Springtime is here, and it's a bag of mixed blessings. On one hand, I can stop wearing sweatpants and 3 layers of socks around the house. On the other hand, the invasion is about to begin. During the first couple of weeks of April, for as long as I can remember, the insect and small mammals mount a tactical assault on my mom's 40+ year old rowhouse.
Ants, spidercrickets, cockroaches lead the charge. The mice are not as bad in this house. Thankfully I only see 1-2 of those little fuckers per year. Spidercrickets however, are the absolute worst. It's not uncommon for me to open the door to my room (in the basement of course, the natural habitat of drug addict failures such as myself) and spot 10-20 spidercrickets spread out all over the place.
They are roughly the size of a cockroach and they can jump 2 feet in the air. This ability makes them especially hard to kill. I've actually seen these alien-demon bugs jump into people's hair, and into their mouths, and onto plates of food. May almighty Yahweh himself please wipe them from the surface of this earth, amen.
On a serious note, I do not enjoy living in this house. It is a very filthy place. My mom is too depressed to clean anything, or cook anything. Garbage bags piles up on the kitchen floor until it stinks so bad, someone is forced to get rid of it. Tiny civilizations are slowly forming out of the 14 different types of mold that covers our only shower. It's really really dirty.
Lately, my mom has been so down, she can't even cook herself food, let alone clean anything. She'll just pour a bowl of cereal and stare at the TV. And this happens every single night. Once upon a time, I used to think that if I could make my mother happy if I went out into the world and became successful, but that was a long time ago. That was before my dad let me know that "she's always been like this and she always will."
If I cant find someone to help me clean this place, this year's invasion will be the worst one ever.
Ants, spidercrickets, cockroaches lead the charge. The mice are not as bad in this house. Thankfully I only see 1-2 of those little fuckers per year. Spidercrickets however, are the absolute worst. It's not uncommon for me to open the door to my room (in the basement of course, the natural habitat of drug addict failures such as myself) and spot 10-20 spidercrickets spread out all over the place.
They are roughly the size of a cockroach and they can jump 2 feet in the air. This ability makes them especially hard to kill. I've actually seen these alien-demon bugs jump into people's hair, and into their mouths, and onto plates of food. May almighty Yahweh himself please wipe them from the surface of this earth, amen.
On a serious note, I do not enjoy living in this house. It is a very filthy place. My mom is too depressed to clean anything, or cook anything. Garbage bags piles up on the kitchen floor until it stinks so bad, someone is forced to get rid of it. Tiny civilizations are slowly forming out of the 14 different types of mold that covers our only shower. It's really really dirty.
Lately, my mom has been so down, she can't even cook herself food, let alone clean anything. She'll just pour a bowl of cereal and stare at the TV. And this happens every single night. Once upon a time, I used to think that if I could make my mother happy if I went out into the world and became successful, but that was a long time ago. That was before my dad let me know that "she's always been like this and she always will."
If I cant find someone to help me clean this place, this year's invasion will be the worst one ever.