The STARTING OVER check list....

[ugly]

Thanks. No i can't really change my schedule. Im a painter and half of what takes my time up is after jobs dealing with clients and shit. Or my boss. I just got an extra 2 dollars an hr after only like a week and a half. I work hard and know my shit I'm glad they see it. Shoot i just did a side job this is my 7th day straight working. I do interior too but its the summertime I need to make as much as i can.
Ill keep an eye on it my boss knows I'm in recovery so he's been cool or at least trying to let me off so i can make meetings.

Much respect and recognition. Work is a four letter word but broke has five letters and is much worse than work.

I noticed you are new here. Welcome. I have enjoyed all 80 of your posts so far.
How did you find out about BL or did you just change names?

 

[junkieman412]

Much respect and recognition. Work is a four letter word but broke has five letters and is much worse than work.

I noticed you are new here. Welcome. I have enjoyed all 80 of your posts so far.
How did you find out about BL or did you just change names?

Appreciate it. Um honestly I came here trying to find out how to break oxys down lol. It happened to be right around the time I decided to get backon the wagon. Im grateful for TDS I was ready to end it. Hah I was just downtown some random dude said he was about to smoke some meth and he had some Ocs. Im like Nah dude I'm clean. Didn't bother me it screwed with my boy kinda glad I was with him. Temptation and Shit is crazy in the city its bad here. Dope everywhere. I actually first got clean years ago in one of the worst areas so I know I can do it.

 

[indicameds]

Yea, cities are hard as hell to get and stay clean in. Im in louisville Ky, the only city in in this state and its a pretty large one. I think the 16th in the US. And its flooded with everything. But I try not to let it get to me. All my buddies get high and Im around em alot. I try to keep the mind frame that Its all up to me to change myself and if I do that the shit around me wont matter. And personally I love big cities.

But Ill read through the rest of the post tomorrow and reply back to em all when I can. Keep up the fight guys, we can beat this shit and have the life we all want.

 

[fluxy]

Good job on making a plan. Fail to plan and you plan to fail (cliche but oh so true). I avoided prison luckily by getting into a diversion program and hopefully I'll be available to complete this drug court shit and not become a felon. As of now my plan is: 1. Do not pickup/use no matter what. 2. comply with drug court (and be their show dog jumping through the hoops [apparently this whiteboy can jump =P]). 3. Remain active in NA. 4. Get my license back 5. Continue school and achieve my degree in psychology. 6. Enter into school to become an EMT then a Medic. 7. Find a career I'm interested in. 8. ??? 9. PROFIT!

Make sure you keep making that list longer as you achieve the goals. For every one you cross off, add another so you'll stay busy. AND DON'T CELEBRATE BY USING when you complete a task. Best of luck my friend. Keep us here at TDS posted on how things are going

*********************

*** totally agree number 1 is to stay clean no matter what, as hard as it is to swallow.

I can see that everything you have listed before is a means to keep that sobriety, but just remember, If you dont put your recovery first, You cant expect to keep anything you gain, be it Things (car, accommodation) relationships (family, spouse or significant other) or money past your next relapse.

And dont let money guide you as the be all and end all, trying to get a job you love that pays really good, can keep you from getting either for years. Get ANY job, budget, and then go for your dream job on the side.

Same with business ideas. Get any job you can, for getting by money, and then do your business with the rest of your waking hours. Business can fail and then when theres no money, well we just use.

Remember, Theres no problem that cant be made worse by using.

When im sober, I like to keep a brick beside my bed to look at in the morning and at night, to remind myself that hitting myself as hard as i could in the forehead with this brick would be much less painful and damaging than using would be.

Jsut a few thoughs...... Thanks for the advice too, i have added them to a database i also have along the lines of

"starting from square one again"

 

[Serotonin101]

Lmfao about the brick. Ill have to start doing that. Thanks for the idea. You just helped me with my recovery

 

[RedLeader]

Redleader: Thats great your working towards your goals and making progress. Are you planning on going back to Aisa or are you just trying to get everything stable where you are? Id love to make it to Aisa one day, just to visit. I have friends that live in Thailand and love it.

Oh I'm definitely planning to go back. That culture supports the way that I'd want to live my life, whereas there's a lot of conflict between my ideals and those of the West. As well, due to the consequences of my past few years (both with respect to the law and with respect to my personal debt/credit), it's not realistic for me to work in the fields I really want to where I live now. There's a lot more potential for me overseas if I play my cards right.

Right now, I'm just treading water, trying to pay off a bunch of bills ad get clean time. But I'm making mid/long-term plans to make more money, minimise my expenses and save until I am secure enough to book the one-way ticket. I have friends all over the South Pacific, and as soon as I can get over there, my life's going to improve tenfold. I cannot wait.

 

[stardust.hero]

indicameds, that list is really good. I'm so happy you've been able to put that onto "paper' and outline what you really wait. I'm glad you decided to share it with us as well since I think it will be helpful to see other peoples goals and their motivation to achieve them. Great thread!

Some things I'd like to continue to work at bettering in my life would be be going back to school and getting a better paying job that I actually enjoy doing.

 

[indicameds]

Just checking in one the thread and a small update.

The Job I was hoping for didnt come through, I went to a couple interviews and thought it was going great. But somewhere between me getting the job and not it stopped. I havent heard back from em. Ive called a couple times to ask but nothing as of yet. I think that someone higher up got ahold of my back ground check and kinda put a stop to it. But Im not letting that get me down. There is an end of town Ive wanted to live in my whole life but have never been able to. Well my plan now is to hit the pavement hard this coming week with my resume in hand and put it apps at every place in that end of town I can. Then once Im working down there I feel it will be easier to relocate there. Then it will also ease my travel.

And other than that my life is still looking up. My daughter just left a minute ago, we spent the last few days swimming in a creek and jumping off of rocks and just having a great time together outside. Its amazing how easy it is to stay sober when Im seeing her smiling face so much.

Im super pumped about hitting the job hunt again this coming week in a different part of town, plus its right by were I always run at. So once Im done putting in apps each day I can get my work out in.

And RedLeader, I hear you on all of that to the fullest. I feel like I would do better somewhere else besides the US. but Ive already started a family here so Im gonna make the best out of it. More powere to you though man, I wish I could. Good luck, Im sure youll make it.

Stardust, Thanks. And Im with you on the schooling. Id love to go back to school and be able to demand more money for myself in the work place and know that Im owed it. Its an amazing feeling bettering your self and raising your worth. And being able to do something you actually enjoy is rare these days, that alone makes it worth the hard work and effort.

 

[indicameds]

Its been awhile since Ive updated this thread. Mostly because Ive been real busy, but partly because Ive relapsed. Im not sure what Im doing about that yet. But I am still pushing forward with doing everything I can to have the life I want. I havent been using daily, but trying to be responsible (if thats possible) at using. I know Its only so long before i got to stop again and face the same problems Im trying to get away from.

Hope everyone else is doing good.

 

[Serotonin101]

July 5th will still be my 6 months clean date. My PO authorized my travel request so i get to go to virginia beach for a week for forth of july and my 6 months date. Im excited just keep your head up my friend, relapse is quite common in recovery, as long as you learn something from it, its not a failure but merely a speed bump (as in you need to SLOW DOWN and not overwhelm yourself). Its all good though, i fell off and shot up/smoked up the wagon quite a few times. Just hop back on whats left of it and try to keep moving forward. Lots of love to you

 

[woamotive]

Ive been clean now for 2 wks 1 day. It was hell but I made it. Been doing NA and AA for 3 wks... it's awesome, for real! Great ppl.

I plan to make some changes... I admit I still possess fear, but then my recovery is very young.

I plan to start taking care of my physical AND spiritual self hard as that may be.
TRY ro move on or away from things or ppl in my past that only endanger my well being.
Make NEW healthy recovering friends.
Learn how to live sober.
Express gratitude daily.

 

[Serotonin101]

Also, its hard to live this, is dont set high expectations. When expectations arent meant, for me it made me feel (momentarily) that recovery wasnt working and wont work for me. Afterall its not true and i learned to be more patient with myself and recovery. Keep us posted my friend, ill do the same and together we can help eachother. Love ya buddy