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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The Sad Thread (Anti-Snoo)

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bignbrown said:
planning on getting away for the summer but want to get clean first.

Guess the reason is costs and anxiety issues.
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Understood mate, I know where your coming from, its easier for me I got a partner to fall back on, although in the early days I lived in some pretty crumby bedsits on my own,but I didnt have the problems I have now then

Best Wishes<3
 
My heads been so fucked the last few months, really came to a climax over the last week. I was still using gear, all my shit, everything I love is in fuckin cash converters and i've no money to get it back yet. I tried to rattle off both my subutex and the gear last monday, which ended in me not sleeping for 5 days, holding a knife to my wrists sat listening to sad music about to kill myself while the love of my life (who has also been rattling off a much smaller, but no less serious gear habit) slept. Almost got my self sectioned on friday and got put straight back on my script, have not used any gear for 9 days. On top of this - we are getting evicted as we're in rent arrears, neither of us has a job, I don't even have my income support sorted yet so we only hve one dole income coming in. I've been suicidal as fuck and unbelievably depressed, and before anyone says it I know its all my own fault.

Luckily gettin back on my script has made me realise that I'm so lucky to have my fiancee' and that if I''d killed myself, it would of destoryed her. I don't wanna use anymore as this is what got me so fuckin strung out, skint, depressed etc. Just gotta get everything sorted out. If my lass hadn't been here and we had our internet cut off (so I couldnt talk to EVAD or Cherry and co) I would probably of cut my fucking throat
 
So sorry to hear that WR. I don't know what to say except that I hope it improves soon, however hard that may be to imagine right now. I don't know you but I wish you the best.

And thanks for putting things in perspective when I was just about to start self-indulgently bangin' on about my poor old broken heart.
 
whoa!!! @ everyone
@ mugabe, stop reading them old texts and get on with yer vison board :)

@ yer man from the northern end from the emerald isle, hope ye get to work soon

@ warm rushes, god bless, be stable on the script, and be good to yer partner and yerself

@ b n b, yer avatar makes me smile, im sure hteres plenty more things can make ya smile, dont be hard on yerself, coz when i get down over stuff like that i just end up doing more drugs and stayingin the same position.

im more anxious and worried than sad, i gotta get a new job, and theres a few things could stand in the way there, im a bit sad about beig so old and having so little, and i just want to move on really, but im scared of doing a rattle coz of the lack of sleep and how ehausting and exhilerating that is, the dog keeps wrecking the house behind my, and im over budget again!!
ah well, im just gonna sit in and watch tv
 
Very sad, crappy night, bad vibes from good friends, no luck getting a job, no weed, at my parents' house caring for my ill mother, no friends up here (and apparently none back home either) so I'm sad... this is a very shitty day for me.
 
Oh WR I feel for you honey. You've got the support of EADD if you find yourself in need of it. I know it sounds crap but things will get better. Other than any habit besides fags I'm in much the same boat just now. Things are hard and it's getting me down. If you've got that on top of everything else I can only imagine how hard things seem right now.

If you're ever in need of a friendly chat feel free to PM me any time. A friendly word can sometimes mean the world. Hope you feel better honey, real soon. <3 :)
 
Cheers guys :).


Been to see my keyworker @ my drug treatment place this afternoon who is sound. Just another shitty day, having to decide whether to spend 2 quid on bus fare or walk and save it to buy food as thats sum total of money we have. ended up walking and buying a fucking pizza to share. Can't even buy fucking food for my girl and I, it's not nice being close to 30 and having to think like this. :\
 
Honey I'm much the same. I walk everywhere! Including a 1 hour trip on shank's pony to the job centre. Another hour the way back. Oddly enough I've not lost any weight from it though I am better toned! The real kicker is that I have a car that works just sat in my drive. Just no way to insure it, MOT it or tax it.

Hope things get better for ya honey, and they will.
 
^^^^

Last week I had 3 working motorised means of transport, in a 3 day period:-

1.) Flat tyre on Jap scooter, couldn't get rear wheel off repair ended up taking 3 days and involving angle grinder and a MIG welder.

2.) Classic scooter MOT just ran out.

3.) Land rover Flat tyre, couldn't get tyre off, ended up having to pump it up to 45 PSI drive it home and use a 4 foot scaffold bar to undo the wheel nuts.

Still to be fair I am back on the road
 
ha ha, I can identify with not getting the wheel off a car. I can change any flat tyre comes my way but I couldn't get the tyre off my other half's work car ( no longer our car ). Took me, Another bl'er, BL'ers dad and finally emergency repair that had to hammer the fucker off. I was sore as fuck the next day! Trying to get that bastard off! The emergency guy was scratching his head as to why it was so stuck on as it was just over a year old motor!

That bastard caused a hell of a lot of foul words come out of my mouth! I was greased up from head to toe! I still haven't gotten the grease off my red converse.
 
I bent the bar it wass so fuckin tight...at least it wasnt going to fall off ...but after the week I'd had it was the last straw...I may have said some bad words
 
WarmRushes said:
My heads been so fucked the last few months, really came to a climax over the last week. I was still using gear, all my shit, everything I love is in fuckin cash converters and i've no money to get it back yet. I tried to rattle off both my subutex and the gear last monday, which ended in me not sleeping for 5 days, holding a knife to my wrists sat listening to sad music about to kill myself while the love of my life (who has also been rattling off a much smaller, but no less serious gear habit) slept. Almost got my self sectioned on friday and got put straight back on my script, have not used any gear for 9 days. On top of this - we are getting evicted as we're in rent arrears, neither of us has a job, I don't even have my income support sorted yet so we only hve one dole income coming in. I've been suicidal as fuck and unbelievably depressed, and before anyone says it I know its all my own fault.

Luckily gettin back on my script has made me realise that I'm so lucky to have my fiancee' and that if I''d killed myself, it would of destoryed her. I don't wanna use anymore as this is what got me so fuckin strung out, skint, depressed etc. Just gotta get everything sorted out. If my lass hadn't been here and we had our internet cut off (so I couldnt talk to EVAD or Cherry and co) I would probably of cut my fucking throat
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Much love to you <3 Keep your dreams and things will get better. You know where I am if you ever need me.

You just reminded me I've got a group meeting to go to with my drug treatment place this morning, I can't remember the time as I was messy when my worker rang me but I don't want to go. Heads not in the right place.

I'm sad as I let a good friend who needed me and others down yesterday after being up all Monday night night and Tuesday morning on a crack and K binge. Fell asleep at about 4pm yesterday and that was me until an hour ago :( One of my heroin addicted mates has gone awol, one of his friends texted me to ask if i'd seen him and to let me know if he turned up at mine as she was concerned. He buzzed my buzzer (mates have to have a certain buzz so i know its them or I just don't answer, but I was half asleep so missed the door) I hope he surfaces.

I'm going to go to bed and cuddle my boyfriend I think as reading sad things and my own head is just making me upset. I'm fucking starving after not eating yesterday, but only have a quid and not up for walking to the shop. Dole fucked up so I've not been paid for 3 weeks or more, so I have no money at all, AND my purse has gone missing (I'm HOPING it wasn't a certain mate who is missing who took it, he was last to be near it) so i've had to cancel my card.

I also just realised I missed my drug meeting, it was yesterday I think, I can't even fucking remember. I need to get a grip of myself!
 
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My ex-girlfriend was working at another library yesterday. She finished in the evening and as her route home took her past my place she called to ask if it was okay to drop by.

Of course I wanted to see her and I could hardly say no, but I didn't really know how fucked I appeared to the others. Nor did I take on board the fact I was drinking Tennent's like water when I'm supposed to be cutting down.

So she turns up and although the atmosphere's friendly and the conversation's good (if a little slurred on my part) she witnessed me falling over and just generally being a wreck.

So now I've not only lessened the chance of us ever getting back together, but I've also worried her and probably made her feel guilty, which is a kind of (unintentional) manipulation.

We're still friends obviously, but I miss the stupid jokes, the early-morning, half asleep snuggling up to each other, the way that the most inane activity could be somehow magical... you all know the shit, so no further explanation necessary.

I'm thirty-one this year. I have no material wealth, little tangible success in the material world, various dependencies and neuroses, the charm of a disgruntled Sutcliffe, and I look like I've been run over by a tank.

I can't do the whole whoring about / getting to know people again. Or feel sorry for myself like this. So shut the doors and embrace single life it is.

Hey, at least I'll get to smoke all my weed to myself again...
 
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Cherry love, yesterday I was in a crap antisocial mood and spent the evening lolling around in bed feeling sorry for myself, I would not have been good company, but tonight I have veg to roast and posh pasta (it was on offer, haha) and would very much like your company if you can make it. I understand completely about not being able to make things you have arranged sometimes, we are the same you + I, but today I really do want to feed you up :) <3

Sad that I attempted work today but was sent home to get some sleep. I know that sounds pretty good actually but I need to be back to normality at the mo!

Also sad for all the lovely people I know who are going through a hard time at the moment. Hang in there guys <3
 
sam:

the one wishy washy thing i truly believe is that if people are meant to be together, they will end up together. its might be a hellish route, but if you're meant for each other you will sort it out.

as for material wealth, tangible success, charm and good looks. the only person i know who genuinely has all of those properties is such a wanker i can barely be in the same room as him. and you don't look like you've been run over by a tank unless you've had some sort of accident since monday.

when we split up my boyf was a total wreck. including drunken middle of the night phone calls of him begging me and swearing he would do anything if i took him back. i didn't hold it against him, it was understandable at the time, hopefully she'll be the same. just give her time. and don't put it in black and white terms. if this one incident has fucked it, it was already fucked to begin with.

and don't be so fatalistic! you're not destined to be alone. you're a really nice interesting guy and only the sort of women you don't want will give a shit about your wage or your job. meeting people is difficult but it does happen from time to time!!!
 
chinup said:
sam:
if this one incident has fucked it, it was already fucked to begin with.

and don't be so fatalistic! you're not destined to be alone. you're a really nice interesting guy and only the sort of women you don't want will give a shit about your wage or your job. meeting people is difficult but it does happen from time to time!!!
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Quoted for truthzorrz.

I wrote something here earlier about the future but didn't post it because it read back as completely facile (I'd have wanted to punch me in the teeth for saying it) and I didn't sleep much last night so it also made no sense, BUT it was intended as a firm squeeze of your shoulder.
 
chinup said:
and don't be so fatalistic! you're not destined to be alone. you're a really nice interesting guy and only the sort of women you don't want will give a shit about your wage or your job. meeting people is difficult but it does happen from time to time!!!
Click to expand...

It's not so much a wage or job thing, just my personality, my outlook and my ability to relate to people. And especially trust.

Thanks anyway for the kind words. :)

I apologise for the whole post anyway. Proper 'poor me' morning shite.

Normal stiff upper lip service will be resumed soon.
 
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