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The right partner and how to find it...

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theredone

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 25, 2010
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Here we are folks years latter still at the square one :) The place and the surroundings changed, but the problem remained.

First, finding a beautiful girl is not easy. Here I am sitting in one of the largest libraries surrounded by 70% girls (I always wondered why the bitches study so much? :P) literaly gazing for a perfect one.
Alas, every one of them has some small flaw and most of them are plain ugly, i.e. far worse than my girlfriend. Most could be fuckable, but seems a few would fill my real needs in terms of beauty and 'character suitability'.
I look in horror at one girl who hunched her back over the notebook...reminds me so much of my girlfriend and all the dissatisfaction and resentment I feel whenever I see her hunched.
Besides her hunching problem, my gf has many other, one most prominent being her unwillingness toward being showed off. She never goes out with me to party when my colleagues are present. And most of the time we also fight about the place and timing we should go. It's her way or highway, or a big fight, which I suspect she deeply inside enjoy, because of drama. And all that shit about love, affection, 'you should love me even if I am going to be ugly and old...'. Yes I will, but first you need to be beautiful at least SOMETIMES. And I don't want just 'yeah cute' kind of beauty. I want turning peoples' heads on the street, opening most exclusive clubs, complete wardrobe according to MY preferences (or if you want to surprise me try at least not to upset me). I want adventure, constant competition, topping up...feeling that I am with someone prosperous and valuable...not just valuable...the most valuable. Instead I am with a person who doesn't like even when I talk about fashion, topping up others or plans to overtake the world. She in fact considers me crazy at times, probably due to her lack of experience with the male way of thinking.
And how the hell could I know that the first day I met her? It was just all the right factors were alligned, she and her friend were standing close to us, the night was slow, other girls were plain ugly, she was from a good family, seemed so perspective and smart, SHOWED HER PART OF INTREST...
And now there remained just that last part - her intrest for me and 'love'. Or at least her way of 'love', if we can say that 'my love' cannot even go with me on a party upon my request . She suspects I just want to show her off. I want. And so, what's the big deal?? What's her purpose sitting in house and be occasionaly used for sex only? (and even that is with some restraints and constantfears and obsessions about various problems that might arise if some bacteria from the air accidently gets into her vagina)

But where to find another? It's not just like going into supermarket and picking up a new one. We need right circumstances. For instance a beautiful girl to stand in front of me, or the right situation, so I can actually start talking to her. And since I find just 3-5% of my age group really attractive, simply by probability it rarely happens. For instance, all my female colleagues are out of this group. Nice girls, but still it's not that what I want.
And even if she meets physical standard, who can guarantee she will fit with me and my way of thinking? Will she be ready to be shown off? Will she be a successful well-rounded person? Will she show the same or bigger level of affection like my previous girlfriend?

It would be so good if there was a way to get into peoples'heads instantly and check all this compatibility constraints. Ah, it would be so great if at least it would be normal for a person to approach another person and say all this story instantly and ask 'Are you a such person?'. But no. We are doomed to keep wasting time and let our own fears prevent us from being happy.
 
Agreed. This makes you come across as extremely demanding. When I was more demanding of someone I would be in a relationship with I could never be satisfied, because everyone has flaws and no one has everything you might need/want.

It's better to just be able to appreciate someone for what they DO have that you like, once you have made the decision to be in a relationship with them, and not give so much attention to the other things. Obsessing over your partners imperfections and bitching about them is also more of a feminine thing and not that attractive in a man, sorry to say, you should be able to take it more in your stride when you have made a decision and don't blame someone else for your bad decision or the fact you couldn't get someone as attractive as you'd like (no offence, just a wild guess going by that post). Also, when you learn to find your happiness more in what you can give rather than what you can get out of a relationship you will be much more satisfied because this is much more easily achivable and something you can actually control. You can't control/change anyone else, and even just worrying about it is a waste of time.

Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear, I don't know if you just want people to support you for having such a shitty GF, but that wouldn't really be doing you any favours. The relationship is just as much your reponsibility and if she treats you like shit it's you who let her get away with it.
 
Perfection is a highly relativistic and potentially prohibitive term. I don't know anyone who is perfect. I don't expect a partner to be perfect for me.

I find this post to be crude and degrading - but not against women. I'd take a nice hard look in the mirror if I were you. The path to a healthy and viable relationship does not involve devaluing or invalidating your partner for flaws that you perceive.

It is not in and of itself a flaw for a person to not want to go to a party on their partner's command. I am single and seeing someone. I will likely stop seeing him because his demands are annoying.

It is not in and of itself a flaw for a person to have less-than-perfect posture.

I'd find it creepy if I were at the library (a place you might wish to visit for purposes other than picking up women) and a guy tried to hit on me. I'm there to study, not to be distracted. You're not exactly writing about sparkly eyes meeting over a favorite novel or subject.

I'd find it disturbing if a guy said the following:

And even if she meets physical standard, who can guarantee she will fit with me and my way of thinking? Will she be ready to be shown off? Will she be a successful well-rounded person? Will she show the same or bigger level of affection like my previous girlfriend?

This is not intended to be rude, but are you fluent in the English language? The spelling mistakes are somewhat beyond what might be expected from a fluent speaker in any language.

I forgot who originally said this (omg I am so stupid ;)):

Beauty fades. Stupid lasts forever.

There are many women out there who are well capable of dressing ourselves according to our preferences. I prefer warm cotton to plastic. If a man who speaks as you do were to come up to me, I'd probably either puke or hurt with laughter. There is nothing wrong with a lady looking good for her man; there is something wrong with a man acting in such a manner that he intimidates his partner by pushing upon her his wishes.

:)
 
^ I was about to say the same thing. :P

Op if you are looking for an "it" i think you can order some products that would fulfill your needs perfectly.
 
op, you might increase your chances by referring to your future soul mate as 'him' or 'her', instead of 'it'.

:)

alasdair

Wow, I haven't noticed till now that I was actually using the "it" word.
But it's just an expression of my thought how the life would be much more enjoyable if certain aspects of it such as relationships were more controllable. I mean if I want her to go once on a party, she will want something else and I will obey and so on. Why there must be disagreements?

I know, I know life's unpredictable and such...But still would be nice if there was a kind of supermarket for girls or guys or there was some kind of wise authority to tell you exactly who you are stuck with :)
Dating sites tried to act like "supermarkets" for partners...But seems people don't take them seriously. There should be an authority to regulate that field and confirm identity and data about each user present on dating sites.
 
^ indeed :\

Wow, I haven't noticed till now that I was actually using the "it" word.
maybe there's a deeper meaning there to consider? maybe it's meaningless?
But still would be nice if there was a kind of supermarket for girls or guys or there was some kind of wise authority to tell you exactly who you are stuck with :)
...
There should be an authority to regulate that field and confirm identity and data about each user present on dating sites.
that sounds absolutely awful...

alasdair
 
You sound incredibly shallow, and borderline abusive. The narrow focus on having a woman who is completely flawless (and calling anyone with supposed flaws as ugly), a status symbol, having to dress the way YOU want her to dress is ridiculous. Sounds like you want some kind of Stepford Wives robot, rather than a living REAL person.

I agree with other posters that you take a long hard look at your own self and try to figure why you seek something that cannot be reality.
 
OP, why do you keep coming back here for people to point out to you that you're sounding like a misogynist who's too much of a coward to leave his girlfriend and - god forbid - be single for a while? (HINT: most girls' first thing on a checklist of potential bf is that he's single)

I really don't get it. You know what we're going to say, we said it a million times before, you're stuck in a rut and only have yourself to blame and you keep asking for our approval. Why do you bother posting? To pick up arguments? If only 3% of females your age group are attractive to you, and if at a wild guess 10% of those also find you attractive, and 10% of the ones who you find attractive and who find you attractive are single and willing to get involved with you even after you open your mouth, you're looking at dating opportunities going down from 0.03 to 0.0003, or three women in 10,000. Two out of these three will run a mile when they find out you're in a relationship, leaving your chances as 1 in 10,000.

Sounds like you need to get single, get a grip and broaden your horizons otherwise you might die alone (or grow old with someone you despise). Good luck.
 
I actually read the OP and was wondering if the post was a joke/troll. lol I can't believe this girl sticks with him and someone is this misogynistic, but maybe he's just one of those guys who thinks he's beyond reproach and wonders why no one will date him for longer than 1 date. lol
 
"I want turning peoples' heads on the street, opening most exclusive clubs, complete wardrobe according to MY preferences "

And I want to see your picture, your pedigree, your bank statement, your car, your soul and your penis.
God help you if you're lacking even in the slightest measure on any of those things, cause you're probably not good enough for the kind of woman you described in that whole initial post of delusional perfectionism.
just sayin.
 
I think you need someone along the lines of a prostitute or a sugar baby. With all those demands, you will likely need a lot of money to keep someone around.

many people spend their lives trying to find the right person instead of becoming the right person...

alasdair

Exactly!!!

with introspective thread titles like, "Should I replace my girlfriend? And if so, how?", "Why should we respect women?" and "bored by female orgasm", it's a wonder to me why beautiful, well-rounded, affectionate women aren't fawning all over you.

Ohh yes we have to wonder 8(

This thread really isn't going anywhere though...
 
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