the only time im hapoy is when im asleep

[bbgirlclueless]

U dont have to reply,maybe im just venting here,but when im awake i have absolutely no idea what to do.i feel like a lost kid at a circus.im depressed and feel incapable of being useful to anyone.i feel guilt and self disgust for using and anxiety issues.i look at peopld amd think how lucky people are,they dont have my kind of ocd.i try to sleep as much as possible,only at that time im normal and like other girls.i took my opiate and benzo...and dont hate myself much right now

 

[uno22]

You sound like a girl I used to date. Talk to a therapist maybe? What opiate / benzo did you take and how much of each? Be careful with that combo. I hope you start to feel better soon. Let me know if you want to chat about anything.

 

[spork]

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad, hun. No one deserves to feel that way.

I've been in a similar situation and slept soooo much that I really didn't do much else. I know when I was feeling that way, I tended to stay in my apartment and avoid people. When I filled up my schedule a bit more things started to improve. What do you do when you're awake? If you're not seeking help for your depression and OCD, I'd definitely recommend that you do so. Things won't always be this way and you have the power to live a better life.

 

[Lilunwell]

Sorry you are so depressed as well. I too have been severely depressed as well. Mine is due to a 10 year opiate addiction coming to a screeching halt. Today is day 10 with no opiates. I hope depression leaves me soon. And I hope yours does as well. Keep your head up and try and stay busy. That kinda helps me.

 

[Ochkhuu]

I can relate... I am unhappy much of the time when I am awake and always look forward to drifting back into dreams

 

[endlessnameless]

I tried sleeping my life away for two years; no drugs, no social interaction and only leaving my room to eat. I eventually stopped washing and eating and had I continued I would have died but fortunately there was a kind of intervention set up for me and my family got me in touch with a psychiatrist which was the start of the improvement. Please consider seeking out somewhere you can go for some therapy, bbgirlclueless. It seems depression has rendered you completely incapable of helping yourself and unless you make the effort to at least speak to a qualified professional about it you will end up wasting away the next few years of your life.

I cant stress enough how much I can empathise with your situation and I hope you can find the strength to seek out professional help because when it comes to the point where your life comes to a complete hault and all you want to do is sleep all day every day, you need it.

Feel free to message me any time if you'd like someone to talk to. Please do take care.

 

[mrflowers00]

i used to look forward to sleep more than anything but when i actually go out and do something i have a much better time than i would sleeping

 

[SixStrongLines]

The King, does not dream about being King, that is for the begger man
try not isolate yourself, try to go outside, even if your alone, take in the fresh oxygen while its still free
acceptance is key to all healing

 

[Pagey]

You sound depressed - I would definitely recommend therapy if you haven't tried already. It hasn't been very helpful for me lately but did wonders for me a few years ago - I remember having one single session with a new therapist and just that one hour with her made me realize I was anorexic and got me out of it. Pretty impressive.
Also, I know you surely feel like there's nothing you want to do anymore, like all your old interests in things/hobbies are gone, but you should force yourself to do them anyway. If you continue to pursue these interests, even though it'll feel like forced labor at first, it'll pay back in the end.
When you're feeling particularly down, I'd recommend writing out all your thoughts and emotions. This always gets me into a clearer state of mind and makes me realize that sometimes I'm misinterpreting things that are making me feel upset, or that maybe I'm mad at myself for no reason. It really does help. Sometimes what comes out in writing when you're depressed can also be transformed into a great story as well because it's so heartfelt and genuine - I've done that a few times and it made me feel really happy with myeslf.

On another note, it's good you can at least get real nights of sleep/enjoy sleeping - I haven't had a nightmare-free night for months and I usually only sleep about 4 nights a week anyway