Social The mentality and thinking in being a sex-worker - ?

[JohnBoy2000]

^^ None of the above.

My primary interest is neurology; and sexual function, performance, drive, interest, orientation etc., all these these are mediated through this area.

Understanding sex work is simply understanding neurology, from a somewhat unconventional/novel point-of-view.

.......

Like that experience where you observed an almost autonomous sexualized response from sex-workers on a combination of stimulants and psychedelics.

The brain function/activity such a combination would elicit, through the "prism" as it were, of their physio/neurological conditioning (acquired through their daily work) - that's clearly indicative of an alteration in convention neurological conditioning from someone who is..... not a sex worker.

Unfortunately because of the rules of SLR subforum, discussion on the topic must be limited.


Example: one previous poster clearly says, "it's like a tug-of-war, I want to be challenged".

But then of course mention of references such as the "emotional edge" is not allowed.

Which I understand.

 

[Joey]

Just don't think about it. You're proividing a service and the money is seperate no matter what. For my sanity.

 

[Eligiu]

I know that @JohnBoy2000 has a longstanding theoretical and applied interest in understanding human sexuality. He has maintained one of most extensive and regularly updated BL blogs for years dedicated to his thinking on these matters.

Personally I think it’s a good thing that he has made the move from compiling his own thoughts largely for himself in the blog and ventured into the main forums in an attempt to elicit the knowledge and opinions of other people and feed that into his project.

I kind of saw this thread as maybe ‘baby steps’, for want of a better term, in mainstreaming (in BL at least), his work.

That said, I have also thought there is an unacknowledged subtext in this thread regarding @JohnBoy2000 ’s experience with, and subequent feelings about, sex workers as paying customer. I did give him a prod earlier on to be more transparent about this. However, he indicated he is uncomfortable discussing such things in a public forum - which is not unreasonable.

My hypothesis, and it is a very loose one as I do not know @JohnBoy2000 very or much about his life, is that he has come to perceive women, specifically through the singular lens of their sexuality and sex-linked behaviour as a mysterious and possibly malevolent ‘unknowable other’.

I find this perspective, which is actually not that uncommon amongst BL members if you read through a few years of SLR posts, hard to understand as I am much more comfortable with women than I am with men and connect with them far more easily. I tend not to separate the world into males and females except when there is some pragmatic, practical, or common sense reason to do so (or it is a question of my own sexual interests).

So I’d kind of give @JohnBoy2000 a bit of credit for being up-front and fairly transparent about his prejudices. And further credit for making the quite brave and socially risky move of working through them in public and inviting others to participate.

Look all that is very fair to state and I can agree he should be commended for doing it in a public forum.

But I honestly started struggling a bit when he wasn't responding to any of the posters who had experiences which ran contrary to his position. Not namely me, I'd state I fall squarely outside of his research data set into an unexplored other category. Perhaps something of interest for another time, exploring male sex workers.

But a couple of women proclaimed quite loudly that they did sex work because they liked doing it, it was well paid for what it is, or whatever reason they provided.

And he didn't really engage with that.

It honestly came off as a bit of a run to dig at sex worker woman and devalue their career choice as being driven by some kind of errant impulsive desire which is innate to only that sex.

I don't buy it. @arrall pointed out superbly early that sex workers of other genders exist. If there is a common drive to be a sex worker, I would understand it to operate across gendered divides and unite them.

I can't comment on exactly what it may be, as my reasons for engaging are vastly different from another person's and we won't find common ground without another laborious discussion, but I would perceive a question including men and trans men and women and trans women and whoever else as shedding more light on the real motivation for this job

 

[JohnBoy2000]

Look all that is very fair to state and I can agree he should be commended for doing it in a public forum.

But I honestly started struggling a bit when he wasn't responding to any of the posters who had experiences which ran contrary to his position. Not namely me, I'd state I fall squarely outside of his research data set into an unexplored other category. Perhaps something of interest for another time, exploring male sex workers.

But a couple of women proclaimed quite loudly that they did sex work because they liked doing it, it was well paid for what it is, or whatever reason they provided.

And he didn't really engage with that.

It honestly came off as a bit of a run to dig at sex worker woman and devalue their career choice as being driven by some kind of errant impulsive desire which is innate to only that sex.

I don't buy it. @arrall pointed out superbly early that sex workers of other genders exist. If there is a common drive to be a sex worker, I would understand it to operate across gendered divides and unite them.

I can't comment on exactly what it may be, as my reasons for engaging are vastly different from another person's and we won't find common ground without another laborious discussion, but I would perceive a question including men and trans men and women and trans women and whoever else as shedding more light on the real motivation for this job

I was kind of semi-paying-attention to this thread as by far my primary focus is on other consideration and contributions.

If there were posts I didn't respond to it was almost certainly because my attention was elsewhere so I prioritized but, any comments made were most certainly assessed.
It's probable I did make reference to them in some capacity to bolster an argument in relation to the topic, without necessarily having quoted the post.


Additionally, I have a limited amount of energy and focus.

For this reason, it becomes far far easier to contribute to topics such as this when I'm under the influence of a moderately dosed cognitive-enhancer (I had been using amphetamine sulphate, but just now used a low dose of 25 mg meth, to excellent effect).

This allows me to process a backlog of information it had been difficult to before.


The comments as to why a hot/sweet lady may prioritize "liaison" with a "bad-boy" was a question I had taken into significant consideration, well determined to find a substantive/valid answer to.

A poster here ( @Kellsee ) mentioned she had a history of doing so because,

"I can relate to them, I know where they're coming from because I come from the same place".

In perspective of this, in other areas of consideration I had been attempting to determine the appeal behind "bullying" and its management.

When I say "bad boys", that's often the case; they're bullies.

So why would a sweet/hot lady validate, perhaps even encourage a bully?

- As to the blue statement - familiarity.


cont:

 

[JohnBoy2000]

- The aforementioned poster outlined it was familiarity with "who they were", ability to relate to them = communication/contact.

..........

I went to get my eyebrows waxed today.

- This beautiful little 24 year old girl did it.
What was apparent when I went into the clinic was, she was kind of....... "radiating waves of contempt".

i.e. she had a chip on her shoulder.

Young, hot, chip-on-shoulder = a general description of the type of girl that dates/validates "bad-boys" and bullies.

Over the course of the session, we spoke and became familiar with one another and it wasn't long before her "radiating waves of contempt" had become a friendly, smiling and personable vibe.

But what occurred to me was - these "bad boys", they have that same chip on their shoulder.

They're aggressive and mean, they give a hard time to those who are merely vulnerable to them (to emotionally unload, due to their poor ability to emotionally-express = poor cognitive-function), it's extremely harmful.

- But, there is a mutual sense of relatability between the two demographics.

1) young, hot ladies. Chip on the shoulder, want to emotionally unload.

2) bullies, aggressive, bad attitude, will emotionally unload on anyone that isn't consolidated enough to defend against them

=

Relatability between the two.

- Mentally, cognitively, they can relate to one another. Therefore I guess they just end up together.

- And of course such unions are as described by many who've experienced them - "toxic".

Degenerative.

But so is the rationale as to how they come about.


cont:

 

[JohnBoy2000]

- And of course, a chip-on-shoulder based line of communication, it does not lend itself to positive emotional state;

i.e. the sex is NOT going to be particularly good.

- That being said, in the absence of ability to adequately relate to a non-bully, it may be a case of it's better than the next-available-option.


- With myself and this hottie who waxed my eyebrows today, given my optimized emotional application and state, I was effectively able to overcompensate for her lack of ability to emotionally-express herself.

-> despite my not having a chip on my shoulder, and her seeing me as such and initially attempting to express her own maligance on me (good guy, easy target?),

-> my emotional competence was such that I was able to manage the situation optimally, resulting in an outcome of congeniality and positive, uplifting communication for both of us.


- What I conclude is that, degenerative sexual unions result from a mutually regressive/destructive and poor quality emotional expression.

- The sex will not be good.

- But realistically the only means for "good progressive man" to get good sex from a "young hot lady with a chip on her shoulder" is to be so emotionally competent he can generate positive communication, despite her complete emotional-incompetence.


i.e. optimal emotional expression = pivotal to a productive and non-toxic, happy progressive union and relationship.

Conversely, poor emotional expression = weak, unhappy, vulnerable, or maladaptive emotional expression is destructive.

 

[JohnBoy2000]

A beautiful depiction of this situation is I believe outlined in the flick "Casino" (Rob DeNiro and Sharon Stone).

- Sharon Stones character Ginger, she has a crush on this absolute drug-addled degenerate (what was his name.....), "Leister Diamond".

So she ends up getting married to DeNiro's character, Sam Rothstein, to whom she clearly states, "I don't have them type of feelings for you, I don't love you", but he persists and marries her anyways.

- Then of course, degeneracy doing what it does best, "Ginger" and "Leister" conspire to basically ruin Mr Rothstein.


i.e. a couple degenerates end up resenting and wanting to ruin a stand up dude (as the film portrays him at least).


- But the fact remains that "Ginger" could relate to "Leister" through their shared hatred and resentful dysfunction of people and society, they both shared the underhanded hustle/sleaze/bully ways to emotionally express, maladaptively;

but could never relate to "Sam".

Therefore she was able to emotionally express herself with the degenerate through familiarity, experience love and caring, intimacy.

She was not able to experience this with good-guy "Sam".


i.e. it is necessary to establish good emotional-expression, if one wishes to lead a productive, functional, healthy/happy and non regressive/degenerate life;

not base their relatability to others on familiarity, but rather adept emotional-expression.

 

[arrall]

i.e. the sex is NOT going to be particularly good.

You'd really be surprised by how good the sex can be in a toxic relationship or hookup.

 

[arrall]

@JohnBoy2000 This could be the vodka talking, but your analysis seems a lot more spot-on than usual. I do not believe that this dynamic is limited to the "bad boy" role being filled by a male and the other role being filled by a female, but you are presenting some very interesting theories on this type of dynamic nonetheless.

 

[Atomic_Decay]

Fuck This Thread

What’s the mentality of a man who visits sex workers and chokes them out?

What’s the mentality of a man who visits sex workers and pisses all over their possessions, rifles their bag for cash, and then leaves as they shower?

What’s the mentality of a man who visits sex workers and chooses the smallest girl possible because they always find his big dick painful.

What’s the mentality of a man who visits sex workers and anally rapes them?

What’s the mentality of a man who visits sex workers and secretly removes his condom knowing he has an STD?

What’s the mentality of a man who visits sex workers and then writes detailed reviews online about how bad they are?

What’s the mentality of a man who visits sex workers and cums on their face without asking

What’s the mentality of a man who visits sex workers and cums in their mouths when specifically asked not to?

What’s the mentality of a man who visits sex workers on meth and holds their head forcing them to suck his flaccid cock for 5 hours without rest?

What’s the mentality of a who who visits sex workers high on meth and viagra and fucks them like a jackhammer for 5 hours without rest despite their obvious pain?

Because this shit is just another day at work for some of my friends. Most of whom do sex work because it is the only way they have any hope of raising the money to pay off debts incurred by their fathers, brothers, or husbands in the mysogynistic patriarchal culture that is China. Or the only way they can create any kind of safety and future for their children when abandoned by the men that fathered them.

You want to know what in their heads? What their mentality is? It is Duty, it is Responsibiliy, it is Accountability, it is Selflessness, it is Familial Love, it is Maternal Love.

You want to know what is in their hearts? It is Despair, Self-loathing, and Fear.

There is fuck-all room left for any other feelings and that won’t change once they stop work and and return home either.

 

[Byzek]

Im very curious about gay escorting.
I live in berlin so I guess there would be some clients.
But Im not so experienced in sex and the only thing why I would do that is because of the money.
Im not the sort of guy who needs the money to survive, just interesting in having quick money
Not every man turns me on, dont know how that will work.
Im thinking more of bdsm i would be a master or stuff like that or the boyfriend-type of guy.
What do you think about that?
In escorting: is there just sex and bye or do some clients wanna hang out and chill and blablA?
I see sex esvorting a lil bit like social working.
People are lonely and need some love.
They are too lazy or they dont have so much time or too unattractive or whatever to look up for a date ....
Welll....
I think I could do well in that, or at least playing this love thing boyfriend blabla because im naturally very sweet and shit.
But im sorry for the transguy, your story touches my heart a lil bit