Recovery The Orange Man Cometh- To Painful One

[Painful One]

Come get sober with your very own Painful One.

Yep, that’s right.
Painful One is finally coming clean.

It is approximately, day 11, here.
Moving from 90 mg MS Contin (long acting morphine) a day, to Subutex.
I tried the suboxone for 7 days and it was pretty good, except for the headache it gave me.
So, moved to Subutex.

I might ask for the suboxone back because the Subutex takes awhile to dissolve and it burns my tongue and mouth.
I am also needing more of the Subutex in comparison to the Suboxone.

I‘m not sure yet.
I do feel better in a lot of ways.
Stomach issues are better, more alert, more energy, sex drive returning....
I am still stabilizing though.
I do not feel great or anything.

But, there is a coming back to life feeling that gives me hope , my friends, it is giving me hope.

Everyone who is getting cleaned up right now, Come and support one another.
How are you all doing?
We can get through this together.

 

[Snafu in the Void]

Day 14 of sobriety here.

Feel healthy and optimistic.

 

[Painful One]

Day 14 of sobriety here.

Feel healthy and optimistic.

Nice work!
Well done!!

I feel pretty healthy and optimistic too.

YAY!

 

[Painful One]

So...self care...
That is what I am focusing on first.

I feel disoriented.
Like I am coming out of a coma or something.

I need to give myself time to heal.
I must take some time to heal.

Right now, I am doing Bath Salt Soaks.
Need to get that Magnesium in.
Good for muscle aches and pains.
My body is sore.

I feel hopeful though.
This is going to be FUN getting myself back.
Damn! I have missed myself.

 

[cdin]

Down to 7.5mg oc / 24h. Going to jump off in 5 days at 5mg. Preparing for another ibogaine treatment. Not a flood - for ptsd. Will be taking 450mg w a provider to treat TBI/ptsd. There have been phenomenal results w military folks, I very much hope I get some relief from long term ptsd symptoms.

 

[Painful One]

Down to 7.5mg oc / 24h. Going to jump off in 5 days at 5mg. Preparing for another ibogaine treatment. Not a flood - for ptsd. Will be taking 450mg w a provider to treat TBI/ptsd. There have been phenomenal results w military folks, I very much hope I get some relief from long term ptsd symptoms.

I am praying for you!
Miracles are going to occur in this thread.
You are in the right place my friend.

Jumping from what?
You might want to taper down a little more ; Sounds like you have a plan though.
Good work!

I have also heard of phenomenal results from psychedelics.
It is always helpful to heal your soul and spirit and psychedelics do that.

Much love to you!
You can do this!

We can do this!

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Everyone that posts on this thread is going to make it, I just know you are. You guys/gals are a strong bunch and have the will to push through and enjoy a better life.

Congrats and stay strong to all of you.

 

[cdin]

I am praying for you!
Miracles are going to occur in this thread.
You are in the right place my friend.

Jumping from what?
You might want to taper down a little more ; Sounds like you have a plan though.
Good work!

I have also heard of phenomenal results from psychedelics.
It is always helpful to heal your soul and spirit and psychedelics do that.

Much love to you!
You can do this!

We can do this!

I'm coming off of a long titration of all the meds i was put on after 3rd degree burns. it's taken... about 5 years, starting w benzos, then baclofen, then propranolol, then alpha blockers, then booze(obviously not rx, just had to go), ... lets' see, kratom, ... there may have been some more crap in there i'm forgetting. The last thing i've been on was oxycodone, which i started at around 120mg, tonight ill be taking 7, last night was 7, tomorrow 6, then 5 for two days then jumping off. I'll be off the oxy for at least two days pre ibogaine dose.

It's important to me because the last time i did ibogaine it told me point blank if i came back to it for opioids, it would murder me. I also think it has been important that i do this process on my own.
There's something extremeling empowering about coming off that much stuff. I know now that I truly can get through just about anything, because that was unmitigated hell for most of the last 5 years (dealing with the titrations, burn recovery and extremely bad clinical PTSD symptoms).

5mg is about as low as I care to taper oxycodone. ime there's an obsessive quality that can take over with micro-tapering, and for kindling purposes at least with GABA agents can be extra-damaging. I'm good coming off 5mg OC. it's nothing in comparison to coming off of benzos, ime.

ymmv of course.

 

[Painful One]

So sorry for what you have endured @cdin
I was injured badly also.
Burned though, ugh. No wonder you have bad PTSD

I like your style of just dropping the OC at 5 mg.
Hell yes, you can do that!

Thank you for the vote of confidence @Nurse Ratched
I appreciate it. Very much.

I hate it when I all of a sudden just start to burn up and feel the withdrawal come through.
It isn’t for long, but those hot, cold spells are wicked.
I want them to go away now.
I am starting to feel more like I can count on the Subutex.
I need to start taking less of it.

Trying to be patient over here.
Man, I have a lot of catching up to do.
I don’t know what life is going to look like for me without morphine.
I am hoping and praying for a miracle.

I am starting to feel a lot more like myself.
If I can get ME back, that is all I need.
I could always rely on myself (until I couldn’t)
I always used to think, “as long as I have myself, that is all I need.“
Please come back self.

 

[Robi]

Day 14 of sobriety here.

Feel healthy and optimistic.

i have no words.........but hope and confidence in you

 

[cdin]

So sorry for what you have endured @cdin
I was injured badly also.
Burned though, ugh. No wonder you have bad PTSD

I like your style of just dropping the OC at 5 mg.
Hell yes, you can do that!

Thank you for the vote of confidence @Nurse Ratched
I appreciate it. Very much.

I hate it when I all of a sudden just start to burn up and feel the withdrawal come through.
It isn’t for long, but those hot, cold spells are wicked.
I want them to go away now.
I am starting to feel more like I can count on the Subutex.
I need to start taking less of it.

Trying to be patient over here.
Man, I have a lot of catching up to do.
I don’t know what life is going to look like for me without morphine.
I am hoping and praying for a miracle.

I am starting to feel a lot more like myself.
If I can get ME back, that is all I need.
I could always rely on myself (until I couldn’t)
I always used to think, “as long as I have myself, that is all I need.“
Please come back self.

ime that me definitely comes back, and is stronger for all the learning/suffering etc.
glad the subs are working for you. I always did better with a pure mu agonist taper, but that's what it's about, finding the methods that work for the individual. at the end of the day,
however you get back to some sanity and stability is a fantastic way, because it brought you to a better place.

 

[Painful One]

ime that me definitely comes back, and is stronger for all the learning/suffering etc.
glad the subs are working for you. I always did better with a pure mu agonist taper, but that's what it's about, finding the methods that work for the individual. at the end of the day,
however you get back to some sanity and stability is a fantastic way, because it brought you to a better place.

Thank you!
I needed to hear this!
It will be SO worth it to get ourselves back my friends.

This is what I have been thinking too.
It is all about finding what works for us as Individuals.
I don’t think my doctor will freak out if I show up and tell her I have been needing 16 mg every 8 hours.
I just told her that a few days ago when she saw me.
She seemed fine with that and she realizes that 16 mg every 8 hours is more than she is prescribing me to take a day.
She was just happy that I am having a good attitude about it and I am already planning a little vacation.

So...I am assuming - Just do the best you can and then, we will deal with where that is at... kind of thing.
My doctor knows I do not abuse the medication.
I am coming from 90 mg morphine a day, so...my doctor has to realize that is hard.
I just do not want to be cut off due to taking more than 3 8 mg Subutex a day and then have to cold turkey that for days .
I don’t think that is how they do it with Subs.

Anyone?

I think they are just watching me and seeing where I stabilize at.
Then, we can go from there.

 

[cdin]

Thank you!
I needed to hear this!
It will be SO worth it to get ourselves back my friends.

This is what I have been thinking too.
It is all about finding what works for us as Individuals.
I don’t think my doctor will freak out if I show up and tell her I have been needing 16 mg every 8 hours.
I just told her that a few days ago when she saw me.
She seemed fine with that and she realizes that 16 mg every 8 hours is more than she is prescribing me to take a day.
She was just happy that I am having a good attitude about it and I am already planning a little vacation.

So...I am assuming - Just do the best you can and then, we will deal with where that is at... kind of thing.
My doctor knows I do not abuse the medication.
I am coming from 90 mg morphine a day, so...my doctor has to realize that is hard.
I just do not want to be cut off due to taking more than 3 8 mg Subutex a day and then have to cold turkey that for days .
I don’t think that is how they do it with Subs.

Anyone?

I think they are just watching me and seeing where I stabilize at.
Then, we can go from there.

Honestly - that seems v strange to me —- 90mg morphine is like 60mg of. It’s a habit, but it’s not crazy. Buprenorphine is extremely potent, I would expect something like 8-10mg to cover it the initial wd, and easily titrate rapidly to 2mg. Not sure what is going on / if you metabolize bupe weird but imo there’s no way you should require 30+mg or bupe is o deal w 90mg morph…. Assuming the morphine habit is oral and not IV.. either way hope you find relief. Just seems very odd to me like something is amiss

 

[Painful One]

Honestly - that seems v strange to me —- 90mg morphine is like 60mg of. It’s a habit, but it’s not crazy. Buprenorphine is extremely potent, I would expect something like 8-10mg to cover it the initial wd, and easily titrate rapidly to 2mg. Not sure what is going on / if you metabolize bupe weird but imo there’s no way you should require 30+mg or bupe is o deal w 90mg morph…. Assuming the morphine habit is oral and not IV.. either way hope you find relief. Just seems very odd to me like something is amiss

Thank you.
I know, right? They are acting like 90 mg morphine is horrible.
yet, they are the ones who prescribed it to me, all these years.
I would have taken the suboxone treatment right from the start if it had been covered by insurance and got your permanent record with “addict” label.
I have been really careful and good with it, all this time.
Never calling in early or anything.

The law now says that 90 mg morphine a day is for people who are dying.
The medical system has had some major changes.
People with injuries like me are going to find their prescriptions getting cut off.

Anyway, yeah, I am needing 16 mg every 8 hours or I feel like I have the flu and I start to feel the withdrawal way more.
I just told my doctor that and they seemed fine with it.
But the way the prescription is wrote, I am only supposed to be taking 3 8 mg doses a day.
IDK...I will call and ask them about it.

This is why I am asking others to let me know if going from 90 mg morphine a day is less than 16 mg suboxone.
Is this a good change? It feels like it is going to be. So far, so good.
16 mg is where I have to be right now or my legs are killing, etc....
So, it is what it is. I guess.

I am waiting for doctor to call back.
I will let you know what they say.

 

[sohrah]

I am off the rails terribly distraught but it's like a quiet desperation I seem to be filling a growing void with insatiable misuse of reefer, booze, nicotine, and a couple other things almost thought of looking for crack the other night thank goodness it was late and I was tired that was a terrible idea have not done crack in over five years biggest waste of money and I would not be able to stop once I started unless I got cut off from it somehow still battling another stim to this day ravaged from tweaking on it last night emotional roller coaster of course this one crashes at the end it doesn't come to a nice slow stop

My gut tells me I need to get clean now but the train was derailed man I can't seem to press the brakes

 

[Painful One]

Doing well here.
The Subutex is holding down my chronic pain pretty good.
I am having a flare up of low back pain, left leg pain due to freezing weather- wind- barometric pressure, but Subutex is working to keep things manageable.
I still have less pain than I did before switching from MS Contin to Subutex.
That is amazing.

Buprenorphine does work for chronic pain management.

 

[Painful One]

Still doing well here.

The only problem is I am needing 16-24 mg of Subutex every 8 hours.
I cannot go below that or I am a sweating, hurting mess.
I keep trying to go lower than that but I cannot.

So....holding at 16-24 mg Subutex every 8 hours.

Hope I can get that dosage down soon.

 

[T3nnessee]

Still doing well here.

The only problem is I am needing 16-24 mg of Subutex every 8 hours.
I cannot go below that or I am a sweating, hurting mess.
I keep trying to go lower than that but I cannot.

So....holding at 16-24 mg Subutex every 8 hours.

Hope I can get that dosage down soon.

Hello and congratulations! I do know that less is more with buprenorphine. The quicker you can get down to 2-4 mgs the better you will feel. I'm 35 days clean now using the cold turkey method but buprenorphine is a valuable tool. Good luck to you.

 

[Painful One]

Hello and congratulations! I do know that less is more with buprenorphine. The quicker you can get down to 2-4 mgs the better you will feel. I'm 35 days clean now using the cold turkey method but buprenorphine is a valuable tool. Good luck to you.

Any advise on how I can get down the dosage of Subutex?
Everyone says “less is more” with buprenorphine, but I am finding that more is more.
I start going into the full blown sweats, can’t sleep, can’t eat, withdrawal symptoms...when I try to go lower.
I am also managing chronic pain with this now.
The doctors will not prescribe me morphine anymore...they say that bupe is all they can give me now.
The law has changed (at least in my state) and the medical people can only give opiates/ opioids to people dying from cancer.

I still have chronic pain that I must manage....or the same thing happens.
Sweating, can’t eat, can’t sleep, just hurting all the time.

I guess we will see what my doctor says when I go back.

 

[somnilicious]

In for the win!! 2.5yrs on methadone and heroin free.... Dopeless hope fiend, hugs not drugs, liquid hand cuffed and proud, footloose and Fenty free... Who's with me. High 5 to the sober(ish) bee hive