yoUr bLiSS
Bluelighter
Part 1
It all began 12 years ago. I was a freshman in highschool. We both were. He was the boy I crushed on from afar. I even stole his picture from yearbook. Sophmore year he was in my English class. He then became aware of my existence. We flirted like mad. I used to catch him staring at me quite often. He would always hold my gaze, intently. It left me flustered. For a fleeting moment, my Molly Ringwald dreams almost came true. He called me once. We talked easily. We were supposed to go out sometime. The very next day she followed him into our class, they were holding hands. She hugged him and literally bounced out of the room. My heart sunk. What was I even thinking? It was so typical really. So typical it seems fake. Captain of the cheerleading squad going out with the hottest guy in our class. Of course he was the super jock who would go on to be prom prince and all the highschool bullshit I never cared for. And then there was me. The shy girl in the corner. Certainly not of "popular" status. In fact all of the so-called popular girls always hated me. Junior year came and went. Once again we had a class.The perfect couple was still together though he never stopped flirting, nor did he stop staring. Senior year and we had no classes together. We didn't talk much without the protective bubble of the classroom. Yet he still stared from afar. Across the quad, passing classes, in the parking lot. Anytime our paths crossed he stared. There was something in that stare...in those eyes. Something genuine. We did have one moment that year. The single most awful night of my teenage years was the Senior Prom. The one and only dance I ever went to. He saw me sitting alone. Sitting alone on the edge of the bus seat. I'd spent the entire night holding back tears and pretending to have a good time. That is a whole story in it's own though. No relation to him. He came up and sat across from me. "You look sad." he simply stated with concern in his eyes. Those eyes pierced to my very core. I could not hide my sadness from him. I smiled weakly and shrugged my shoulders. Tears filled my eyes, yet they did not spill out. He did not push the issue. "You look beautiful. That's why I came over here. I've been wanting to tell you how beautiful you look all night." He held my hand and my gaze for a seemingly eternal moment. Then he was gone. Gone back to her. Those 30 seconds or so made everything all worth it. Graduation came and went. I managed to snag hiim for a farewell picture. That Christmas he called. It was rather strange and unpredictable. It was Christmas day just as we were about to say grace. My new boyfriend was over. I had to cut him short. That phone call still baffles me. That was Christmas 1995. 8 years would go by before I ever heard his voice again...
to be continued.....
It all began 12 years ago. I was a freshman in highschool. We both were. He was the boy I crushed on from afar. I even stole his picture from yearbook. Sophmore year he was in my English class. He then became aware of my existence. We flirted like mad. I used to catch him staring at me quite often. He would always hold my gaze, intently. It left me flustered. For a fleeting moment, my Molly Ringwald dreams almost came true. He called me once. We talked easily. We were supposed to go out sometime. The very next day she followed him into our class, they were holding hands. She hugged him and literally bounced out of the room. My heart sunk. What was I even thinking? It was so typical really. So typical it seems fake. Captain of the cheerleading squad going out with the hottest guy in our class. Of course he was the super jock who would go on to be prom prince and all the highschool bullshit I never cared for. And then there was me. The shy girl in the corner. Certainly not of "popular" status. In fact all of the so-called popular girls always hated me. Junior year came and went. Once again we had a class.The perfect couple was still together though he never stopped flirting, nor did he stop staring. Senior year and we had no classes together. We didn't talk much without the protective bubble of the classroom. Yet he still stared from afar. Across the quad, passing classes, in the parking lot. Anytime our paths crossed he stared. There was something in that stare...in those eyes. Something genuine. We did have one moment that year. The single most awful night of my teenage years was the Senior Prom. The one and only dance I ever went to. He saw me sitting alone. Sitting alone on the edge of the bus seat. I'd spent the entire night holding back tears and pretending to have a good time. That is a whole story in it's own though. No relation to him. He came up and sat across from me. "You look sad." he simply stated with concern in his eyes. Those eyes pierced to my very core. I could not hide my sadness from him. I smiled weakly and shrugged my shoulders. Tears filled my eyes, yet they did not spill out. He did not push the issue. "You look beautiful. That's why I came over here. I've been wanting to tell you how beautiful you look all night." He held my hand and my gaze for a seemingly eternal moment. Then he was gone. Gone back to her. Those 30 seconds or so made everything all worth it. Graduation came and went. I managed to snag hiim for a farewell picture. That Christmas he called. It was rather strange and unpredictable. It was Christmas day just as we were about to say grace. My new boyfriend was over. I had to cut him short. That phone call still baffles me. That was Christmas 1995. 8 years would go by before I ever heard his voice again...
to be continued.....
