The Longest Its Ever Been..

[totach]

Yea man seeing shit you are feeling typed out by someone else is a surreal feeling.
Like ive said bluelight has helped me so much in the past you can see old threads ive made from when i was trying to get clean years ago the one thing i can never learn how to deal with is cravings
As soon as i get one sometimes it takes two weeks but im right out the door im having that problem today but instead of running out the door i came here.
I really wanna do it this time but today im scared i really am i dont want to fail.
I am really proud of you tho man you are helping me out alot i read your post in the sober thread and it woke me up that evrey addict will get cravings and we just have to fight it off.
I always think to myself that my cravings are worse then others so i can.justify my using but im sure theres people that get it worse and still do not get high i want to be that person and i will be that person
Thanx D and you are doing amazing

 

[love88]

oh noo, Love88...!! that's okay! you are strong. I know you can do it. I just had a mini mental breakdown just now, just afraid to use and thwart this many days in a row. please try again,
use the sub and ween of while u exersice, ween down low! like .5 every third day before you jump off..but think about the present, don't let this set back control you.

Hey thanks for ur encouragement! Yes I will try again.... im always "trying again". I can never make it past like 4 consecutive days. Tho this week I have a new 'plan' and am jus goin to try n focus on this 2 week period and see what happens. I don't expect I make the whole 14 days clean, but what I hope for is 4 or 5 days clean, then if I slip up, go right back to clean days. And I'm jus doin it in a 2 week time frame so i don't stress.
So I'd be happy with 4 or 5 days clean,then if I slip up for a day or 2 (day or 2 is better then a week or 2. Usually I'd slip up and jus stay using for weeks. So If I can jump rite back on the wagon after a day or so, I'd be really happy) then get another 4 or 5 or maybe even 6 days clean and that would bring me to 2 weeks.

Really hoping this works!!! I feel pretty good about it. I need to get this shit goin. Uhggg I need to start gettn use to jus feeling blaahh. That days r jus normal. That I shouldn't be "looking forward" to that feeling after taking something..especially on days that seem to drag, so u spice it up by taking Somthing. So now ur not use to being "normal". That's the hardest part

Stay strong! U got this!

 

[CfZrx]

Hi D, congrats! I kept trying over and over and finally stayed clean long enough to be able to see how trapped I had really been. Today is day 18! Please keep BL posted on your recovery Love88 good luck, neverSICK, great to have your support! good night crew, CfZ

 

[love88]

Hey guys how's it goin?! Jus wanted to check in. I'm on day one again . Even though it's day 1, I felt like I handled my anxitey pretty good today. I told myself "not today, I can use tomorrow". But I obv hope that tomorrow I can tell myself the same thing n keep it goin.
I started w the gaba again, wondering if that also helped with the anxiousness I also had off work today so I think that helped. I hate having to do ur first 24 when u have to go to work. My anxiety is like a 20 lol
So I guess see what happens. Like I really need to get on a roll... I needed to a long time ago. I need to get this in check... Like now!