ranimal
Bluelighter
(posting here, thread/post was closed in the lounge) (hopefully won't be closed here due to some obscure rule / sphincter flexing)
Hello my lovely Bluelighters, it's me Bugs Bunny. I had a run in with law enforcement on my way to WB Studios today. Yea, I know – I shoulda made a left turn at Albuquerque. Anyways, this is my story...
The PoPo! (part 1)
A traffic signal turns green; I slowly pull in to the intersection with my left turn signal on. I observe a police cruiser facing me in the opposite lane. There Elmer Fudd and Porky Pig are inside; their just sitting there in the middle lane staring at me, see. Though the police cruiser has the right of way, it just just continues to sit there. So I wait another five seconds and cautiously make my left turn. The police immediately make a right turn across two lanes and the crosswalk nearly hitting a pedestrians. Their cruiser is now tailgating me! I accelerate up to about 55 on a hilly winding posted 55mph rural road; carrot-bean burrito wrappers blowing around in the back-seat.
The Police lightbars begin flashing...
PoPo: (((wheeeooop!))
Bugs (Me): *keeps driving looking for a good place to pull over*
PoPo": (((wheeoop "pull-over...NOW!")))
Bugs: *Pulls-over on a dangerous blind corner with a muddy embankment* This ought ta do nicely...
Elmer Fudd (the PoPo): *trudges through the mud to the car window wearing big glasses and a double barrel shotgun over his shoulder*
Bugs (did I mention that's me?): Nyaaa, wats up doc? *chomping a carrot*
Elmer: Alright wabbit, do you know why we pulled you over?
Me: *shake head* Nuh, uh!!!(hands and keys on dash/steering wheel so I won't get shot)
Elmer: I'll need your License, wegistration and insuwance. ‘Yor paperz pleez’
Me: Alright doc, I'm reaching for my wallet, don't shoot!
Elmer: *lowers glasses and glares*
Me: *hands over ze paperz*
Elmer: *Looks it over* The insuwance card expired last week - are you cuwwently insured?
Me: Why yes I am officer; I get new cards every 6 months and get tired of swapping them out. I've had the same insurance for 3 years. You can call-it-in if you like. The numbers on the card (me pointing), give em a shout doc.
Elmer: Keep your hands in the vehicle! I'm not your secretawy...and never the less your card's expired wabbit. Do you have any dwugs or weapons in the car? *sticking his nose in car taking a whiff*
Me: (((frappp...))) *releasing a 2 octave fart* Well, not anymore doc! *holds breath*
Elmer: *sniffs around some more* Hey Porky we got another smart-ass here. Mr. Wabbit, do you have any warrants or ever been awwested before?
Me: *Shrugs*
Elmer: I'll be wight back wabbit. Stay in your vehicle. *mumbles something to Porky Pig*
Me: *Looks in review mirror, see's Porky Pig slowly reaching for his utility belt*
Me: La ta ta, la ta ta ta taaa...*Slowly reaches for carrot juice in center console*
Porky Pig: *draws service weapon* K-k-keep yer hands where I can see-um, hands where i can s-s-see um g-g-gaawdamnit! *fumbles, and drops gun in a mud puddle* S-s-son of a b-b-bitch, son of a b-b-biatch!
Me: (((snicker)) d'you say sumn?
Elmer: Gawdamnit Porky, that's the 3rd time you've dwopped your service weapon this month. Get a Fucking gwip on it!
Me: *smiling and tilting head left to right, looking in the rear-view with a shit eating grin* meh he he heh….what a maroon.
Elmer: (stepping back to vehicle) Allllwight Mr.Bunny, your paper work checks out. The weason I pulled you over today is because you turned wight in front of us in that intersection and you were speeding. You could have killed me! Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: Yeaaaa, sure doc, I was going 55mph when I pulled over, when I noticed you were were all up in my ass.
Elmer: No, I mean before that, do you know how fast you were going?
Me: Ummm, yeea doc - I do.
Elmer: ...
Me: Nyaaa, ah yea, before I was going 55, i was...going 54!
Elmer: Godamnit wabbit! you were going over the speed limit! And...
Me: Mr.PoPo, I uh mean officer. Doc, do you even know how fast I was going?
Elmer: We clocked you going well over the speed limit. Now, I can write you a ticket or perhaps you'd wather make it easy on yourself and coopewate. Now, do you have any dwugs or weapons in your vehicle!!?
Me: Drugs, or weapons you say?
Elmer: So you admit you do. We'll have to take a look in your vehicle, okay wabbit???
Me: Officer PoPo, I don't consent to a search - I was simply asking which you were inquiring about, drugs or weapons.
Elmer: either... or both gawdamnit!!
Me: Well which is it?
Elmer: GAWDAMNIT, just tell me what you have you wascally wabbit!!! *Veins popping-out in forehead*
Me: Well, I do have some asprin in here somewhere, would you like one?
To be continued...
Hello my lovely Bluelighters, it's me Bugs Bunny. I had a run in with law enforcement on my way to WB Studios today. Yea, I know – I shoulda made a left turn at Albuquerque. Anyways, this is my story...
The PoPo! (part 1)
A traffic signal turns green; I slowly pull in to the intersection with my left turn signal on. I observe a police cruiser facing me in the opposite lane. There Elmer Fudd and Porky Pig are inside; their just sitting there in the middle lane staring at me, see. Though the police cruiser has the right of way, it just just continues to sit there. So I wait another five seconds and cautiously make my left turn. The police immediately make a right turn across two lanes and the crosswalk nearly hitting a pedestrians. Their cruiser is now tailgating me! I accelerate up to about 55 on a hilly winding posted 55mph rural road; carrot-bean burrito wrappers blowing around in the back-seat.
The Police lightbars begin flashing...
PoPo: (((wheeeooop!))
Bugs (Me): *keeps driving looking for a good place to pull over*
PoPo": (((wheeoop "pull-over...NOW!")))
Bugs: *Pulls-over on a dangerous blind corner with a muddy embankment* This ought ta do nicely...
Elmer Fudd (the PoPo): *trudges through the mud to the car window wearing big glasses and a double barrel shotgun over his shoulder*
Bugs (did I mention that's me?): Nyaaa, wats up doc? *chomping a carrot*
Elmer: Alright wabbit, do you know why we pulled you over?
Me: *shake head* Nuh, uh!!!(hands and keys on dash/steering wheel so I won't get shot)
Elmer: I'll need your License, wegistration and insuwance. ‘Yor paperz pleez’
Me: Alright doc, I'm reaching for my wallet, don't shoot!
Elmer: *lowers glasses and glares*
Me: *hands over ze paperz*
Elmer: *Looks it over* The insuwance card expired last week - are you cuwwently insured?
Me: Why yes I am officer; I get new cards every 6 months and get tired of swapping them out. I've had the same insurance for 3 years. You can call-it-in if you like. The numbers on the card (me pointing), give em a shout doc.
Elmer: Keep your hands in the vehicle! I'm not your secretawy...and never the less your card's expired wabbit. Do you have any dwugs or weapons in the car? *sticking his nose in car taking a whiff*
Me: (((frappp...))) *releasing a 2 octave fart* Well, not anymore doc! *holds breath*
Elmer: *sniffs around some more* Hey Porky we got another smart-ass here. Mr. Wabbit, do you have any warrants or ever been awwested before?
Me: *Shrugs*
Elmer: I'll be wight back wabbit. Stay in your vehicle. *mumbles something to Porky Pig*
Me: *Looks in review mirror, see's Porky Pig slowly reaching for his utility belt*
Me: La ta ta, la ta ta ta taaa...*Slowly reaches for carrot juice in center console*
Porky Pig: *draws service weapon* K-k-keep yer hands where I can see-um, hands where i can s-s-see um g-g-gaawdamnit! *fumbles, and drops gun in a mud puddle* S-s-son of a b-b-bitch, son of a b-b-biatch!
Me: (((snicker)) d'you say sumn?
Elmer: Gawdamnit Porky, that's the 3rd time you've dwopped your service weapon this month. Get a Fucking gwip on it!
Me: *smiling and tilting head left to right, looking in the rear-view with a shit eating grin* meh he he heh….what a maroon.
Elmer: (stepping back to vehicle) Allllwight Mr.Bunny, your paper work checks out. The weason I pulled you over today is because you turned wight in front of us in that intersection and you were speeding. You could have killed me! Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: Yeaaaa, sure doc, I was going 55mph when I pulled over, when I noticed you were were all up in my ass.
Elmer: No, I mean before that, do you know how fast you were going?
Me: Ummm, yeea doc - I do.
Elmer: ...
Me: Nyaaa, ah yea, before I was going 55, i was...going 54!
Elmer: Godamnit wabbit! you were going over the speed limit! And...
Me: Mr.PoPo, I uh mean officer. Doc, do you even know how fast I was going?
Elmer: We clocked you going well over the speed limit. Now, I can write you a ticket or perhaps you'd wather make it easy on yourself and coopewate. Now, do you have any dwugs or weapons in your vehicle!!?
Me: Drugs, or weapons you say?
Elmer: So you admit you do. We'll have to take a look in your vehicle, okay wabbit???
Me: Officer PoPo, I don't consent to a search - I was simply asking which you were inquiring about, drugs or weapons.
Elmer: either... or both gawdamnit!!
Me: Well which is it?
Elmer: GAWDAMNIT, just tell me what you have you wascally wabbit!!! *Veins popping-out in forehead*
Me: Well, I do have some asprin in here somewhere, would you like one?
To be continued...
