first. When I was on valium before it was like I wasn't taking anything after a while. Not so good for social anxiety at all but panic attacks are what I can't handle and it keeps them almost entirely away. Nowadays, I am having panic attacks almost every day because of this fucking rebound anxiety it's so annoying when I know better and it's for stupid reasons that I haven't been val the whole time. This should begin to treat my anxiety a lot better and more smoothly but since the dose strengthens over the first few weeks, I need to transition over to it. Irritating and I am not really sure how it is going to work. I am going to start by taking valium 4x daily and start decreasing the other a little each day. I'd say that this will take about a month until I am on valium only and my daily dose should be way lower / smoother. It is too hard to predict what this will be like but I am hoping about one week of discomfort until I start to stabilize. It won't be too hard if I think it through as I strongly prefer valium for chronic anxiety.
 
I considered the same move to Valium as outlined in the Ashton method for tapering benzos. But it meant 5 or 6 weeks of switching before I could start tapering, and I wanted to get off it ASAP. So I was shaving pills to make really small doses of Lorazepam in the end. It also meant that I could keep getting a full script from my Dr and stash the extras.
That worked well for me with Lorazepam.... not so well with oxy. I ended up using my stash.
 
Why did you want off ASAP dude just curious, if I did that it would damage my brain permanently I think.

5 or 6 weeks of switching? That's insane dude I thought you could switch straight away. Since valium is already in my system and has been for years it should be an easy transition plus I fucking hate short acting anxiolytics. The rebound anxiety completely defeats the purpose and I find that I get way too much anxiety relief for too short a time, increasing my tolerance for no good reason and to something I realistically have no choice in using at this point.

Not that I am in much physical pain compared to before. I have typical workout soreness today from hot yoga yesterday. My entire body is sore, but what really bothers me are the upper arms. It feels like the opiate withdrawal symptoms one of the ones I hated most. I feel like my body is making it way worse than it is because the rest of my body is fine. It's making me feel like I'm in withdrawal I am sensitive to it. I wake up like this frequently these days it's hard to ignore. Clearly working out is good for me my body will need to do its thing to deal with that discomfort and it isn't real withdrawal I hope. It is a reminder or trigger maybe because I feel like I could use a perc. The tricks of the brain it can happen with anything. A part of the mind wants back on the dope of course it does and always will. These cravings are not like joint ones I don't think they go away in time it just gets less difficult.
 
I am doing well though. Considering all things I could not be doing better at this time of my life, even if it is a shit life it is a life. Who knows where I will be in a year, or even a month. Could get a lot better or worse.

If my buddy bails on the beach today Ima be pissed...this cali hippie blondie yogi fuxk born in the wrong era and area of the planet is all ready to hit the waters.

Switched to hash and I am getting super lit. Way more heady of a high than any weed I've been smoking. Also, my throat was starting to hurt from all the tokes but this has is creamy to smoke. I can hit like .3 and hold it in easy which is a lot harder to do with pot, especially multiple times in a row. I found a strain that is really amazing for me and really, what better time of my life than now than to get into a blondie hash phase. Can't stop making fun of myself for that shit. S
omeone said some people put way too much effort into their appearance, they were talking about me I was listening to them, it was condescending, and I was kinda laughing as they look like college boys who think they are punks cause they work at a dispensary. I take pride in my appearance. Once I talked to them they shut the fuck up since I am a weed expert as well both my past girlfriends said I can be really intimidating which is one thing about me that I like. Since I know I can defend myself I want to get into a martial art real bad once my connective tissue strengthens and core (all the way around) and I don't have so much pain.
 
Everybody is sounding so much better! You all are doing so good! I am proud!

So proud of you ShroomySatori! Made me smile to hear you being intimidating and sticking up for yourself. You go my brother!
Pride in your appearance is an awesome thing! Nothing to be ashamed of there.
Also, thanks for the post you deleted, I saw that and it gave me some information I needed that helped me. I appreciate you so much.
You are right about one of the hardest parts about this is others not understanding and it being hard to communicate the problems. I find that too and yeah, I never knew you could feel such pain in your spine. I actually get electric shock problems and paralysis of the arms, it feels like my spine short circuits or is not getting the connection right at times. Sucks.

I'm doing okay. No longer in danger of dying from diarrhea. Damn that sucked! Took 8 loperamide in the morning and 8 in the evening yesterday and today and have been able to sleep and feel much better. I made it through Mother's Day like a champ and actually enjoyed myself again. So nice to be having some enjoyment and fun in life again rather than just trying to get through everything.

Hope you made it through Squeaky and managed to have some fun too.
 
P0kemama said:
Thank you Squeaky, for the nice Mother's Day wish! I am going to my son's, who loves to cook, and his is making dinner. So, I get to spend the day with the dogs I have taken care of for the past few years. I rarely get to see them because of work, so this should be a good day.
It sounds like everyone here is working very hard on kicking or reducing the use of their drugs... I know how hard it is so kudos to you all!!
As long as we keep on trying, no matter how many times we backpedal eventually we are successful.
Why??? Because we are stronger than our addiction... sometimes it feels like we aren't, that is the nature of this shit, but we really are stronger than any habit we have and so continuing to strive towards our goals is the only way to do it.. and you are all showing so much persistence and courage.... sending light and love!
Click to expand...

Thank you Pokemama!! Sending love and light right back to ya! ❤️
 
Hi Painful One we'll see how things go. I am super lit right now, switching to hash and not smoking weed has been great. I am loving it in fact, of course, I am getting the blond coloured hash. They didn't have platinum blond.

I can smoke 300mg now of this hash and get giggle fits. I was smoking grams of weed and eventually it started to burn my throat but I find hash incredibly smooth and creamy deliciousness. The medical benefits are somehow better too. There are less side effects, I guess from the chemical makeup of it and there being less plant material and more dope. It's just different too, was getting so bored of weed.

I have my moments but yeah like today I woke before sunrise was busy by 8am and only got home to rest at 11pm. I think a one hour lunch I am keeping super busy though. Tomorrow will be the same I really hope I get a full time job soon though it will do a lot for me.

I notice the damage to my nose a bit now. It's to be expected after so many years. It's a little irritating and dry. Another consequence, I suppose many before me died.

Crazy to think that at this time last year, this very month I had shot H a few times. I remember the five times distinctly. I figured I was going to die. I learned how to do it myself out of secrecy. I hit my first few times using a third of the dose and getting much further from withdrawals for longer. In particular I remember the blood when it registers. I wouldn't call that a trigger because I am sort of grossed out I did that to my veins but I saw the cup I used to use for cold water extractions and made the connection to percocets right away, started scheming a bit you know, the pain clinic pops up then it's just like shut the fuck up I suffered so much you stupid drug I'm so done with this shit it's a damn shame I'm having so much trouble with the benzos a life without them is unimaginable it sucks. I'm honestly too fucked up at this point I should enjoy my time while I'm here.
 
I lived through Mother?s Day. But I am out of my pills now. Gonna suck for 3 days. I?m writing a poem about my experiences with oxycodone. Its called:
How the fuck did I run out of pills again....

Shroomi- I guess the Asthon method addresses people who have severe withdrawals from benzos and/or need to do it without affecting their day to day life at all. It outlines an extremely gradual transition to Valium and a tapering plan that goes really slow. A medium habit can take 6 months to a year.
I can see how a person might need that, but it certainly is not for me. I would rather jump off fast. Cold turkey is best if possible. Im down to 2mg / day of Ativan. Hope to drop to 1 mg after I get refilled on oxy.
 
PainfulOne- It sounds like Loperamide helped. That?s great. I took 30 mg last night and another 30 mg this morning. I had my last 30 mg oxy this morning too. I know from experience that I would be really miserable right now if I didnt start lope yesterday. My body feels off, but I have very little of the horrible body aches and scrambled brains that I get in wd. I kept 1/2 a pill for my Dr appt on Friday.
 
Your post cracked me up Squeaky! I love your poem! "How the fuck did I run out of pills again" indeed!!!ROFL!!
Good thing we are keeping a sense of humor about all this huh? Last time I was puking down, I was cracking up at the same time! Haha! Maybe I have finally lost it. I find it helps to laugh at it! Makes it not so powerful and takes the fear away.

Nice job on making it through Mother's Day. At least you just have three days to go. I have to make it until next Thursday but I still have 9 pills left to help. Getting the loperamide built up in your system before you hit withdrawal is definitely the trick to it. Still not comfortable but not complete hell either. At least makes it so you can still function and are not on the bathroom floor writhing in pain and sickness. Thank God for that!

Look how far you have come Shroomy! I think you will be working soon and enjoying that. I'm so happy that we all have been a lot more active. Keep up the good work my friends!
 
I messed up. I'm starting from scratch. I feel like giving up but I'm not sure how my kids would cope if I was gone. I think they'd be okay after a couple of months. I have a H problem combined with a crack issue. My main issue is the heroin. I have 24 Dihydrocodeine tablets. Does anyone have any ideas on how I should proceed? I was thinking about taking 6 on the first day (3+3 late afternoon), then 5 on the second day etc until I get to 1 and stop from there. I've really let myself down. Thanks for your help.
 
I pretty much just switched over to valium like my friend said then I pretty much know I won't have a seizure. It will be an edgy transition for a bit I'm not quitting those anytime soon nor do I feel the need to and I don't think I can as that part of my brain is pretty dead.

A yogi went out of her way to help me today no point explaining but she was wonderfully kind for no apparent reason. It was definitely a huge inconvenience for her I don't know I actually really like her and that showed me a lot about her character as it was a completely selfless act she doesn't know me yet. She's mysterious and chill. Not sure where I am going with this I guess I just like someone and don't know what to do next time. I am so confused and clueless about that it just sucks.

Yo if you're into H you are in for a world of hell no matter what path you choose from here. I'd get some benzos for the shorter term hell and start regaining your natural vitality it takes years. If you are looking at cold turkey you'll probably be too fucked up and weak to desire dope. Make sure to keep hydrated that is important but you won't have the strength to make yourself a cup of tea if you have any sort of long term habit with H.
 
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