the shoe-box houses built too close

[tubgirl.jpg]

over and over, they crumbled as if made of sand
the falling towers in the blinding light from the TV
we sat in the shoe-box houses we grew up in,
that were built too close together
the women down the street was renting out bodies
for abuse by the hour

somehow we managed to fool ourselves,
to tell ourselves at night that we weren't blown apart yet
so our parents taught us the art of deception, the tongue twisters,
the second-hand schemes and manic manipulations
we grew up to be thieves, to be liars,
losers and suicides
we grew up to be good, grievous, to be kind,
we grew up and became murderous, crazy and lost

in silence, we waited for the revolution rejected
we stood around waiting for the hourglass to tip
until we sold our thrift-store souls,
and like the terrified rats that abandons a sinking ship,
we ran
and we ran like hell was breathing down our necks
with the weight of eternity on our shoulders,
we fled through the barren fields

with a razor she scraped off a pile of powder
from the pink hexagon pill that read “Suboxone”
“Inhale,” she told me, “as gently as you possibly can”
so I inhaled,
I inhaled and just like your heart drops, sink
when you fall in love, I began to sink, too

and eight years later, I'm still sinking as if I'm on that couch,
trapped forever to relive the worst mistake of my life,
over, and over
again-

 

[FixXxer]

amazing ..

maybe? if you try to do things different as often as you can, (go for a walk, do things in a different order, sleep at different times, try new hobbies.. etc... define this yourself) you can feel less stuck..? one step at a time.

they make staircases so that you can comfortably reach the next step, rather than having to climb or jump all the way to the top

No judgement, when i see people say they have problems, i have a hard time not offering solutions. I just want people to be able to feel their best.

Thinking of the problem, seems to keeps people with the problem.
Thinking of a solution, seems to help people travel closer to one. (feel free to think of one yourself)

i accept you for who you are, whatever you choose... i just like understanding.. Can you do the same for yourself?
great writing

 

[FixXxer]

I apologize if this seems like beating a dead horse.. but to really explain myself.. and my response clearer

If you had left this in an idea of... "but I ride into the sunset, knowing I will be ok"
I would not have anything to say but "amazing ... great writing ", as you would seem as if you were on whatever path you feel you need to in order to be your favourite version of yourself.

Perhaps you already are, and someone else needs this more than you... Either way, PLUR - (Peace, Love, Unity, Respect) to all

(all my words are from my heart, Please know I have no desire to control you or your emotions, they are yours--not mine to decide what to do with or how to express)

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

amazing ..

maybe? if you try to do things different as often as you can, (go for a walk, do things in a different order, sleep at different times, try new hobbies.. etc... define this yourself) you can feel less stuck..? one step at a time.

they make staircases so that you can comfortably reach the next step, rather than having to climb or jump all the way to the top

No judgement, when i see people say they have problems, i have a hard time not offering solutions. I just want people to be able to feel their best.

I never saw it as judgement, sorry for my late reply man. I appreciate you reaching out. I can guarantee though, I don't feel stuck.
But the way I perceive the world, after looking at it from the shades of PLUR, of philanthropy and so on, leads me to no other conclusions.
And for some reason, I'm comfortable being in the mire.

Thinking of the problem, seems to keeps people with the problem.
Thinking of a solution, seems to help people travel closer to one. (feel free to think of one yourself)

This is just how I process my emotions. Instead of it being corrosive or kept as tabu, I spell it out as a purge.

i accept you for who you are, whatever you choose... i just like understanding.. Can you do the same for yourself?

I do man, and I really appreciate your concern.

great writing

Thank you so much.

And just to make it clear, I harbor no ills against individuals, persons - my pitch-black pessimism is a large scale loathing for a specie.
I may be a misanthrope, but the distinction is essential - I have no problems with people. I like people.

Take care man

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

I apologize if this seems like beating a dead horse.. but to really explain myself.. and my response clearer

Don't be. You've got a heart and that's never wrong man.

If you had left this in an idea of... "but I ride into the sunset, knowing I will be ok"

I love that "but I ride into the sunset..." which is how I feel - I don't feel impending doom, but I'm more intrigued by the dark side of the moon.

I would not have anything to say but "amazing ... great writing ", as you would seem as if you were on whatever path you feel you need to in order to be your favourite version of yourself.

Thank you man.

Perhaps you already are, and someone else needs this more than you... Either way, PLUR - (Peace, Love, Unity, Respect) to all

(all my words are from my heart, Please know I have no desire to control you or your emotions, they are yours--not mine to decide what to do with or how to express)

Man, I appreciate you sharing this - It's a very open, raw and honest caring for someone you don't know.
It's beautiful. Sorry the response took time. I wish you all the best, and thankyou.

 

[FixXxer]

Man, I appreciate you sharing this - It's a very open, raw and honest caring for someone you don't know.
It's beautiful. Sorry the response took time. I wish you all the best, and thankyou.

My hope is to inspire this idea with others... "a stranger is a friend you haven't met" (from the Simpsons)..
i know it isnt always true, but it also is... because I make it so in my own life...

I never like to be rushed in deciding how to respond to things,
i like to take whatever time i may need to allow my emotions/thoughts/ideas flow to a state of stability(balance),
as to increase clarity on what i want to say and how i want to be understood/seen

take as long as you need always... opinions change, anger fades.... Much respect. PLUR

 

[cduggles]

over and over, they crumbled as if made of sand
the falling towers in the blinding light from the TV
we sat in the shoe-box houses we grew up in,
that were built too close together
the women down the street was renting out bodies
for abuse by the hour

This verse creates a realistic picture in my head.

somehow we managed to fool ourselves,
to tell ourselves at night that we weren't blown apart yet
so our parents taught us the art of deception, the tongue twisters,
the second-hand schemes and manic manipulations
we grew up to be thieves, to be liars,
losers and suicides
we grew up to be good, grievous, to be kind,
we grew up and became murderous, crazy and lost

It’s not exactly loss of innocence, but maybe just the pain of growing up and the lies that come with it. Great.

until we sold our thrift-store souls,

Sad but beautiful.

I inhaled and just like your heart drops, sink
when you fall in love, I began to sink, too

Poignant and I’m sure a lot of BLers relate.

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

@cduggles Thank you Duggles I love that you leave comments on the sections you like!