sunEdltye
Ex-Bluelighter
Goddamn you God!
For showing me things I can never have,
For giving me dreams i can never achieve.
Everything is so much harder than it has to be:
Pain...
Love...
Friends...
You take so much,
You give so little.
You teach me things I dont understand.
You have so much beauty!
(I'm thinking a little more positive)
I'm sorry...I shouldn't have talked to you that way...
I just have to ask you a question...WHY?
Why the hate? Why the violence? Why the hurt?
The things you bring, the wonders of the earth, countless possibilities, countless love.
Were trying God, but a few people CANT make a difference!
Were not strong enough, were not immuned to suffering, we are not numb to like in this world.
(10 minute break)
Today, God, I talked to a person...
He was everything I'm not: smart, popular, very funny...
Then i talked to myself...my own body, my own soul.
I'm not a great man, hell, i'm not ever a guy that will be remembered long after my death.
But I am making a difference,
...and it seems that is not good enough for you.
I cant make water into wine, and i'll never part an ocean, so why set your standards so high?
Why?
I know none of this is your fault...
I know my anger is misguided.
I refuse to be a sheep and he led by a shepard.
I am complete, I am whole.
I am free, my soul is free.
I try my absolute best, I never give up.
God, you made me. You constructed me.
And for that, i love you.
But i will never stop being me. Not for you, not for anyone.
I AM EVAN ESPARZA
I AM COMPLETE
Evan
6-14-01
For showing me things I can never have,
For giving me dreams i can never achieve.
Everything is so much harder than it has to be:
Pain...
Love...
Friends...
You take so much,
You give so little.
You teach me things I dont understand.
You have so much beauty!
(I'm thinking a little more positive)
I'm sorry...I shouldn't have talked to you that way...
I just have to ask you a question...WHY?
Why the hate? Why the violence? Why the hurt?
The things you bring, the wonders of the earth, countless possibilities, countless love.
Were trying God, but a few people CANT make a difference!
Were not strong enough, were not immuned to suffering, we are not numb to like in this world.
(10 minute break)
Today, God, I talked to a person...
He was everything I'm not: smart, popular, very funny...
Then i talked to myself...my own body, my own soul.
I'm not a great man, hell, i'm not ever a guy that will be remembered long after my death.
But I am making a difference,
...and it seems that is not good enough for you.
I cant make water into wine, and i'll never part an ocean, so why set your standards so high?
Why?
I know none of this is your fault...
I know my anger is misguided.
I refuse to be a sheep and he led by a shepard.
I am complete, I am whole.
I am free, my soul is free.
I try my absolute best, I never give up.
God, you made me. You constructed me.
And for that, i love you.
But i will never stop being me. Not for you, not for anyone.
I AM EVAN ESPARZA
I AM COMPLETE
Evan
6-14-01
