ok this is a really long one(i hope someone reads it
), all part of one long song i wrote about 6 years ago.
i know my heart encloses picture perfect roses
but deep down its black too much a disturbed soul
still forced to be bold--i kept my ass out the cold
of the dark and lonely streets--i repeat i aint ghetto--
i just dont got enough air to breathe
troubled crazy in still waters
treating my sisters liek they my daughters
i always took care of the family as i grew
but until now to me i seem see-thru
not even i can relate to what I been thru
i guess to me its always seemed untrue
but to add deeper thought to this issue
think of a small white kid livin 2 deep
acceptin streets as his own with accomplished feets
between the time it takes me to recover i deplete--
any energy i got left with no pieces of me left to forget
i accept who i became i got no shame
from these days on forward jehovah i proclaim
with my brain i cant sustain--so many insidious thoughts
my whole mind is twisted in knots with non-stop shots
this is to deep for even my courageous heart to spot
im caught up in hideous actions--creating enemy factions
beggin for death--not even to mention crystal meth's resets--
to my body--contrary to popular belief my emotions cease
for amusement--all i got is anger realtin my pen to paper
im all alone in life--no one to keep me around despite--
any good feelings i got my hatred ignites
parents permitted promiscuous activity's
its killin me inside tearin me to pieces--my rage is worldwide
black and ready for warfare collide!
poetry is my soul mate i use words to relate to fate
this puts me back in feelings correct place
i decided to embrace death instead of pushin it away
learned to use it for strength instead of weakness
go ahead kill me!--ill feel completed--fuck ya guilt
my life is cheated way before i knew wat was goin on
i knew i was defeated--no point in givin up
surrounded by despair but u can always tell that im not aware
for what this world has done to me there's no repair--
but still they force me to prepare!
cant we just forget anguish and make this world transmit legit views
but instead the youth stays confused--refused they talent
aint no more gallantry just fucked up reality's
every second the evil demons comin after me
i cant take the weight of society it causes social anxiety
so instead i stick to musical variety--
it calms down! deep down stirrin--but up to this point
my whole life seems blurred-n-i cant take it anymore
i deplore faggots comin knockin at the door...
come to get parts of me that i ignore
i wish this feeling would just go away instead it stays blowin sprays
that leave me nothing but amazed--to me im crazed
always stayin blazed and spaced i just feel like bein replaced
by someone who can enjoy what i got--to me life just dont mean alot
im pained all day everyday some days i hope and pray
for my curses to be lifted--but then fuck being gifted...i drifted--
from any lyrics that coulda been bits and pieces to be released in
instead i just sit here and sin spittin angry verses that nurses my hate
for any debate i decided to create this place im in
now i disavow anything anone says to me...
i guarantee--u said something incredibly useless
i stress that this whole world is totally repressed
wat did we do to be transgressed? but you see me?
i posses knowledge to be understanding
so while we sit here demanding im making something of myself
so quit repremanding
any given second i stand on my own 2 so let me tell myself what--is--true
we have the right to pursue dreams livin in hapiness is wat we make it seem
