ShroomySatori
Bluelighter
I'm sure Sorry to hear you're hurtin' man. I have to say that methadone or Subs might be a better choice over more Dilaudid to even out this roller coaster ride you're on, at least it was for me. This isn't your first rodeo so i won't preach but I truly hope you can find a heuristic way out of this despondence.
Yeah man I feel you on the lady friend moving away. I am going through the same thing actually. She had a lot of reasons to head home and I'm helping her get through the move. I am doing great by the way but I won't be seeing her for a while and it sucks. We already agreed to stay together for a long time, ideally for as long as we can. Eventually, I think things will be a lot better for me.
Definitely a rollercoaster ride. I'm taking the time to essentially form a life plan for the next decade of my life. Thanks by the way. Man it def sucks being away from her as it was really short notice. I can deal with it though, I'll see her again within a month. Damn though man I'm a lot happier and functional when she's around. Not that anything is all that wrong at the moment. I need some more benzos and that's about it. Not sure if etizolam will cover that. I am fearful of entering benzo withdrawal when all I have is etiz left over but if anything in some ways it is stronger but you never know.
Haven't been myself lately. In withdrawals again, temporarily, and my girl went through so much bad shit that she has to move home for a bit. The distance is around the same, a little closer by. It has become so stressful for her that she had a fucking hardcore panic attack today. As bad as mine are when I used to go to the ER, I was really happy to be there for her and so was she. I'm unstable as fuck and yeah I'll talk shit about shooting dope because I do get cravings but I'm still on the right track... and these plans I have are really sweet. Like I figured out what I want to do with my life. She helped me with that, we are a lovely team at problem solving. Seriously... we already have pretty much talked through some of the biggest obstacles we'll be facing to stay together. It's really not that much, just takes determination and a lot of effort for a dope fiend.
Apologies for the negativity by the way. At first, I thought that I was going to break up with her by necessity. Then we both realized that there is a relatively straightforward way of staying together if we are willing to put in the effort (not long distance, that wouldn't work for us because we can't keep our hands off each other. After binging on dilaudid for a day or 2 (that shit never lasts long compared to anything else), I become suicidal for a few days and that's where the negativity was coming from plus my memory is hazy. All I know is I wanted to die for a few days, and I feel better today and have cut off my connect for that shit so I can't get any of the stuff anymore. Really do need to delete all the numbers and chill by myself for a bit while I work through all of this. Not really a good time to be dope sick but then what is. A lot going on though.
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