well I'm new to BL, but not new to unrelenting, constant, ever present (well you get the idea) pain. I suffer from fibromylgia and arthritis, and have been for a good 12 years now. Haven't had a pain free day in a good number of years....not a single day...except for the first time my rheumatologist gave me prednisone. I actually had a glorious week free of pain, sigh.....but even that was a few years ago.
I've been seeing the same GP and Rehum doctors for 12 years, and struggled to get pain meds when treatments didn't work. Right now I am on a ton of meds and my GP was prescribing the oxycodone and lyrica to help with the pain. I also have a ton of psych meds for depression (as a result of the pain and the career and life it cost me) he has me on a few meds, and between all of those I have almost been handling life at a pain level of 7.....long story short, my GP quit and the new doc they gave me in the office labeled me a "drug seeker" (written in my permanent folder of course).
Luckily my Rehumotologist was willing to give me scripts, but not oxy's. It's back to vicodine and lyrica. She is an angel, But even so, I have now been labeled a "drug seeker" which you all know is the death knell for those of us in chronic pain.
I spent the last couple of months with barely of meds, and the pain has been terrible. My shrink had to prescribe me additional anti-anxiety meds on top of the klonipin, zoloft, and adderal.
I am now trying to get that bitches comments out of my records. Hell she hadn't even met me yet, and the first thing she says when she walks in the door is "I will not be giving you any narcotics for your habit' she didn't examine me at all. Didn't read any of my records, nor the 15 test results from mri's xrays, ect from 2008 only (been ill since 99) when i asked her if she didn't have the responsibility to adequetly reduce my pain levels and i was told " i won't do anything to get audited by the feds to jeoordise her licence! Oh and, after all that entire 10 minutes she diagnosed me as being bi-polar!
I've talked to two lawyers and have been told i may have a case, but they wouldn't be interested in taking it. I can prove injury...but i guess there isn't enough money in it for them. All I want is a referal to another gp, and to have that witches comments expunged from my records.
Sorry to unload so much on ya'll, but it explains where I am coming from....So over the years I have been supplementing with medical cannabis, but still I can't get mr. pain to go away. As a result, I have been looking for "unconventional meds" and found that mushrooms helped with my migrains and kept my levels down for a week after dosing. Problem is they are tricky to cultivate, and I built up an evil tolerance and needed mass quantities to get any results at all.
now I have started experimenting with RC's. I know that may be a bit dangerous, but A) I am a old girl, and have been "self medicating" for almost 40 years.
Since NOTHING short of morphine takes my pain away, I have started focusing on ways to live with the pain, and I learned that diversion was my best friend. I can sometimes get in the zone and try and ignore the pain. I became a graphic artist because when I am creating I can actually "forget" I am in pain....
I honestly would end my life if I could. My "quality of life" is in the negative numbers...but I have a 20 year old autistic son that without me to take care of him would end up in an institution somewhere, and well that would be terrible....
Over the years, I have found that those of us in pain, can help each other learn new ways to deal with it all......
Muppy