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The Suicide Support Thread

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thenightwatch said:
idk why exactly, but this time of year statistically has a lot of suicides.

stay strong guys.
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I think it has to do with seasonal depression/climate changes. I think if everyone lived closer to the equator, this tendency wouldn't be nearly as bad.

In fact, it's known that there are higher rates of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) in areas that are colder during the winters, and virtually non-existent in areas closer to the equator.

For this reason, I am glad to have moved to Los Angeles. %)
 
Oh god I don't think I can do this anymore. It hurts so much physically and mentally. I hope these shitty prescriptions hit in soon, waking up crying not being able to move so late sucks.. I hate this. The only reason I'm here is for other people. Was supposed to have xmas eve today with my friends, cancelled it. Supposed to go back to London to be with family, cancelled that. They said they weren't surprised but my mum's disappointed. :(

At least being alone I don't have to put my poisonous thoughts on to others. I half wish I make it through today and tomorrow.

I hope all you Bluelighters have a good doomsday (sorry xmas), and a good 2013. You've been so helpful.
 
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Been thinking about how long I wish to live a great deal lately - I mean, I'm the one with the control with regards to how long I want to ay?

Recent events have made me think it might be sooner rather than later.
Got a plan (had one for ages actually) but I just don't want to fail as it'd be yet another head-upon-desk-slamming situation.
Couldn't face waking up in a fuckin hospital on drips etc.

Don't want any "Oh please don't!" / "Talk to someone!" / "Sleep on it you'll feel different tomorrow" / "Think of those you'll leave behind" stuff.
It's purely just a matter of when it will take place. Could be weeks, months, years... Dunno... Feeling rather drawn toward the earlier time-frames at the moment though.

Anyway... blah blah blah
 
I surely won't feed you a spiel bc I can relate.. Pm me if u want to trade stories.. My <3 goes out 2 you, you're not alone my friend.
 
Suicide attempt . Cops assualted me I'm the hospital. . Tied me down. Restrained me to a hospital. . Sectioned to a psych Ward.
 
^ I'm with ya tacky. I've been practicing the ASVAB test. I am actually very intelligent and the USAF is ready to accept me right now. But paradoxically I can't find a regular job that doesn't require the total life dedication the military requires when you sign on.

I'm really sad and scared of the future too. I would never join the military if for no other reason than to provide for myself.

I've been planning the next freeze to take some valium, hydrocodone, drink a few beers and sleep outside. Ironically, tonight's the first freeze in awhile, and the thermometer currently reads 30 degrees Fahrenheit (and dropping to 28 this morning), and I seem to have held on to some kind of hope things are going to get better, despite me not eating much at all in the last 30 hours (maybe 75-100 calories), coming off amphetamines (muscles low on energy, no fat reserves = fast hypothermia, 43 hours straight without sleep). My fingers are numb from cold/low energy as I type this INSIDE! Fridge loaded with beer, valium, hydrocodone by my side. I'm choosing to survive :\

I got a revolver and hollow points I keep for personal protection, on the off-chance my life is threatened, but I wouldn't want to put an EMS worker or my family through the trauma of seeing my blown off head. I've already made enough messes for others to clean, that's one final mess I would like to avoid. I can't leave the earth knowing I selfishly left a bloody corpse for someone else to clean. And I don't want my family to think I intentionally killed myself either, because somehow I feel that would hurt them worse than just losing me :( That's what keeps me from just downing a lot of pills with a couple drinks :(

I've got an 'exit strategy' worked out, but I can only make it look semi-accidental during really cold weather :( It seems perfect in my mind. Just fall asleep not feeling the cold and not wake up. Everyone thinks it's just a freak accident. No mess, no smelly corpse in the cold.
 
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ForEverAfter said:
Suicide attempt . Cops assualted me I'm the hospital. . Tied me down. Restrained me to a hospital. . Sectioned to a psych Ward.
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What happened man? If you want to PM me instead of posting it here I understand. And if you don't want to talk about it too that's ok, but I am really concerned. I'm really sorry to hear you are suffering right now.. just know you are a strong person and you can get through this.

severely etarded said:
^ I'm with ya tacky. I've been practicing the ASVAB test. I am actually very intelligent and the USAF is ready to accept me right now. But paradoxically I can't find a regular job that doesn't require the total life dedication the military requires when you sign on.

I'm really sad and scared of the future too. I would never join the military if for no other reason than to provide for myself.
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Have you considered moving to find work? This is what I did, and I have a job now. :)
 
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Captain.Heroin said:
Have you considered moving to find work? This is what I did, and I have a job now. :)
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Man I've wanted to GTFO of TX for awhile now. It's so damn expensive to move out of here. Unless you live in El Paso, getting out of TX is hundreds of miles away! (El Paso is a few hundred miles from here, in fact they go on Mountain time there 8o). And then everything else is another few hundred miles away minimum from there (except for Mexico - no thanks don't feel like being shot or kidnapped! :\), holy sheez that's a big move. So many "what if's" to consider. Like what if the job doesn't work out as planned, then I have to take all my crap BACK to Texas.

Probably the ONLY pro I can see aside from the obvious benefits to joining the armed forces is KNOWING I'm getting out of this state!! :(
 
severely etarded said:
Man I've wanted to GTFO of TX for awhile now. It's so damn expensive to move out of here. Unless you live in El Paso, getting out of TX is hundreds of miles away! (El Paso is a few hundred miles from here, in fact they go on Mountain time there 8o). And then everything else is another few hundred miles away minimum from there (except for Mexico - no thanks don't feel like being shot or kidnapped! :\), holy sheez that's a big move. So many "what if's" to consider. Like what if the job doesn't work out as planned, then I have to take all my crap BACK to Texas.

Probably the ONLY pro I can see aside from the obvious benefits to joining the armed forces is KNOWING I'm getting out of this state!! :(
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I see what you mean. When I moved, I had to go from the middle of Virginia to Los Angeles, which is well over 2,600 miles. It is a lot of hard work but is very rewarding if you choose to go through with it.

Signing up for the services isn't a bad decision either since it would mean you would have some form of income, it's just something I know I wouldn't do personally.

Best of luck man! :)
 
Dang, sorry every1 is feeling so blue today.. Holidays are good for making depression worse :( pm me any1..
 
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