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Mental Health The Mental Health Social vs a place for our voices

GBM said:
Well this is awkward. When I'm not on my meds I hear and see cats EVERYWHERE. FUCKING CATS. lmfao. Kind of funny actually, annoying when im trying to sleep and it sounds like theres 6 cats in my room.
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That sounds annoying. My kitty meows at like 5am when he's hungry. So loud!
 
Pretty_Diamonds said:
That sounds annoying. My kitty meows at like 5am when he's hungry. So loud!
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My cat has adjusted to my (terrible) sleeping habits and she will sleep as long as I do. At worst, she starts annoying me for food around 5pm these days, so she never wakes me up. Although when I first adopted her she used to attack me in my sleep when she was hungry.
 
Hey everybody, I just found this forum that is sponsored by Mad in America while searching for something for a BL member. I didn't know it existed, but I love Mad in America's radio show that plays in a few public stations around the country. Here is the link.

Hope everybody is having a great Saturday (Sunday for some of you!). I have been working in my yard and for the first time, I feel fall in the air. It always makes me melancholy. I like the word melancholy because it is sadness with a bit of beauty wrapped around it.;)
 
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Hey herbie, great to see you around here!

It's still all sunny over here today, but fall is on its way, that's for sure. Change is in the air and I love it.

<3
 
You guys seem so positive. I feel lame ha. I had a bad night, and felt physically ill all morning, and still haven't slept (must be nearly 36 hours now, after almost a full day of napping to boot; my sleep habits are horrendous), and I just feel weird. Shit gets weirder when I don't sleep, but I just don't feel like it. I try when I don't want to sometimes, but I can't. And then I get to this point where I forget about it. Then eventually I startreallyseriously losing my grounding and end up either decoding secret languages in the tv or music or passing out exhausted after purposely tiringmyself out physically during a lucid moment. I feel like all my memories are concreting. Like, I guess they're becoming outside thoughtforms? I can almost hear some of my old best friends who I've disappeared, but it's not out loud in my head, it's like a shadow of a voice, like a felt conversation.. And I'm pissed that addressing head-on my bullshit thinking doesn't make it obviously dumb to me anymore.. I used to be able to say it out loud when I was wigging out, and I'd be like, "Woah, that's ridiculous.", and it'd stop, but it almost seems like nowadays when I address it, it only solidifes everything. There's been loud people outside all day, unintelligible random chatter, and somebody knocked, and I fucking freaked out.I was sitting there hiding behind the couch, and I run-crawled to my room, and I changed my clothes(?), and they knocked again (plus I kinda realized I was being weird), so I crept to the peephole to check, and it was just a neighbor friend. He only stayed for a second even though he had originally dropped by to kick it, because I think I was obviously distracted and creepin him out.. I hate how some people get bugged when I'm buggin.. I feel like I might be infectious. I think I might be a virus, like a computer virus inside reality. Because outside people would objectively call me whack, but whenever I talk to somone, since I'm smart and eloquent and confident, they just believe me and reinforce my bizareeness, and I think I might not be able to die anymore now that I've realized I'd just wake up again, even if it's in another body. I also think I might even be needed elsewhere.... I've had a weird day...
 
Hi !! lol. If we arn't positive then we're negative and that's not a fun way to be. (even if you're faking the positive ish ;) )

So you're having sleeping issues? Are they related to recent use or are they like persistent long term issues? Maybe see a doctor about getting a prescription to help you sleep. Or try out melatonin suppliments and chamomile tea at night (I always found chamomile extremely relaxing). I too suffer with sleep anxieties. From what you have to say, you sound just like me. It's normal, we're all weird. I think we just need to learn how to be comfortable with our own weirdness or we'll just weird ourselves and others out lol.

Hope you start feeling better, you always have a place here to chat and vent <3.
 
I've tried all the apothecary, and pharmaceuticals are negative on my end for sure.
Thanks though. I just like to yell sometimes I guess. Sometimes, too many people are supportive. Don't you just want it to be okay that you're fucking fucked sometimes? I mean, everyone is like, "yah shaman, yah CogSci, yah Icarus", and I'm sittin' here thinking, "these people are so condescending, and pussies pussyfooting, fucking faggots, I hate being treated like I'm special, I'm not dumb, but it's like there's rational empirical Me and then Woah, what the fuck, who ate you?!, and I'm tired of this body a lot.

Potential ain't manifest.
 
I've gotten back into cutting again ... I haven't done this since high school (grade 9 actually) and I'm 22 right now. I don't do it for attention, I do it because I'd rather focus on that pain than any emotional pain.
 
Thanks ad lib, I'll check out that thread tomorrow when I have more time.
I remember in grade 9, I was being bullied and picked on a lot. I stopped in grade 10 when I moved to a different high school and I was not picked on anymore. But this isn't the case (fortunately or unfortunately, I don't know). I actually have an awesome life. The most amazing boyfriend and an awesome job that I love. But some things get me down.... and just recently I felt the need to cut again. Not a lot. But both my wrists, I can't wear short sleeves at all (in the middle of summer....). Ugh :(
 
i'm taking a tolerance break from my meds i'm gonna be a fucking mess i'm so scared but it has to happen 10 years of abuse have left my tolerance insanely high so i need to get things in check but i'm afraid of my mental and psychical well being i have some slipped disks in my neck and back bipolar disorder schizophrenia panic disorder and slight agoraphobia
 
Good luck with your break mrflowers. It's difficult when you know you need to take a break to ensure the effectiveness of your medications, because you remember what it's like when you're not on them. Sending positive vibes your way
 
I was summoned for jury duty today. I am having a panic attack at the moment over it. I have always had the excuse of school but I don't think I will be capable of sitting in a court room at this time in my life. I am considering asking my psychiatrist for a note explaining my social anxiety disorder. Ugh
 
Yeah, I'd ask your psychiatrist how to handle it. Something to consider with jury duty also is that most cases get settled out of court. Chances are you wouldn't even have to sit in a court room at all. Deep breaths, honey. <3
 
I'm going to call them tomorrow and ask. I really really can't handle being a member of a jury--not right now.

<3 Thanks sporkzola
 
I've thankfully never been asked for jury duty yet (watch, tomorrow I'm going to get something in the mail saying I must appear), but I don't think I'd be able to handle that either. That is way too much stress and pressure. Hope everything works out ok for you star <3
 
Am I the only person in the world that *wants* to be called for jury duty? lol Sure, it's a pain in the ass but I think it'd be interesting and enlightening to be a part of the justice system like that. Of course I say that now, but I know I'd be flipping out if I actually had to do it. I was called a couple times for it, but I was in school once and everything was settled out of court the other time.
 
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