holy balls i feel sooooooo good right now. the 150mg is STILL kicking in, i can totally feel it now. this is the nicest sensation ever. i just parachuted another 150mg to experiment and because i wanted to try a rec dose. as soon as i swallowed the 2nd cap i felt the first one REALLY kicking in. there isnt even a need for a second one but i can imagine ill feel even better. wow this shit is amazing. i feel like god; for someone with anxiety, merely being normal/not intoxicated without the anxiety feels supreme but there is something else to this which feels incredibly pleasant. its NOT just taking away anxiety, it is making me feel so relaxed. like the cleanest benzo ever. i think im falling in love.
after years and years of shit drugs i have finally found it. this is better than any crap SSRI, better than xanax, and i dare say even better than heroin. better than the latter simply because i feel functional and am not nodding off in the middle of converation. heroin is surely better for getting high, but for my intentions this is vastly better. for treating anxiety this is much better than heroin since it doesnt have the side effects.
my typing is so fluid as well. i had a conversation with someone and instead of my impulse to look at the ground and avoid eye contact i smoothly conversed with confidence. WOW, i feel good. i have a feeling i will put on weight though.
QUESTION: how does this affect sexual performance? i forgot my lexapro the other day and that night i had the best sex i can remember in so long. i think this dampens sexual functioning, right? i also heard that it causes birth defects in children when the FATHER is taking it. THAT is simply fucked up. jesus. thilidomide, anyone? well, i better not get my girl pregant. that is the worst thing i can imagine, seriously. how heart breaking. my god i would be so affected. i just got very emotional about that. hmm. well, im rambling for sure. it feels good though. i could keep writing forever. i love you all. what!? did i just say that!? what the fuck? ok, that was bizarre.