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Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

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Ash,
That is awesome you speak fluent French.
My daughter does as well.
She was offered a scholarship due to her fluency in French.
It helped with the college costs! :)

That is a great idea Shroomy!
Keeping our minds busy and on other things is very helpful.
Distraction is a good technique!

Great job you guys! I am proud!
❤️
 
I am really excited about learning and yeah that is awesome. I can definitely learn it and I think that would help me overall. I am also very good at writing Chinese symbols but that can wait.

I will be in a pretty good position for the holidays, but that does not mean I should slack or the new year will be off to a slow start and more supply does not = higher dose. I have to distract myself with these things that are both constructive and fun.

I hope your pain is not too bad today. I am exhausted and sleep deprivation is taking its toll. I got really lucky making that grab early today because it means that I can sleep sound and early later on. It had to be done because of the holidays people are with family and stuff so I was extremely nervous just trying to remain chill and everything worked out. I say a lot of prayers. Just a couple hours until my taper dose but this is when the interdose withdrawals start (well about an hour ago). I am trying to train myself to remain active during these times, even if it is just reading something on french wiki. I really think that is a good idea because I need to work on my memory skills too and I believe that my memory will improve by using it more and a second language is a serious commitment to learn. It's something I'd really like to see myself accomplish.
 
Thank you Shroomy.
I'm feeling a lot better than yesterday. Much better.
I have been able to eat and got some sleep.

I am so glad we both have our supplies through the holidays! I was worried for both of us. I said a lot of prayers too!
I'm so grateful things worked out for both of us!
Our families are hard enough for us to deal with without being in pain and withdrawal.
That would have been a nightmare.

But yeah, you are right, we must use our medication very wisely and stick to our scheduled amount.
I am making sure I do that. I am having a family member give me my daily dosage so I don't mess it up again!
I absolutely cannot handle the withdrawal anymore. I need to keep stable and with the new ROA I have been using, I can get by with what I have and I feel better this way. That is working for me.

It is easier to focus on other things when my pain is being controlled better.

So glad we are going to have good holidays this year!

I hope everyone gets their situations worked out and we are all alright through the holidays!
 
That is good, we are both feeling better today. I was a little concerned about you. I was worried about myself in the sense that I could have run out of benzos on Christmas or the eve. I have been caught up with so much stuff I didn't think my friend might be leaving for a while and lucked out almost precisely when the horoscope foretold.

Yeah that is true, I wouldd like to catch up with my brother as well. If I continue the way I am, he is going to distance himself from me and he hasn't yet. I have been the one in hiding. At least I have good strains and xanax and this is like the first month ever I used my valium as prescribed in a long time. It will have started to accumulate by now and help me out.

I can't handle the instability anymore as well. It is too much. I need to get my anxiety sorted out somehow or just learn to live with it, and ever since I smoke a bit less pot my spine hurts like hell. I want CBD oil and also a 20% CBD strain, but can't afford it. Glad your pain is better managed.

Was having interdose withdrawals so got up and did an hour and a half of cleaning and organizing. Feel okay. Really tired at the moment and I guess there is time to catch up on rest. Have been too messed up so far to enjoy the holidays but I hope to.
 
I ended up sleeping for around 4 hours. All evening, and waking up in the night now. This is still a common thing to happen and it has more to do with getting stable with the anxiety meds. I am especially surprised and happy that there is val left in the bottle. Had taken all 30 in 3 days before but it doesn't work like that, it is meant to build up to a steady state and help reduce the xanax. That is what I am working on just getting stable, taking regular doses at regular intervals and getting used to lower ones. I just had some interdose withdrawal when I woke up but it wasn't bad.
It is Friday night well almost Saturday morning now and I have a couple fresh coffees in me, was smoking bong for like 30 min when I woke up cause I hadn't much all day except before my nap, so stoned, just took my taper dose so I am in an upbeat mood at a nice time. It is raining out here. My friend thought it was nice weather I don't think it is. I like the cold and the snow no in between that and beach weather for me. Except autumn and halloween are awesome.
Well I am stocked for the holidays, I remember I always used to get really high on the holidays. This ritual began with like 30 8mg dilaudid pills when I had no tolerance. I remember withdrawing going back to the percs and a girl noticed at school and was like are you okay or sick or something. But... this was 6 months of daily use in and it still wasn't painful. The withdrawal I mean. My back definitely was. But even if I stayed up all night tossing and turning, and went to school feeling out of it and sick, it lasted 3 days and generally wasn't that bad at all. A couple years later my oxy withdrawals were horrid, but still not that painful they just took me out and I had all the symptoms.
It was like 4 or 5 years in and when H became the only thing that the withdrawal became torture. It is good to remind myself of this. I would be entirely bedridden and subject to the torture of that fucking agony. All I can say is that shit is like burning alive. Like burning on the stake in the comfort of your home and bed. It did not last 5 days. It lasted more like a 3 weeks to a month before I could even begin to make sense of things. I am still confused and learning how to live again without that extra help. It is so damn hard. I wish sometimes that I had a perc like if I took half a percocet right now I'd get crazy motivated, my back wouldn't hurt, I'd run some errands and probably eat, and do something creative whether it was with a cover letter or writing or whatever it is. I loved the stuff, until it turned on me. Those withdrawals. That is why it had to be cold turkey for me. One memory of that torture. But I think it messed my head up because I've been more emotionally dull that ever before since I stopped unless you count occasional volatility I don't. Although recently meeting a girl was nice and a good sign I think cause yeah that is not easy to do for a doper burnout with chronic pain and panic attacks. Well I better have another bong toke. All I've smoked is indica that kush. I've got a super giggly sativa I am going to hit now. May as well. I wonder if I relapsed how bad it would be. I'd for sure OD like for sure. I'm used to railing lines of real pure H the size of normal-ish coke ones (H is way stronger) and one of those right now would kill me and be so easy to do it would happen well in a sniff and I'd be gone in 15 minutes. That is another thing I think about because I know I wouldn't want to start with just a little bit I have an ingrained pattern of use this is why tolerance comes back rapidly, it is to protect the body from respiratory depression once it gets really high (tolerance). Sort of, I am baked and just woke up at 10pm haha.
 
Painful One said:
Thanks D.J. Yeah it is torture! Fuck! It never ends either! I barely get feeling better and start to make strides forward and bam! Something always happens to mess me up. My body is just falling apart or something.
The thing is that it doesn't show on the outside. I still look really good so I think the doctors always underestimate how bad this is.
I can handle a lot of pain too. I don't think they realize just how much pain I suffer with.

Having chronic pain too just doesn't help because that is where you have had so much pain that your brain signal is stuck on sending max pain signals even when there is no injury so that always makes them think, well it is just from the chronic pain.
What a hard situation. You never know what is really going on.

So you have been two days without any benzo's and that is when these demonic nightmares started. Yeah, I remember thinking there was some kind of demon in my dining room and I was smelling a smell of rotten flesh in that room when I went through benzo withdrawal. It makes you hallucinate and is hardcore for about four days. I was feeling better by day 5.

I have heard that the zopiclone can kind of substitute for benzo's. It is close to a benzo. I have heard people on here talk about that medication helping the benzo withdrawal. You might want to try that.

Hang in there! ❤️
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Well it's going on 4am, after taking plenty of oxy I still can't fucking sleep. Lid down at 2:30 and had. An hour long nod, snapped out of it to get some water and am wide awake AGAIN. Jesus Christ will it ever end?

On the plus side though I'm feeling pretty great and worry free.

And yeah the nightmares started as soon as the benzos left my system and they've been happening every time I manage to fall asleep. It's fucking absurd how real it is but I always seem to know that I'm only dreaming and I don't wake up in a panic like you would expect. It's just extremely disturbing.
 
I'm sorry D.J. That is horrible to go through.
You should start feeling better late on day 4. So not too much longer.
(At least that is how it was for me but I wasn't on the Valium for that long, it was a high dosage though- 30 mg a day)
You can get your prescription soon if you decide to do that.
You may just be feeling a lot better by then and decide not to pick it up. Who knows.
Just have to see how things go. I do hope you feel better soon and are able to get some sleep very soon.
Are you able to get your refill before Christmas? I hope so.

I hope Squeaky is good

ShroomySatori- you sound good. I am glad you are stocked up and are still sticking with your dosage schedule.
I definitely am too! We just cannot go through those horrid withdrawals anymore! It has gotten to the point where they are so SEVERE! Like you were saying, I used to be able to still function even in withdrawal. I didn't feel good and it sucked but I did not get so sick I can't get out of bed and the pain! OMG! It feels like organ failure now. I guess over time, the withdrawal becomes actually life threatening. I am just realizing that my very life is dependent on the morphine now.

That is a scary thought. I would actually die a very painful and horrific death if I had to go without it now!
I'm really glad I didn't accept the additional pain medication when I was offered it.
Holy Jesus! I sure don't want to add to this dependence! I can't imagine the withdrawal could even get any worse than it is now without my regular dosage but I guess it could. It sure has!! I'm terrified of the withdrawal now. Fucking terrified.
 
Yeah even if you keep the dose and everything the same, over time the withdrawal symptoms can worsen. I think going through it so many times too wore me out. Eventually it was just insane. Nothing whatsoever like it was originally and it kept progressing. For example the extreme withdrawal nerve pain in my upper arms that feels like it is searing my bones could spread to other parts of my body making me wish it was still the miserable way it was before.

When the level of dependency is this high like with myself and xanax it is indeed frightening sometimes too. This one would put me in the hospital cold turkey and I'd be lucky to live. I wish that I never took any of this stuff, I just don't feel like myself the same. I feel like I lost a lot of my personality and that I got really depressed this year. A different sort of depression than I am used to. I guess just anhedonia it's so hard for me to do anything productive or enjoy basic things.

It has been almost a year, my body is physically stronger but my mind is still pretty feeble and weak. Getting used to running without opiates which just sucks. It hasn't been fun. I can't wait until I'm at least into the second year of this. Today for no reason it seems, I am completely exhausted.
 
Im still kickin.... F the holidays. December 26th has always been my favorite day of the year. Everyone is so stressed out, hurried, and broke. The day AFTER Christmas seems to be like a huge dark cloud has been lifted and the sun finally shines again.
 
on about 2 week suboxone detox tapering from over heroin

I am getting off of heroin as we speak. I took my last shot around 9:30. Was wondering if a 2 week taper from suboxone would work with minimal discomfort? Would I have withdrawal symptoms for a long time after I am off the subs or would it be relatively painless since I had only been on the subs for a short time? I have some benzos to use in between. I know some rehabs use this method so I?m hoping it can work. I was a heavy iv heroin user. I needed I may be able to get more subs through the black market or a pay doctor. Any thoughts? Pls help this is giving me s panick attack. I am scheduled to start the subs later tonight. I am very scared on what is to come since I have never really used subs before
 
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Brando4194 said:
I am getting off of heroin as we speak. I took my last shot around 9:30. Was wondering if a 2 week taper from suboxone would work with minimal discomfort? Would I have withdrawal symptoms for a long time after I am off the subs or would it be relatively painless since I had only been on the subs for a short time? I have some benzos to use in between. I know some rehabs use this method so I?m hoping it can work. I was a heavy iv heroin user. I needed I may be able to get more subs through the black market or a pay doctor. Any thoughts? Pls help this is giving me s panick attack. I am scheduled to start the subs later tonight. I am very scared on what is to come since I have never really used subs before
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Depends how long you were on heroin and how high of a dosage. Don't expect to feel anything from the suboxone either. The psychological withdrawal may still be there. 2 weeks isn't that long for a taper, i was on 30mg a day of valium for the better part of 3 years and my taper was 4 months and still withdrawals. However benzos and opioids are different.

For reference my buddy was on 220+ mg of oxy a day and when they put him on a taper to methadone they done it very very slowly. I think it was 6+ weeks.

I'm no doctor so I can't really give out medical advise but I would err on the side of caution and take maybe 6 weeks to taper subs if not longer. A two week taper would be rough I would imagine. Better than cold turkey however.
 
Painful One said:
I'm sorry D.J. That is horrible to go through.
You should start feeling better late on day 4. So not too much longer.
(At least that is how it was for me but I wasn't on the Valium for that long, it was a high dosage though- 30 mg a day)
You can get your prescription soon if you decide to do that.
You may just be feeling a lot better by then and decide not to pick it up. Who knows.
Just have to see how things go. I do hope you feel better soon and are able to get some sleep very soon.
Are you able to get your refill before Christmas? I hope so.

I hope Squeaky is good

ShroomySatori- you sound good. I am glad you are stocked up and are still sticking with your dosage schedule.
I definitely am too! We just cannot go through those horrid withdrawals anymore! It has gotten to the point where they are so SEVERE! Like you were saying, I used to be able to still function even in withdrawal. I didn't feel good and it sucked but I did not get so sick I can't get out of bed and the pain! OMG! It feels like organ failure now. I guess over time, the withdrawal becomes actually life threatening. I am just realizing that my very life is dependent on the morphine now.

That is a scary thought. I would actually die a very painful and horrific death if I had to go without it now!
I'm really glad I didn't accept the additional pain medication when I was offered it.
Holy Jesus! I sure don't want to add to this dependence! I can't imagine the withdrawal could even get any worse than it is now without my regular dosage but I guess it could. It sure has!! I'm terrified of the withdrawal now. Fucking terrified.
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And nope! No benzos til after Christmas (26th)! Can you say pissed. But it's all good I'm finally starting to sleep again with a little help from zopiclone and I'm staving off the boredom and nerve pain with oxy. Starting to smoke a bit of weed again because I'm not having panic attacks every time I take a puff anymore.

All in all it's goin better than I expected it to. Might fill these last two refills (15x10mg and the following month 10x10mg) and just keep them around for emergency purposes. I can't imagine kicking this habit cold turkey at my peak use I would probably have been put in the hospital.
 
Squeaky said:
Im still kickin.... F the holidays. December 26th has always been my favorite day of the year. Everyone is so stressed out, hurried, and broke. The day AFTER Christmas seems to be like a huge dark cloud has been lifted and the sun finally shines again.
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Yes squeaky fuck the holidays. My least favourite time of year. It's stressful, depressing and pointless. I'm deep enough in debt without having to spend all my money in shit for other people.
 
Brando- think of Subs like a new girlfriend. How long would it take you to get over the old one, and how long would it take you to get hooked on the new one(and then need time to get over her)?
Two weeks is not really long enough to become physically dependent on subs, but it should be enough time to get past the worst of the heroin wds. The lingering wds will be psychological, depression insomnia etc.
Think of it like this- you have 14 days to come up with a plan for your mental well being. The more stuff you do that involves exercise, sunshine, fresh air, etc- the happier you will be and the better you will sleep. Get up every morning and take a hot shower. Have a solid breakfast. Get dressed and get out of the house. Spend the day working on your car, or go to the beach, or bury yourself in schoolwork. ANYTHING but laying in bed feeling sorry for yourself.
Give yourself two to three days for your body to make the transition from H to Subs. Its not great, but its better than cold turkey. After three days just start filling your time with as much stuff as you can and the days will fly past. Dont buy organic, but eat good food. Stay away from soda and fast food.
STAY AWAY FROM YOUR OLD FRIENDS WHO STULL USE OR SELL ANYTHING. The first two weeks are filled with remembering how nice life was when you didnt hate everything. If you are around anyone who is using you will go back to it. This is why rehab is always at least 2 weeks.
Get Netflix, or Hulu. You will want something to watch for hours. Netflix gives the first month for free.
Its not going to be that awful. I am 7 days into Loperamide off from 300mg per day of oxy. Its about the same as Subs or methadone. Its not fun, but its liveable.
 
Remember- blame your mess on the flu. Its amazing how well that works and you can do it over and over for weeks without question. Sometimes the hardest part of wds is family, and they will part the Red Sea for you if you just say its the flu.
 
I can't say fuck the holidays. Can you Painful One? But I can say, screw my xan guys leaving me hanging heading home with no notice. At least I intuitively must have known in advance as I have a solid stock. There will be no worry about benzos this Christmas; that being said, I am in benzo wd at the moment. I have to be really careful with them because I can't get them right now. That is my sole caveat with the holidays, but I always ended up really high for them when I was using. Seemed like there was better shit to hurt myself with around that time of year. Anyways. I am like 10 days away from being a year clean of the opiates at least and this benzo taper is what it is.

I have had a wonderful morning and day. I woke up at 2am though, slept so much yesterday, stayed up all night, I guess benzo wd and I was getting ready for work today which was a crazy experience. Almost mystical. I did a really intense yoga class and killed it. I had so much awareness, and held Crow for a long time a bunch of times. Actually the dude was so nice, it was so chill cause it was three guys working that is rare it was so damn chill. And I requested the Crow and the dude assimilated it into the class flawlessly it was amazing. I worked my ass off too and at one point dude was facing me cause he moves around the room and I was like following his advanced movements it was so damn chill. I am fucking exhausted now though! And there was a really nice girl who for some reason I kept bumping into and she offered to help me and was really nice about it and actually did a lot for nothing but chatting with me it was so damn chill. I dropped to 160 from 185 recently most of it muscle wasting but I must still look good lol.

Ugh though I had a kink in one of my traps muscles before going, I am going to be feeling this for a few days. It got me going though, it's so important to be disciplined and have stuff to do like that. I like having a structured life and right now I don't but I like knowing what I am doing at least for some of the day or have plans for the future or anything at all but opiates took all of that away from me it's like starting over they couldn't take away my education though.
 
Good to hear from you Squeaky!
I'm glad you are still alive and kicking.
Sorry you are having to rely on loperamide for a few. Thank God for the loperamide at times though.
It at least makes it possible to make it for a few days in between prescriptions.

I think I'm going to order some Kratom to have on hand for emergency purposes.
I don't ever want to go through what I did the other day again! I need to have an emergency backup plan.

I'm doing well with keeping to my prescription dosage again and I don't plan on fucking that up again but you just never know.

ShroomySatori- Congratulations of ten days away from an entire YEAR off opiates!!!! That is amazing my friend and I'm so proud of you! You really have come along way! I know sometimes you don't feel like you have accomplished anything this last year but you most certainly have! You really are doing so much better.

I can't really say "fuck the holidays" but they do stress me out. I could do without the gift giving. I don't have money for that right now. I wish my family was more cool and loving with one another instead of hurting feeling's and being so nit-picking but we did manage to have a good time together on Thanksgiving so I am hoping Chistmas won't be too bad. Maybe we can manage to have some fun again. I hope so. I do love all the Christmas lights
 
Thank you so much man. I will start this tomorrow. Unfortunately, I woke up this morning and felt fine. So there was no way I was going to take any suboxone. Then my buyers started hitting me up, even theough I told them i was quitting, and I caved in. So tomorrow is the reset.
Absolutely, on the flu thing ? I have not told anyone in my family that I shoot dope. I don?t have the heart for that. It would break their heart
 
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I don?t have enough suboxone for 6+ weeks so the only way that is an option is to buy some either off of the streets or a pay dr. I just lost my job so I can?t really afford that unless I absolutely have to. My rent and bills aren?tstopping just cause I have to kick dope and find a new job. I am still absolutely dreading this. I just pray that by Friday for my job interview I feel good enough to show up and get the job.
 
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You can do it Brando!!!

Good for you, really proud of you, try to be kind and patient with yourself. Wd's won't last forever. Squeaks flu idea is a good one.

We are all here for you! You got this!!!

Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.


Brando4194 said:
Thank you so much man. I will start this tomorrow. Unfortunately, I woke up this morning and felt fine. So there was no way I was going to take any suboxone. Then my buyers started hitting me up, even theough I told them i was quitting, and I caved in. So tomorrow is the reset.
Absolutely, on the flu thing  I have not told anyone in my family that I shoot dope. I don?t have the heart for that. It would break their heart
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