Leary actually has 3 audio files named «The psychedelic experience» on his website.
However, this is NOT the same thing as the Tibetan book of the Dead. I misunderstood this and thought it was. I listened to the audiobook for the first time after taking 2 hits of acid alone in my room. The audio guided me to an egodeath - something was interested in and i knew a little bit about but definitely not something that i was trying to intentionally induce. I remember letting go of everything, my friends, family, and my self. Letting go of everything about myself and being okay with it never coming back. The voice in the tape told me it would come back but for now I had to let it go. I became content with the fact that my ego is just a collection of experiences that I have been collecting since I was born. I did this in order to become a better person, a good person that wanted to help everyone. I wanted to be the definition of love. I opened my mind and came to the conclusion that I was my own God. And I was creating all of this, everything, everywhere, in my mind.
After this I remember feeling transcendentally happy. Happier than I have ever felt before, and maybe happier than I will ever feel ever again in my life. I consciously acknowledged that this was the happiest moment of my life.
I shared these ideas (ie I am God) with my friend Dan and he told me that he “realized” the same thing back sophomore year when he was having problems with his family. At some point I decided I didn’t want to believe this anymore. I didn’t want to be God. That was too much power, too much responsibility, and too much loneliness. If I was controlling my own reality, that would mean that I am all alone. All the people in my life, all the relationships, are insignificant and fake, I just made them up in my head.
Slowly I began to realize that none of the things that I was thinking about were very logical or necessarily true. If I was making this all up in my head, there would be no way to know anyways. I shouldn’t jump to the conclusions that I am, even if it is possible. I told Dan that I didn’t necessarily think his theory was true but possible, but he kept trying to reinforce that it was (I saw him as a subconscious aspect of myself trying to remind myself of the truth) . This caused me to panic again, and I spent the whole night going over and over what is real, what isn’t, and reasons why I am NOT God.
The next week or so was full of paranoid thoughts and flashbacks. I would wake up fine and then randomly start tripping and having panic attacks when I thought about certain things. It took a few months to feel like I was back to normal. I couldn't smoke weed without having a panic attack and my religious beliefs fluctuated for a while.
Knowing what it is like to feel truly alone in the universe is a terrible, eye opening experience that humbled me to the power of the universe. If you are interested in using Timothy Leery's work to guide a psychedelic adventure, I urge you to proceed with caution.
However, this is NOT the same thing as the Tibetan book of the Dead. I misunderstood this and thought it was. I listened to the audiobook for the first time after taking 2 hits of acid alone in my room. The audio guided me to an egodeath - something was interested in and i knew a little bit about but definitely not something that i was trying to intentionally induce. I remember letting go of everything, my friends, family, and my self. Letting go of everything about myself and being okay with it never coming back. The voice in the tape told me it would come back but for now I had to let it go. I became content with the fact that my ego is just a collection of experiences that I have been collecting since I was born. I did this in order to become a better person, a good person that wanted to help everyone. I wanted to be the definition of love. I opened my mind and came to the conclusion that I was my own God. And I was creating all of this, everything, everywhere, in my mind.
After this I remember feeling transcendentally happy. Happier than I have ever felt before, and maybe happier than I will ever feel ever again in my life. I consciously acknowledged that this was the happiest moment of my life.
I shared these ideas (ie I am God) with my friend Dan and he told me that he “realized” the same thing back sophomore year when he was having problems with his family. At some point I decided I didn’t want to believe this anymore. I didn’t want to be God. That was too much power, too much responsibility, and too much loneliness. If I was controlling my own reality, that would mean that I am all alone. All the people in my life, all the relationships, are insignificant and fake, I just made them up in my head.
Slowly I began to realize that none of the things that I was thinking about were very logical or necessarily true. If I was making this all up in my head, there would be no way to know anyways. I shouldn’t jump to the conclusions that I am, even if it is possible. I told Dan that I didn’t necessarily think his theory was true but possible, but he kept trying to reinforce that it was (I saw him as a subconscious aspect of myself trying to remind myself of the truth) . This caused me to panic again, and I spent the whole night going over and over what is real, what isn’t, and reasons why I am NOT God.
The next week or so was full of paranoid thoughts and flashbacks. I would wake up fine and then randomly start tripping and having panic attacks when I thought about certain things. It took a few months to feel like I was back to normal. I couldn't smoke weed without having a panic attack and my religious beliefs fluctuated for a while.
Knowing what it is like to feel truly alone in the universe is a terrible, eye opening experience that humbled me to the power of the universe. If you are interested in using Timothy Leery's work to guide a psychedelic adventure, I urge you to proceed with caution.
