dyscotopia
Bluelighter
hey all,
here's an old thing that i wrote way back in '98 that was originally posted to the nwraves lists and then made its way around the net.. it's kinda dated but it being that time of year again i thought i'd dig it up and post i here.
---
The Set Before Christmas
or A Visit from DJ Nicholas
(apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)
'Twas the night before Christmas, and the party was phat,
All the groovers were jumping, no one was on crack;
The bassbins were blasting the fresh funky sounds,
In hopes DJ Nicholas soon would be 'round;
The tunes filled the warehouse with positive vibes,
While visions of glowsticks danced in our eyes;
My friends with their tablets, and I with a cap,
Had just settled down, way too couched to chat,
When beneath the black lights there arose such a beat,
I sprang from the rave sludge and onto my feet.
Away to the speakers to hear better the grooves,
Whipped out my earplugs and busted some moves.
The Technics had a plate on the slipmat so dope,
It rotated at +8 and filled me with hope,
When, what to my shade-wearing eyes should I see,
A DJ dropping tracks with squealing 303.
With a cut and a backspin, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it was DJ Nick.
More rapid than heartbeats his white labels came,
The kids whistled, and shouted, and all went insane;
"Now, JUNGLE! now, GOA! HOUSE and FUNKY BREAKS!
He gets the crowd pumping whatever it takes!
If the music's da shit then he'll play 'em all!
He keeps the floor shaking, we dance 'till we fall!"
Spotters gathered 'round to check his mad skills,
But ol' Nick has a sound that tickles and thrills,
Soon they couldn't help dancing to beats going down,
Faces plastered with grins, not the usual frowns.
And then, through the dry-ice, I heard a loud thump,
Nicholas was snoozing, his body a lump,
"Wake up, DJ Nick!," was the entire crowd's plea,
Nick's drink had been spiked with heavy GHB.
In his red and white tracksuit he so soundly slept,
The grumpy old ravers laughed and called him inept;
But his nose worked the faders, and he snored to the beat,
Ever the pro, Nick could mix in his sleep.
His eyelids -- they twitched! He was finally awake!
His pupils dilated as he dropped the next break!
This DJ, with goatee as bleached white as snow,
Had the crowd blown away with his kickin'-ass show;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And he filled up the bowl with prime bud, shake and leaf.
Then just as he'd gotten 3 tables to lock,
A low voice shook the room, "This party must stop!"
He was chubby and plump, a right scary old cop,
And it seemed that the evening might end with a flop;
But ol' Nick knew the score, he went over to talk,
And gave me to know I'd no reason to sulk;
Nick reached in his pocket and then with a flash,
Brought out his wallet and a big wad of cash.
The cop gave it back, said "If it's all the same,
I'd rather go off to Hawtin or Richard D. James"
He sprang to his decks, spun the requested tracks,
And when he was finished, disappeared with his wax.
But I heard him exclaim, as he hopped in his jet,
"PLURRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD SET!"
here's an old thing that i wrote way back in '98 that was originally posted to the nwraves lists and then made its way around the net.. it's kinda dated but it being that time of year again i thought i'd dig it up and post i here.
---
The Set Before Christmas
or A Visit from DJ Nicholas
(apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)
'Twas the night before Christmas, and the party was phat,
All the groovers were jumping, no one was on crack;
The bassbins were blasting the fresh funky sounds,
In hopes DJ Nicholas soon would be 'round;
The tunes filled the warehouse with positive vibes,
While visions of glowsticks danced in our eyes;
My friends with their tablets, and I with a cap,
Had just settled down, way too couched to chat,
When beneath the black lights there arose such a beat,
I sprang from the rave sludge and onto my feet.
Away to the speakers to hear better the grooves,
Whipped out my earplugs and busted some moves.
The Technics had a plate on the slipmat so dope,
It rotated at +8 and filled me with hope,
When, what to my shade-wearing eyes should I see,
A DJ dropping tracks with squealing 303.
With a cut and a backspin, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it was DJ Nick.
More rapid than heartbeats his white labels came,
The kids whistled, and shouted, and all went insane;
"Now, JUNGLE! now, GOA! HOUSE and FUNKY BREAKS!
He gets the crowd pumping whatever it takes!
If the music's da shit then he'll play 'em all!
He keeps the floor shaking, we dance 'till we fall!"
Spotters gathered 'round to check his mad skills,
But ol' Nick has a sound that tickles and thrills,
Soon they couldn't help dancing to beats going down,
Faces plastered with grins, not the usual frowns.
And then, through the dry-ice, I heard a loud thump,
Nicholas was snoozing, his body a lump,
"Wake up, DJ Nick!," was the entire crowd's plea,
Nick's drink had been spiked with heavy GHB.
In his red and white tracksuit he so soundly slept,
The grumpy old ravers laughed and called him inept;
But his nose worked the faders, and he snored to the beat,
Ever the pro, Nick could mix in his sleep.
His eyelids -- they twitched! He was finally awake!
His pupils dilated as he dropped the next break!
This DJ, with goatee as bleached white as snow,
Had the crowd blown away with his kickin'-ass show;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And he filled up the bowl with prime bud, shake and leaf.
Then just as he'd gotten 3 tables to lock,
A low voice shook the room, "This party must stop!"
He was chubby and plump, a right scary old cop,
And it seemed that the evening might end with a flop;
But ol' Nick knew the score, he went over to talk,
And gave me to know I'd no reason to sulk;
Nick reached in his pocket and then with a flash,
Brought out his wallet and a big wad of cash.
The cop gave it back, said "If it's all the same,
I'd rather go off to Hawtin or Richard D. James"
He sprang to his decks, spun the requested tracks,
And when he was finished, disappeared with his wax.
But I heard him exclaim, as he hopped in his jet,
"PLURRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD SET!"
