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I was doing great yesterday. I even read a chapter on really interesting physics and reflected on it with my educational background.

However, today I have been in a constant state of extreme panic. Normally I take some milligrams of klonopin a day. On days like this, I took 5mg lorazepam, 15mg etizolam, and 10mg clonazepam. I feel like I am destroying my life with benzos for the sake of getting off an insufflated heroin habit.

Benzos work just fine at much lower doses when I'm using. This is extremely dangerous and I'm worried about seizing or dying. For the record I am diagnosed with a panic disorder that honestly could not be any worse. It is like generalized anxiety, but I am having a panic attack the entire time. I was like that for a year before I got a benzo script in the ER. I can handle any opiate withdrawal, until that fucking anxiety returns.

I personally think that it is not PAWS. I think that it is my panic disorder that was being treated by the heroin. They have a supervised IV site in my city now and I am very tempted to relapse for the sake of my health. And I am combining these benzos with alcohol now because they don't even work anymore so I am chugging 6 beers a day now on top of all that. If anyone has any insights please feel free to PM me because this is the absolute worst time of my life and I can't take it anymore. I personally feel that I should get back on heroin since it cures everything wrong with me while I'm using it, and I end up using a quarter to half the benzos than these horrific doses. I just need some advice because the anxiety is permanent and it's so bad that without opiates I abuse the fuck out of gaba drugs. I'm trying to get ahold of a baclofen script since I feel like I need a gaba B to take with the regular benzo dose but what I'd like the most is ghb. So I am considering those options as it would result in reduced benzo abuse. I wouldn't ask for advice if I didn't think I was going to drop dead by the end of the year.
 
CFC said:
I also love shatter, but in the sense of the shatter produced smashing up delicious slabs of hard toffee with a toffee hammer. Nomnom
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Where do you get huge slabs of toffee such that you need a hammer?


ETA: Mr. Satori, I think you can get phenibut online without prescription. As in legally. Anyone who wants to clarify, I'm curious if that's true. It would be pretty much the same as baclofen (but like 1/10th the potency).
 
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CFC said:
I also love shatter, but in the sense of the shatter produced smashing up delicious slabs of hard toffee with a toffee hammer. Nomnom
Click to expand...

Scrofula said:
Where do you get huge slabs of toffee such that you need a hammer?
Click to expand...

th


From Walker's Candies of course. It even comes with a nifty hammer that works great for breaking up slabs of Blue Meth also.
 
Yes ^^ Big fat slabs of hard toffee, that shatter on impact with the hammer and release all their delicious creamy sweet buttery goodness, plus 3" on the hips =D
 
I never watched it.... I mean blue meth? C'mon... I remember seeing Walter White blue meth sold on the dark net
 
The blue meth was meant as a dramatic device. The show was much more tragic character arch than realistic crime drama.
 
I know that it just was stupid they made it seem blue meth was quality..... I know it is supposed to be accepted as fiction, but they could've been realistic and talked about see through meth with the perfect crystal shape or like meth diamond... As if they recrystallized it a certain way that it formed little ultra pure dodecahedron sided chunks of meth. At least that would've been believable and educate people. Not make people think a special color only one person can do can mean high quality vs impurity possibly on purpose to brand the drug
 
It was still a fucking fantastic show. I don’t even like meth, and it’s some of the best television I’ve seen in recent years.
 
Yeah, but meth forming a dodecahedron IS as realistic as it being blue.

Technically, showing thin slabs of off-color product is the most realistic way there is!
 
That's the point.... At least it discusses recrystallization rather than just adding a magical blue quality. I also mentioned the dodecahedron thing from something someone at the Nexus mentioned about these amazing recrystallized DMT stones this person only achieved once. He grew some interesting crystals too.

Edit: https://www.dmt-nexus.me/forum/default.aspx?g=posts&t=19058

Here you go. The OP avatar is the unique crystal type. Read through the thread it's interesting.
 
Anyone watch the new season of Twin Peaks? David Lynches stuff is always pretty crazy.

Speaking of shatter has anyone tried dabbing pure THC before? I have done this, as my area is very accepting regarding cannabis and we are expecting full legalization. It was crazy and my tolerance got so high I couldn't feel massive blunts whatsoever for like an entire month. I found that it got me the most stoned I have ever been in my life, in terms of the giggles and those sort of high school lazy day highs that were always epic. But little to no anxiety that I sometimes get exacerbated.

Terpenes definitely have an effect, I notice it way more when I don't smoke habitually though. Lately I've been rolling joints and taking 2 or 3 puffs before putting it out for a few hours. I smoked 2 pounds in acute withdrawal but I prefer to smoke just a little weed sometimes, but still habitually. I've also reverted from shatter, to bong, to blunts, and then finally to good old joints. Love my joints, I try to get outside and make an activity out of it rather than smoke a bong toke in the comfort of my home.

11 days clean today. Well, I was going to relapse last night so instead I talked to some friends about it, then I went to a party and drank and did coke last night with a group of friends who were on acid. I had a really great time, and this was after sheer hell of a day with relentless panic attacks. I needed a break and I think it did me okay... still dehydrated though, got the coconut water going.

lol about the blue meth. We have non-existent drug education, everyone should be educated on the effects of drugs and their dangers and why people use them anyway. Instead it's just drugs are bad... mkay. Let alone discussing how the colour of meth or any drug doesn't really indicate purity. Alright then, I'll have to see for myself why they are so demonized. I wouldn't mind legal cocaine. Hope you guys and gals have a nice weekend.
 
Just say know is much better than just say no.... In fact Know when to just say no could work too.

Never dabbed pure THC, but had marinol prescribed... 10 mg actually made me feel weird and just out of myself.. It's weird it just worked for you like that as excessive THC is supposed to lead to racing thoughts possibly causing anxiety. I do feel you on the terpene thing and if you live in the same state as I, which I bet you do, then there should be more info about terpenes for you availible locally if not even terpenes testing of your buds.
 
My point is that ending up with a huge dodecahedral crystal of meth is as impossible as winding up with a blue color. The reality of making ultra-pure meth would be just another white powder, and the episodes where they laboriously grew massive crystals from that powder, taking it in and out of a freezer over days, would get cut.

In the end they needed some way to make the Walter White meth stand out for the viewers, and making it blue is only as silly as making strange crystalline shapes out of it. If they had, I'm sure local meth labs would have dodecahedral molds made soon enough. And I can't believe I'm defending the blue meth, which is pretty stupid.

But the house that tweaker couple lived in, where they took the stolen kwik-e-mart ATM, does look eerily similar to where I buy mine.

Oh, and chick's laugh sounds just like my cousin's.
 
tacodude said:
Walter White was the name of the guy in breaking bad not Walker.
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Walker's candies makes toffee. You lost me with the connection to Walter White...

The Blue Meth served it's purpose as standing out without anyone questioning the purity or who it came from as Scof said. If I wanted to watch the show with a stick up my but I would have been hung up on something like blowing a room up with a crystal of fulminated Mercury then walking out.
 
Man you should write a letter the producers of that show and explain this to them. You'd be the real Walter White. Maybe his name should have been Walter Blue. You could at the very least make them feel stupid, but maybe if enough people started protesting they would go back and edit the episodes so that the odd individual with a good grasp on chemistry and drugs would not feel offended. I'd suggest writing a letter of indignation that includes a sample of pure white powder in it.

I just like Twin Peaks and the new season Cult of American Horror Story is, well I have mixed feelings about that show since it always goes to shit by the end, but Evan Peters character is phenomenal so I watch it for the modern day Charles Manson manipulative mind control stuff.

I was surprised at the pure THC-A as well. The effect of it was the best I have ever gotten from cannabis, but tolerance was an issue. It was very different from shatter, and dabbing a pure chemical made it seem like I was dabbing meth or something. I really would like some more, especially for post acute withdrawal symptoms. Not in the states myself.

I wonder if anyone has added blue dye to meth if that would work to make it sell better because people associate it with a tv show. By the final seasons of that, I was getting really bored.
 
The show made too many shout-outs to chemistry nerds otherwise. Including the whole issue of stereo-selectivity given the new starting materials (aluminum . . . somehow). Plus they never gave a Star Trek style tech blarb about why it was blue. That's respect right there.
 
"The confinement beams on the anti-matter injectors have been knocked out of alignment and the core needs to be ejected before a containment breach" Star Trek tech blurbs could explain any problem.

ShroomySatori said:
Terpenes definitely have an effect, I notice it way more when I don't smoke habitually though.
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If you ever get back into concentrates you should try Live Resin as it goes through cryogenic freezing process and more complicated extraction then a tube with a hole, packed with flower then a case of butane dumped through it.

It preserves the Myrcene and Linalool especially which most BHO's are completely devoid of. Nothing wrong with J's though if your lungs are doing well.
 
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Man what is dark matter anyway I have been wondering. Apparently they can't account for a large proportion oft the predicted mass of the universe, which is ridiculous. I remember anti-matter from particle physics class. Every particle has an associated anti particle for example the electron and positron and the only difference is the sign of the electric charge I believe and perhaps the spin. Due to the uncertainty principle in energy and time, particle and anti-particle pairs are being created out of nothing for very short times before annihilation occurs and the mass of them is converted into the energy by means of a couple photons. Not sure what frequency those would be at depends on the mass of the particle but there is really no such thing as empty space or a vacuum due to the uncertainty principle.

All I ever used to hit was live resin. I never hit BHO, but limonene extracted live resin. That stuff is great, the flavour of a low temp dab is phenomenal. I don't like to smoke herb I certainly prefer massively to dab and as soon as I start working again I'll be a live resin head again. Since it's harvest season I like to smoke outdoor which is practically free, but I'm already sick of smoking way too much of the stuff to get a little high. It's still really nice but chronic doesn't get me high anymore either, after switching to dabbing you can't go back haha. If dabbing didn't exist, I would have kept my 3 year no-cannabis thing going on but it reignited my passion for it. I've been dabbing since 2010. Outdoor is great in its own way too though.
 
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