Ah, I love a little Bluelight controversy! At least this post has served its purpose by creating a well-rounded discussion with some very intelligent, varied and valid responses.
So first off, the main question seems to be why there is a need for any rules at all? Why did I post this in the first place? Well perhaps I shouldn’t have called these “rules” but rather “guidelines”. I’ll admit – I am a very private and protected person. I don’t trust people easily and it takes me awhile to feel comfortable around anyone so I’m always trying to stop myself from getting hurt, which I know isn’t very healthy, but I feel in a fuck buddy situation, one in which I have no intention of developing a further relationship with the person, it is best to set some boundaries. Of course there are always exceptions to rules and sometimes life prevents you from following things that you had set out to do (or not do). If I did ever develop feelings for a fuck buddy I would definitely not just cease all contact with them. However, according to my second rule, I would communicate with the person and let them know how I felt or else it would not be fair to either of us. This is also not to say that I don’t ever break my own rules because of course I do!
The main reason I wrote this specific set of rules is probably due to the fact that I recently got out of a messy situation with a fuck buddy and entered a new very healthy one in which I don’t want to mess up by repeating the same mistakes I did with the previous one. With the one before, I broke almost every rule except the first (although even that one I sort of did, as I don’t think I ever had that much respect for the person). Some of the rules, like not revealing too much about your day-to-day life or sleeping over, are personal ones that I have had to set for myself because they have been part of what caused me to fall for previous fuck buddies and complicate the situation. Of course that is not to say that you can’t do it. Even now, I have broken those rules with my current FB and things have worked out fine so far.
I also hope you don't think I'm some frigid robotic bitch who completely uses people for sex because even though my post may have had me come off like that, I actually think of myself as quite a compassionate and caring person (most of the time at least!). My relationship with a fuck buddy is still one in which I care about the person (to a certain extent though) and I want to please them just as much as they please me.
So anyways, I hope my original post hasn’t offended anybody although I doubt it has. I really should have called my rules "guidelines" and emphasized the fact that they are very debatable and will be different for every person. I more or less posted my own to start a discussion and hear about other people’s relationships with their fuck buddies. But take this post and interpret it and do with it as you wish!
