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EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari
The Sad Thread (Anti-Snoo)
- Thread starter Mugz
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yeah, it sucks.
Shit day at work, gotta get up at 4 in the morning on Monday to catch a flight for more fucking work.
I've gotta stay off the booze, which is for the best ( it was making me ill and I couldnt get the CBT I wanted) the Diaz taper along with no booze is teeth clenching at best.
Me and my doc have given up on ADs as they can't seem to find one that doesnt leave me in a worse state than I am without them.
Moan over....I'm off to have a cold glass of Fanta and my the other half of me 10mgs tab
I've gotta stay off the booze, which is for the best ( it was making me ill and I couldnt get the CBT I wanted) the Diaz taper along with no booze is teeth clenching at best.
Me and my doc have given up on ADs as they can't seem to find one that doesnt leave me in a worse state than I am without them.
Moan over....I'm off to have a cold glass of Fanta and my the other half of me 10mgs tab
^^^
No Sam I didn't know you were having problems with the booze, it just has to go for me for lots of reasons.
I've gotta give CBT a go as ADs just don't work me, they make me ill in various ways but seem to do little to nothing for my depression.
The internal bleed I had about a month back which i was sure was the Sertraline I was taking the specialist reckoned was probably due to the Sertraline in combination with the booze.
I'm so fucking depressed all the time and its a depressant for fucks sake what am i doing and then i go and add a whole heap of Benzos on the top for good measure.
This all feels like the last chance saloon for me, if i can't straighten up this time I'm gonna end up loosing my family (Mrs atm has been very understanding over the years but you can only stretch that so far) and in a total mess, I've never done it but over the last 12 months I keep thinking about doing H alot, I know in myself that if it all falls apart this time around its likely that i will and the way I am it wont be pretty.
Still I'm hanging in there, but being clean isn't something I'm used to at all.
No Sam I didn't know you were having problems with the booze, it just has to go for me for lots of reasons.
I've gotta give CBT a go as ADs just don't work me, they make me ill in various ways but seem to do little to nothing for my depression.
The internal bleed I had about a month back which i was sure was the Sertraline I was taking the specialist reckoned was probably due to the Sertraline in combination with the booze.
I'm so fucking depressed all the time and its a depressant for fucks sake what am i doing and then i go and add a whole heap of Benzos on the top for good measure.
This all feels like the last chance saloon for me, if i can't straighten up this time I'm gonna end up loosing my family (Mrs atm has been very understanding over the years but you can only stretch that so far) and in a total mess, I've never done it but over the last 12 months I keep thinking about doing H alot, I know in myself that if it all falls apart this time around its likely that i will and the way I am it wont be pretty.
Still I'm hanging in there, but being clean isn't something I'm used to at all.
Infinite Jest
Bluelight Crew
Hope the CBT works for you man. I had some good results from it, but it was more for anxiety than straight depression. Seems to work for a lot of people. Beats the side effects from the SSRIs, anyway.
^^^^
Thanls to both, are you going for total abstenance on all chems them sam or just cuttin out the booze?
IJ - The phychaitrists I have seen believe my depresion is mainly driven by anxiety, I think this is the case for so many people btu I just didnt reailse what was happening to me. I was having panic attacks or more episodes of derealisation and just didnt know what was happening, looking back that had been going on and getting worse fpr a long time.
They wont give me face to face CBT to begin with they want to start with "guided self help" which will mean phone call sesions, if that s not working then they move to face to face.
Gotta make the best of it hence my struggle to get clean of all medications, prescribed and other wise.
Ad's are a last resort for me if things get really bad TBH last time I think it was more the Chlorpromazine that at least stabalised me enough to start pulling it back into shape.
Hope you didtn leave your meds at work this weekend, i've got amemory like a fukin sieve, last business trip i made i manged to loose my work blackberry and left my case on a train platform..luckily maged to get both of them back .....must be my age
Thanls to both, are you going for total abstenance on all chems them sam or just cuttin out the booze?
IJ - The phychaitrists I have seen believe my depresion is mainly driven by anxiety, I think this is the case for so many people btu I just didnt reailse what was happening to me. I was having panic attacks or more episodes of derealisation and just didnt know what was happening, looking back that had been going on and getting worse fpr a long time.
They wont give me face to face CBT to begin with they want to start with "guided self help" which will mean phone call sesions, if that s not working then they move to face to face.
Gotta make the best of it hence my struggle to get clean of all medications, prescribed and other wise.
Ad's are a last resort for me if things get really bad TBH last time I think it was more the Chlorpromazine that at least stabalised me enough to start pulling it back into shape.
Hope you didtn leave your meds at work this weekend, i've got amemory like a fukin sieve, last business trip i made i manged to loose my work blackberry and left my case on a train platform..luckily maged to get both of them back .....must be my age
^^^
I'm gonna really try and give the total no drink or drugs thing a go, I have lost all self control and I'm getting into more dangerous areas with my use of various things.
For the last 2-3 years at least I only take drugs and drink to hide away from my anxiety and depresion, but it aint working anymore (if it ever did).
25 years of abuse has caught up on me and its time for a change..but one day at a time
If your cuttin out on the booze try drinking sweet fizzy drinks, my counseler rekoned your body craves the sugar from the booze and it helps the withdrawal and you gott drink summit anyhow
I'm gonna really try and give the total no drink or drugs thing a go, I have lost all self control and I'm getting into more dangerous areas with my use of various things.
For the last 2-3 years at least I only take drugs and drink to hide away from my anxiety and depresion, but it aint working anymore (if it ever did).
25 years of abuse has caught up on me and its time for a change..but one day at a time
If your cuttin out on the booze try drinking sweet fizzy drinks, my counseler rekoned your body craves the sugar from the booze and it helps the withdrawal and you gott drink summit anyhow
I used to drink 15-20 cups of coffee a day when I smoked.
A double espresso with a J made with 3 green rizlas, Embassy No.1 and decent hash, ahhh now we are talking.
I was drink energy drink last year like, buying them in bulk from the supermarket, I think I was trying to fight the constant tiredness of the depression but caffeine has little effect on me.
More recently I've cut right down,so many people have told me that although it might be subtle it can really contribute to anxiety.
The new coffee machine at work is shit as well so that been a blessing in disguise.
Fuck soon I'll be only eating raw vegetables and walking round in a Kaftan:D
A double espresso with a J made with 3 green rizlas, Embassy No.1 and decent hash, ahhh now we are talking.
I was drink energy drink last year like, buying them in bulk from the supermarket, I think I was trying to fight the constant tiredness of the depression but caffeine has little effect on me.
More recently I've cut right down,so many people have told me that although it might be subtle it can really contribute to anxiety.
The new coffee machine at work is shit as well so that been a blessing in disguise.
Fuck soon I'll be only eating raw vegetables and walking round in a Kaftan:D
strungout2010
Bluelighter
Don't let hin guilt trip you, it's a very common thing for people who come out of jail to do, he's obviously doin this shit to get at you. Just be strong and wait it out , and he'll soon come to see his Lil plan ain't worked, and hopefully sort his shit out.
Hope things work out..!
feel terrible, drunk a bottle of vodka last night and acted a dick, scared my sister seeing me in that state. Im a piece of shit junkie and every single method (CBT, meds, private psychs) doesnt work.
I have no reccolection of the night as i when i was drunk i ate about 100mg valium, im a piece of shit who deserves to die. fucking hell.
I have no reccolection of the night as i when i was drunk i ate about 100mg valium, im a piece of shit who deserves to die. fucking hell.
Hey, you may be big and brown but a piece of shit you ain't. 
I've been there and so have others. At least you're identifying the problem; the well-worn phrase that it's 'the start of the recovery' is actually pretty true.
If I can do it then anybody can. Don't hate yourself for the odd lapse because that'll just create a negative vortex that you'll get sucked into and you won't get anywhere that way.
I've been there and so have others. At least you're identifying the problem; the well-worn phrase that it's 'the start of the recovery' is actually pretty true.
If I can do it then anybody can. Don't hate yourself for the odd lapse because that'll just create a negative vortex that you'll get sucked into and you won't get anywhere that way.
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Hey BnB,
I've made l fuckin dick of myself in so many ways so many times, hurt people I care for and love, arent they always the ones in the firing line.
I'm sure, in time you can make a mends for whatever you've done dwelling on it and hating yourself is the road to ruin my friend, it will do nothing for you or the people you have hurt.
Best Wishes matey
I've made l fuckin dick of myself in so many ways so many times, hurt people I care for and love, arent they always the ones in the firing line.
I'm sure, in time you can make a mends for whatever you've done dwelling on it and hating yourself is the road to ruin my friend, it will do nothing for you or the people you have hurt.
Best Wishes matey
TheSpade
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2005
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- 37,782
Hmmm, I just fucked up.
Went on Facebook, straight away the Brazilian bird who's coming to visit me in Scotland in September starst chatting to me and so does a Brazilian guy I'm mates who who owns a hostel in the city where she lives. They've met each other through me but don't know each other well, he's asking me if she's good at English and stuff, didn't really think about why so I mention that she's coming to visit me in September and just after ive sent that message to him she messages me saying "If XXX asks about giving me a job make sure you don't tell him im coming to Scotland". Oooops. Next message she sends me is "He's just told me I can't have the job because I'm spending a month in the UK". I start telling him she'd be great for the job and he's saying he's glad I told him about the trip because he was about to give her a job but won't now. She needs the job to fund the trip as mummy and daddy have decided to pull the plug on her, they've just bought a new apartment and aren't gonna pay for her to go gallavating across to Scotland to meet a drunken gringo idiot who leads their daughter astray. She has a job but it's just a part time hostel job so doubt it pays too well. Hopefully she can still afford to come, she's booked the flights already so might mean she's comitted. Would be pretty shit if she can't come I've got ten days off work and was looking forward to a jaunt around Scotland with her. I'm an idiot.
Went on Facebook, straight away the Brazilian bird who's coming to visit me in Scotland in September starst chatting to me and so does a Brazilian guy I'm mates who who owns a hostel in the city where she lives. They've met each other through me but don't know each other well, he's asking me if she's good at English and stuff, didn't really think about why so I mention that she's coming to visit me in September and just after ive sent that message to him she messages me saying "If XXX asks about giving me a job make sure you don't tell him im coming to Scotland". Oooops. Next message she sends me is "He's just told me I can't have the job because I'm spending a month in the UK". I start telling him she'd be great for the job and he's saying he's glad I told him about the trip because he was about to give her a job but won't now. She needs the job to fund the trip as mummy and daddy have decided to pull the plug on her, they've just bought a new apartment and aren't gonna pay for her to go gallavating across to Scotland to meet a drunken gringo idiot who leads their daughter astray. She has a job but it's just a part time hostel job so doubt it pays too well. Hopefully she can still afford to come, she's booked the flights already so might mean she's comitted. Would be pretty shit if she can't come I've got ten days off work and was looking forward to a jaunt around Scotland with her. I'm an idiot.
Mugz
Bluelighter
That is very unlucky spade 
sorry to hear that.
Will teach you to talk about people behind their backs though.
So now she wont get the job or come to visit you, surely then if she can't come to visit you she will be eligble for the job again. Seems like a bit of a paradox.
sorry to hear that.Will teach you to talk about people behind their backs though.
So now she wont get the job or come to visit you, surely then if she can't come to visit you she will be eligble for the job again. Seems like a bit of a paradox.
TheSpade
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2005
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Wasn't talking about her behind her back, I was complimenting her if anything as he was asking me questions about her. Should have been quite obvious he was asking for a reason really. I just didn't think.
Her flights are booked and she seems comitted to coming so I'm sure she can sort something out. I've got a free house all that week and can get us free sofa to crash on in Edinburgh so all is not lost, won't need to cost a fortune bar a wee trip up north which will prob a bit for trains.
Her flights are booked and she seems comitted to coming so I'm sure she can sort something out. I've got a free house all that week and can get us free sofa to crash on in Edinburgh so all is not lost, won't need to cost a fortune bar a wee trip up north which will prob a bit for trains.
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