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The Suicide Support Thread

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just passing by the days before my death seems so gloomy i'm trying to find another way of looking at it but that is exactly what i'm doing i don't want to live and i'm just letting time pass until my dad and g pa die so i can do the same and not feel bad about it
 
if I wasn't so afraid of fucking up I would relish in the life draining from this wasted piece of flesh....
oh I dream of my blood EVERY WHERE!!!
 
I have tried so, so hard to end it like this and have always ended up in a frenzy of tears and sweat wishing I had a GUN,
or maybe the balls to open my own throat, or throw myself from the highest point I could reach but alas,
I am a COWARD....
 
I don't think you are a coward. I think there is just as strong a part of you that doesn't want to die as the part that does. The part of you that does not want to die knows that as long as there is breath there is a space for the will. We are born with the will to live deep in our minds and in our bodies. Wanting to die is wanting life to change and feeling hopeless that it can. Circumstances can be horrible, no doubt about it, but hope has a way of fighting to live on in us even when we feel we have none. Can you break your hopelessness into small pieces and tackle just one? Staying stuck between life and death--immobilized feels truly horrible.<3
 
nothing~nothing said:
I have tried so, so hard to end it like this and have always ended up in a frenzy of tears and sweat wishing I had a GUN,
or maybe the balls to open my own throat, or throw myself from the highest point I could reach but alas,
I am a COWARD....
Click to expand...

Hang on man. We all have finite time here. Life is not just a random occurance it is well defined physics/chemistry that is far too complex to explain how the universe ca me into existence. Some people say big bang but what caused the bang and how did the collection of matter/energy all come into existence?

If you're alive it's because your hourglass hasn't run out. When it's your time to go it's gonna happen. I should have died a few times now, a few miracles and things are getting better. Others who did of much less died from much less.

Questioning why things are the way they are is pointless and you can't dwell on thw present just keep trying to improve your future and eventually either things will get better or your hourglass of life will run out. That hourglass is there in it's impossible to know how much sand is left in it.

For me I felt like a coward because I had a gun but I kept hanging on after losing my apartment, fiancee ofd 4 years, my 5 year old dog died and 7 months of unemployment and no income I finally have a job I love. So hang on and live everyday like it's your last !

People blow their brains out all the time and end up vegetables. Some die from wounds that aren't even that bad.

When it's your time you're going to die, if not you simply won't work up the courage to take self-lethal action and if you do wnd it's really not your time you could end up a vegetable.
 
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im just the random....
not,NOT,NOT a TOMATO!!!!

just very sad inside

I want to poof gone disappear?
possibly like Houdinie .....
like I said,
I'm a coward because im AFRAID of turning out a squash, tomato pear thing,
all stuffed with wires and tubes and half machine and shit....

I just wish my dad had used a condom...
 
mrflowers00 said:
i'm so depressed but i get my dexedrine soon so that should boost morale anything to make the dilaudid wd depression lift
Click to expand...

dude...
I find that the dilaudid thing, for me at least is all about ROA.
depression is a tricky thing but im sure you will find killing it all away with uppers like Dexedrine well it is what it is....
just a replacement.
that is how I got to the dark icky place im in now

just try to smile and try to remember tomorrow WILL come.

I hate my life so much because the hole is sooooooo deep now that the only light in my life will surely flicker and fade soon!
I just wish I could be happy again....
 
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Fuck!!!!
I am so torn between life and death.
on one side of this coin is the light and joy in my life,
my daughters. 7 weeks and 2 years old....
on the other side is a tsunami of pain and self judgment that seems insurmountable .
ditching out on my children is not an option, in any way shape or form for me.
none of this is there fault and I know first hand what its like growing up with out parents.
I also feel like my staying around as it were will only inflict more damage,
possibly terrible damage and that is not how im down to get down....

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why am I so god damn broken!?
it seems like no matter how hard I try to be the person I feel I should be able to be,....
aahhhh.....
my whole life I just fucked everything up and im soooooooo scared that this will be true in my being a good father.

so what dose this wast time and space do?
killing myself would surly be fucking that up, but my continuing the fight might achieve the same as well....

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im a cuter and my oldest sees the cuts on my legs and asks,
"Dady, owie!?" and trys to kiss it better.....

what the fuck is wrong with me!?
why cant I just be a good person?
my little girls deserve so much better than me and it dose not feel fair that they are stuck with a piece of shit like me....

im so depressed and confused and the pressure just keeps building and I am becoming afraid that I may snap and hurt my family......

anybody. please help!
 
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