Thanks, CfZ...I need to learn more about the green product, obviously. I've wanted to for quite some time, but don't have access to specific kinds.
SN...I'm very interested in learning more about making the product edible. I've purchased a large container of coconut oil.
My husband is ALL FOR IT. As I've said before, he'd literally do whatever he had to, in order to help my pain. He got the weed for me. We went to a "sex shop" (back door bong glass art) when I was released from the hospital. (funny story) we bought a device we thought I could use to smoke it. I'm a dumb ass, with no clue of how to breathe in for the effects. My husband even laughed at me, because he had smoked it back in college and for years while he played professionally in a band. When I finally got the "inhale" semi-correct, I got totally giggly and silly. My husband said it was the first time he'd seen me "happy" and carefree in forever.
I've carried SO MUCH responsibility on my shoulders for SO VERY long, investing too much of myself in taking care of my extended family. I just told my husband that I was about to take Toddy down to the nursing home to visit with my mom. (not because I
want to) He said, "Baby stay here and relax and let me take care of you. You're mom is being taken care of. She'll only break your heart (and your jaw) if you get close enough. Plus, you know she can be verbally abusive to Toddy, our Dal".
Hm-m-m, you know your mom's a bitch when she terrorizes your deaf Dalmatian.
OT, I know but it's all part of the proverbial web of life...My therapist told me in 1992 that my mom is a text book sociopath, capable of killing me if I crossed her. He told me to cut my ties, as she was poison. He said my siblings were textbook "takers" who would bleed me dry and never reciprocate. He was SO right about it all, but I could not face that truth. I knew my entire life had been a living hell of not only verbal abuse, but beatings that drew blood. I was a grown woman, married to the love of my life. I had put myself through Ole Miss and established myself as an intern to a renowned architect. I am by nature, an over achiever. That was a seed planted in childhood when even "E" for excellent grades in elementary school was punishable by belt whippings. I knew then I could never do enough, be enough or give enough for my mom.
Yet, I was never successful with cutting ties. I left my parents house after an argument with Mom in 1996. I didn't return until my dad's funeral in 2001. My mom threatened me if I showed my face, so my pastor and several deacons escorted me and my husband. Sad, huh? Even more sad were the bruises the doctor found on my dad's body prior to his death. She had beaten him with her shoe and the remote control. None of my siblings had protected him in my absence. Their fear allowed her to abuse him at will.
Wow, sorry I went way off in the ditch. I just have some deep shit emotionally that erupts especially during holidays. I try to keep it all locked up, but Pandora's Box comes screaming OPEN. I shouldn't open my veins here. I apologize, folks.
Back on track now...
CfZ, you don't want to "try" Fentanyl...believe me. Back in 2005-06, my Grand Cherokee was totaled with me in it. I was put on Fent patches with Actiq lollipops for breakthrough. Initially, I thought "F-U-U-K...I'm cured!" Nah...The patch didn't last the 72 hours. I was in the floor dry heaving by the end of day 2. Fast forward to 2015, my PM tried Fent patches again (the matrix style, no gel). My body did not absorb correctly. I would sweat profusely through the night, so the medicine was "dumping"...leaving me comatose during the day. My doctor had me on 48 hour dosing. I gave it 6 weeks, but weaned myself off and told my PM I was done with it.
As
SN said, it's the top step on a tall ladder. Don't go there for CP until you've nowhere else to go. IMO the abuse proof attempts ruined the delivery of the pain relieving properties for folks like me. I have a wealth of issues that inhibit absorption rates, as well as metabolism.
Sorry I've babbled on about my psychosis...the gift that keeps on giving!
Fent didnt work 4 u? I wonder what that drug is like.
Was pain predominantly on the left quadrant (belly into back)? My gallbladder was taken out during surgery in 1993-4. I have every symptom stated in your first sentence.
