Christmas ended on a better note then it started on, that's for sure. Yesterday before I could even wake up my day already had went to shit. This is because my mother's husband walked into my room and saw on the floor some paraphernalia and my medication (suboxone) that I take when needed to manage my cravings. Well...my family has thought I was completely off suboxone for months now, which was true. But I recently started taking it again because I found myself craving and it was the only thing that would make them go away. My family freaked out because they don't look at it as me "getting better" but rather "replacing one drug with another" which is true but they need understand I am not / can't get high off this medication even if I wanted to and if that is what I need to do occasionally to make it through the day then so be it, at least I'm sober.
Anyway, after getting caught with that he also thought I was using again and blah, blah, blah. Even made my mom start crying and shit, just making my life hell like he knows how to be. When we were opening presents there was such tension in the air, the whole night was like that. It sucked really. Once everyone left I thought for sure there was going to be some lecture and I would be threatened again to be kicked out. I watched District 9 with my cousin downstairs to avoid my grandparents for awhile and not sure if it worked but to my surprise...they didn't end up talking to me. Not sure if it's because everyone is just keeping quite or if they are just waiting for the "right time".
After the movie I just went to my room and listened to some Red Bar Radio, DJ mix sets, and just smoked to relax. Adrian had been texting me throughout the day too and wanted to hang out which I was down for, I never really get to hang out with my friends much more anyway so I could use the company.
Once again though my family always gives me shit about whenever I want to go hang out with friends. They act as if I am lying to them and going to get all fucked up or something. Which I've never ever got in trouble when I was out with friends, believe it or not I am responsible, and they just refuse to see that. So what ended up happening was I went to "have a cig" outside and Adrian came around the block to meet me and we talked for 20min then later decided that after the family had fallen asleep I would come back out and kick with him for awhile.
We kicked till about 3am then I went home because I had to be to work by 9am the next morning. Had the hardest fucking time falling asleep then when I got up this morning I was lucky and got up with 15min to spare before I was going to be late which I still ended up being late anyway because of the road conditions here. But I always make up for the time I am late for, if I come in late then I stay late so the people I work with usually won't complain and it's not like I'm super late all the time. I get here around the "general time" which seems to be OK.
My co-worker was also telling me that they might no longer have me working Sundays because out general manager doesn't think I'm doing enough "work" which even the operations manager and my co-worker seem to think that I should be here because one person taking phones and dispatching two cities, although is manageable at times has its moments where there just has to be two people here. All I can do is cross my fingers though and just hope my GM can see that I do work when I am in here Sundays.
Anyway, after getting caught with that he also thought I was using again and blah, blah, blah. Even made my mom start crying and shit, just making my life hell like he knows how to be. When we were opening presents there was such tension in the air, the whole night was like that. It sucked really. Once everyone left I thought for sure there was going to be some lecture and I would be threatened again to be kicked out. I watched District 9 with my cousin downstairs to avoid my grandparents for awhile and not sure if it worked but to my surprise...they didn't end up talking to me. Not sure if it's because everyone is just keeping quite or if they are just waiting for the "right time".
After the movie I just went to my room and listened to some Red Bar Radio, DJ mix sets, and just smoked to relax. Adrian had been texting me throughout the day too and wanted to hang out which I was down for, I never really get to hang out with my friends much more anyway so I could use the company.
Once again though my family always gives me shit about whenever I want to go hang out with friends. They act as if I am lying to them and going to get all fucked up or something. Which I've never ever got in trouble when I was out with friends, believe it or not I am responsible, and they just refuse to see that. So what ended up happening was I went to "have a cig" outside and Adrian came around the block to meet me and we talked for 20min then later decided that after the family had fallen asleep I would come back out and kick with him for awhile.
We kicked till about 3am then I went home because I had to be to work by 9am the next morning. Had the hardest fucking time falling asleep then when I got up this morning I was lucky and got up with 15min to spare before I was going to be late which I still ended up being late anyway because of the road conditions here. But I always make up for the time I am late for, if I come in late then I stay late so the people I work with usually won't complain and it's not like I'm super late all the time. I get here around the "general time" which seems to be OK.
My co-worker was also telling me that they might no longer have me working Sundays because out general manager doesn't think I'm doing enough "work" which even the operations manager and my co-worker seem to think that I should be here because one person taking phones and dispatching two cities, although is manageable at times has its moments where there just has to be two people here. All I can do is cross my fingers though and just hope my GM can see that I do work when I am in here Sundays.