the poem i finally wrote right here

[pennywise]

slipped into the summer sunlight morning with gutfull of coffee
and breezy blue reflections of you
makes the world look not-so-plastic for the moment

hop into the red or maybe ruby-pearl toyata and kick the starter over
and the dials jump reaching for the road ahead and ready to drink in the miles of asphalt like the kids guzzle keg beer on frat row but ive never seen it here

but i dig them all anyway like ol jack or neal cassidy, dig every one of them walking wherever they walk, but not as much as you

you the maker of sandwiches and laughter and early morning snooze alarms and picture perfect movie reel moments but even more so and not fake either

smile smile smile its going to be a great day either way
and i wouldnt want it any differently
although rambling run-ons is most of what broken down me can offer
its still all for you

love.
you.

 

[RareForm]

slipped into the summer sunlight morning with gutfull of coffee
and breezy blue reflections of you
makes the world look not-so-plastic for the moment

this was an enjoyable read.

 

[Tanuki_23]

Thae 1st and 2nd stanza are great. Remnents(m.s.?) of Buck 65, Tom Waits, and Bukowski.

 

[clar1ssa]

I really liked this. I'm new here but I haven't posted much because I am trying to quit meth for a while and reading about drugs all the time doesn't really help.
But I'm so impressed by all the great writing.
I was re-reading On The Road the other day so this poem really got me off.
It was so tender and natural but when I re-read it, it was like it was so much more clever and rythmic than I had given it credit for. Anyway I won't go on. I love this. I love poetry in general. Might stay around now.
Oh and post more stuff!

 

[pennywise]

Thanks for your comments.

I was happy to hear that people recognized and appreciated the "beat" element of this poem. More and more of my recent writings have been leaning toward this style, and I thought it was really the best way in which to express the emotions I was trying to get across in what is, ostensibly at least, a "love" poem.

I was reading a short article by Kurt Vonnegut called "How to Write With Style" in which he condemned "jazz-style" writing. I was disheartened a bit by this, as I love reading (and writing) this style, and I really respect Vonnegut. I guess one could call him a literary conservative.... No matter though, as long as people got a good feeling (maybe a sense of freedom?) from reading this, then I feel it was a success. And I enjoyed writing it too. Thanks again.

 

[Dastrix Slogan]

I really enjoyed this, has a feeling of everything thats ordinary being made extraordinary by being in love.

I think you should post more!