So, I miss mom. It's weird living in that big house without her. Also, since I was using until 2013, mom had made my uncle trustee and me beneficiary of her will. What's really frustrating right now is that I will be in college for another 3 years before I get another degree. I'm super low income, which means my job isn't nearly enough to pay for living on my own. I did however, handle mom's finances since Jan 29 because she was too sick to do it. She wanted me to be in charge of paying all household expenses, which I did until March 29. On that day, the stupid bank closed all access to her accounts probably due to the fact I had to use part of that money to pay for her cremation. Now, I can't pay household expenses, unless my renter decides he will fork up the rent today. We'll see. I hope so because then I can at least pay bills out of my account. This is just so damn frustrating having to be at the mercy of other fucking people just so I can survive in that house. I always pay right away, unless I can't. Mom went into a coma before I could have the mobile notary meet us in the skilled nursing facility. Mom had asked the bank to put my name on all her accounts so that I wouldn't have to deal with the bullshit I'm going through now. Since she couldn't sign for the notary after going into a coma, the bank closed her account. I went down there right away, showed them the death certificate, but I won't have access to her funds for at least 4 weeks. I fucking hate being at the mercy of other people for money. I have always been poor. When I was using it was because I did dope. Now that I'm clean, I'm broke because I have always had crap pay and I pay my bills. I no longer need an executer to play guardian over my money. I plan to have a conversation with my uncle about this. For now, I am going to therapy, NA, and doing Reiki for self-care.
Last edited:
