The problem is not the problem

[NeWBoRN]

First light in the morning and the breeze it freezes in time,
Looking out through my window and the daylight burns through my soul,
so many cracks in the pavement,
I wonder if they know.
That in between the intravenous drugs and teenage suicides,
there lies a problem that remains ignored,
beneath the streets of poverty,
beyond the walls of time the skies divide,
and we're all trapped in the city.

So we're locked in the basement and I can't get to the padlock on the door,
guess we better start digging,
if we're ever going to get to the core;
to the root of the problem, now my fingers are bleeding,
now the ceiling falls upon us all,
crashing down around our souls,
and all that was will never be again,
I can't pretend i'm on the mend, but everything seems brighter now your gone,
now the only problem is the cause.

 

[katmeow]

I like this

 

[Cosmic Mist]

this is one of the pieces i have read recently that i really wish i had written... brilliant work, i love the ironic tone...

Nice one!

(EDIT: Changed read to written to make the concept logical... thanks yanni)

 

[onlysweetpea]

Me likey a lot!!! nice work!

 

[up all night]

this is one of the pieces i have read recently that i really wish i had read...

^ hehe Well... lucky you read it then.

As for the poem: strong words, nice work.

 

[plazma]

A fucking interesting, pertinent, and somewhat savage piece of work. I really enjoyed reading this, as the lyricism and tempo of your writing certainly lend it a flowing quality.

So we're locked in the basement and I can't get to the padlock on the door,
guess we better start digging,
if we're ever going to get to the core;

I loved these lines in particular, the rhyming structure gives it a very lyrical feel.

A great poem.

-plaz out-

 

[RussellG]

I don't have much to add, except that I also thought it was great. Well done.