foodcrisis
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2014
- Messages
- 2,042
i'm forty now and i've noticed this is a big shift in my masturbation fantasies and i'll explain why in the next few paragraphs.
through out my twenties and thirties i always fantasized about looking at either girls i went to high school with or girls at my dead end minimum wage jobs when i wasn't watching porn. i never fantasized about porn models while masturbating in bed with out any media. only fantasies about people i knew IRL. i'd hope to run into them, and i wasn't really sure if prospect of sex was a turn on during this time period or if i just liked specific people as art.
i always wondered if older dudes jerk off on their favorite people from high school years after never seeing them.
i actually thought dudes probably did think about old lovers and just people they knew and liked from the past for a long time, cause i was fantasizing about sex i had with my ex for a while, but idk. i think it's not really having the prospects of any relationships that i don't like to think about her, even though i wasn't really thinking about her as a prospect masturbating on our time together after we broke up. before i could think about her to bide time though between thinking about girls i wanted to run into. i liked thinking how great sex was and i still had the prospect of having sex again, but now thinking about only having banged one girl all the time and feeling like my semen is too old to breed isn't really something i want to think about. i feel like if we didn't have bad communication skills or she just didn't always catch my vibes, i could've been happily married, not saying you really need a lot of lovers to be gratified. but something is hitting me psychologically. i don't know. i'm still friends with my ex and some of the imagery i had with her from sex still kind of turns me on, but i'm not really sure about it. it's not a good trip at this point. i feel like it should be. that i should feel lucky to have the memories of great sex and still enjoy that i know what it feels like. that it just feels good to masturbate. idk.
really though, i'm noticing now that i was really always hoping when masturbating on girls from high school that i'd end up seeing them some where and we'd hit it off. that i'm definitely not less turned on at forty physically. i can still masturbate just as heavy loads as ever even on meds pretty often, but psychologically i have a hard time thinking of stuff to think about masturbating.... i started adding younger girls even just of age girls on you tube hoping they'll get to my channel and some how find interest in me, and we could get together and have kids. seems like something to do. i like to pick average girls with particular music styles. the thought of having cool kids influenced by our music might even be a turn on. that it still seems acceptable for me to have kids at 40 with a girl even half my age with part of my mind. i like the idea of it. that now that the girls i was going to high school with aren't going to be child bearing age, the voices in my head or my fantasy mind or whatever it is doesn't even want to think about them anymore. the girls are no longer a turn on, which is really weird.
i don't know. i can still watch porn, and that has nothing to do with meeting any one or finding a potential partner to breed with, but i think there is something to what i'm talking about. that maybe i should just let the porn audio and visuals overload my senses. my masturbation with porn usually ends quicker than masturbation with fantasies so it can often times be less intense to watch porn.
on the other hand though, i've been thinking about just filming porn and filming dirty scenes with girls my own age too just cause they still look young and there is a lot of porn where girl's clits aren't aroused or they are giving head and it's still good shit. i've always got off on the prospect of breeding though and maybe even thought i was wrong for masturbating or dealing with porn. that thinking about banging a smaller girl and being able to get my dick near her ovaries was a big turn on. i'm trying to rearrange my mind though. i'm not sure if i can get it to work that i could be turned on just for making art of making porn. i'm trying to get into the idea. if i watch porn, i have no idea why i wouldn't film it.. i feel like it might even be cool to watch the porn i did. like i did something right. i don't know if i can get to that state of mind though. i'm not sure if i want to pressure girls to film porn.. i feel like i do some good filming of non porn stuff and have some other great art. i think i could find some girls to film porn with out a lot of problems if i went to some bars or wanted to do some adult dating sites... idk. like i figure just let the girls keep all the money for it. i'm thinking about it.. i've probably got a bunch of good years with a sex drive.
@ the point of this thread though, like fantasizing about porn stars or girls i have no chance with in bed with out the audio and visual stimulation of a computer really isn't as big of a turn on as if i think i have a chance with a girl. i'm definitely noticing that through out my experience aging and just kind of taking for granted that i'm jerking it on the people i meet because they look appealing to me. no, not really. it's also about the potential of getting some.
through out my twenties and thirties i always fantasized about looking at either girls i went to high school with or girls at my dead end minimum wage jobs when i wasn't watching porn. i never fantasized about porn models while masturbating in bed with out any media. only fantasies about people i knew IRL. i'd hope to run into them, and i wasn't really sure if prospect of sex was a turn on during this time period or if i just liked specific people as art.
i always wondered if older dudes jerk off on their favorite people from high school years after never seeing them.
i actually thought dudes probably did think about old lovers and just people they knew and liked from the past for a long time, cause i was fantasizing about sex i had with my ex for a while, but idk. i think it's not really having the prospects of any relationships that i don't like to think about her, even though i wasn't really thinking about her as a prospect masturbating on our time together after we broke up. before i could think about her to bide time though between thinking about girls i wanted to run into. i liked thinking how great sex was and i still had the prospect of having sex again, but now thinking about only having banged one girl all the time and feeling like my semen is too old to breed isn't really something i want to think about. i feel like if we didn't have bad communication skills or she just didn't always catch my vibes, i could've been happily married, not saying you really need a lot of lovers to be gratified. but something is hitting me psychologically. i don't know. i'm still friends with my ex and some of the imagery i had with her from sex still kind of turns me on, but i'm not really sure about it. it's not a good trip at this point. i feel like it should be. that i should feel lucky to have the memories of great sex and still enjoy that i know what it feels like. that it just feels good to masturbate. idk.
really though, i'm noticing now that i was really always hoping when masturbating on girls from high school that i'd end up seeing them some where and we'd hit it off. that i'm definitely not less turned on at forty physically. i can still masturbate just as heavy loads as ever even on meds pretty often, but psychologically i have a hard time thinking of stuff to think about masturbating.... i started adding younger girls even just of age girls on you tube hoping they'll get to my channel and some how find interest in me, and we could get together and have kids. seems like something to do. i like to pick average girls with particular music styles. the thought of having cool kids influenced by our music might even be a turn on. that it still seems acceptable for me to have kids at 40 with a girl even half my age with part of my mind. i like the idea of it. that now that the girls i was going to high school with aren't going to be child bearing age, the voices in my head or my fantasy mind or whatever it is doesn't even want to think about them anymore. the girls are no longer a turn on, which is really weird.
i don't know. i can still watch porn, and that has nothing to do with meeting any one or finding a potential partner to breed with, but i think there is something to what i'm talking about. that maybe i should just let the porn audio and visuals overload my senses. my masturbation with porn usually ends quicker than masturbation with fantasies so it can often times be less intense to watch porn.
on the other hand though, i've been thinking about just filming porn and filming dirty scenes with girls my own age too just cause they still look young and there is a lot of porn where girl's clits aren't aroused or they are giving head and it's still good shit. i've always got off on the prospect of breeding though and maybe even thought i was wrong for masturbating or dealing with porn. that thinking about banging a smaller girl and being able to get my dick near her ovaries was a big turn on. i'm trying to rearrange my mind though. i'm not sure if i can get it to work that i could be turned on just for making art of making porn. i'm trying to get into the idea. if i watch porn, i have no idea why i wouldn't film it.. i feel like it might even be cool to watch the porn i did. like i did something right. i don't know if i can get to that state of mind though. i'm not sure if i want to pressure girls to film porn.. i feel like i do some good filming of non porn stuff and have some other great art. i think i could find some girls to film porn with out a lot of problems if i went to some bars or wanted to do some adult dating sites... idk. like i figure just let the girls keep all the money for it. i'm thinking about it.. i've probably got a bunch of good years with a sex drive.
@ the point of this thread though, like fantasizing about porn stars or girls i have no chance with in bed with out the audio and visual stimulation of a computer really isn't as big of a turn on as if i think i have a chance with a girl. i'm definitely noticing that through out my experience aging and just kind of taking for granted that i'm jerking it on the people i meet because they look appealing to me. no, not really. it's also about the potential of getting some.
