The Joke Thread

[Mugz]

what does jade goody and a easter egg have in common??

1. their both hairless
2. their shape like an egg
3. they will both be in a box by april

 

[tekkeN]

^

What's the difference between the French and toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast

 

[FRANK CANNON]

What do you call two raincoats in a cemetery?

Max Bygraves.

 

[cletus]

Granny & grandad are sitting at the breakfast table.

Granny says "Do you know... my nipples are as hot for you today as they were 50 years ago?"

Grandad says "Course they fuckin' are... one's in your coffee, the other's in your fuckin' porridge!"

 

[captain codshit]

Austrian women are like chedder... best left to mature in the celler...

 

[UnfortunateSquid]

^ On a related note, the McCanns could have learnt a think or two from Fritzl about keeping an eye on their daughter!

 

[captain codshit]

It is now illegal to wear your clothes on the wrong part of
your body.

Take Gary Glitter for example; he was jailed for putting a
Thai on his cock.

 

[captain codshit]

Joseph Fritzel was having a bbq one day, and one of the guests told him they were running low on beer.
"Don't worry" he replied, "we've got plenty of Tennents in the cellar."

 

[UnfortunateSquid]

^ That is the shittest joke I have heard all week, congrats

 

[TheSpade]

It's so bad it's funny.

 

[masaz]

I love this thread

 

[captain codshit]

There are honestly worse ones than that!!! I'll leave the fritzl jokes alone now though, wouldnt want people thinkin im a sicko :D

 

[bogman]

JADE GOODY is only being in heaven 5 nights
and is already up for eviction

 

[cletus]

Coincidence?

 

[spindizzy]

I dont know if this one has been said - I havent read through this thread yet.

Whats the difference between a goat and cancer?

Jade Goody cant milk a goat.

 

[Treacle]

Only about three times.

 

[DS_]

I heard that Elton John is going to release a charity record for Jade Goody.
It'll be called "Cancer in the Minge".

 

[DS_]

What follows a K-head around an takes the piss out of them?

A Catheter.

Boom-tish!

 

[UnfortunateSquid]

It's funnier if you change "K-head" to "old granny".

 

[bogman]

how do you wake LADY GAGA
poke her face