The Illusion!

[Lone Deranger]

So, today, at this moment, i'm starting a battle which i have been fighting, and losing badly, for the last three years of my life, against this great illusion called opioids.

Every time i could manage to stop for some time, i started using again, and this had driven me to a lower and darker place every time.

So, today i don't have any illusions, i know i don't have the will power just by myself, and i need to work with the proper mental tools that will allow me to have the strenght to put this behind my back FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. No more fooling around this time, i already know that if i just slip one time, that most certainly would lead me to a full addict state once again. I think what got me to this state, was the fact that i was fighting a battle with my rational side, and has i see it now, addiction works on the subconscious. We already know how bad it is, but there's a voice inside that keep pulling us back.

My dear friends, bluelighters, in my humble ways, i come to you begging for a hand to reach me, and every single tip you have that you think it could be helpful to help me to stop this nightmare FOREVER.

Today (i hope) i used the last bag of my H consumption. I bought a subtex, and i intend to use only one to help me with the intense withdrawal period. I just wish that i could manage this first phase, to be ready to fight the second one, a life without opioids. I'm already expecting the numb state i will be in, no willpower to do anything, life without meaning; but i know one day it will pass, and that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

May the force be with all of you!

Life is to damn beautiful to be wasted on this crap.

Love and light to every sentient being in the Universe

YOU DON'T FOOL ME!

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Stay strong. Is this your first time on Subutex?

 

[Lone Deranger]

No, i already took it a few times.. My plan is too take 2mg when the withdrawal symptoms starts to be unbarable, and then i will take 1mg when i need it.. i think one pill of 8mg would help me 6 to 7 days, then i am on my own..

 

[Lone Deranger]

Thank you for your reply Captain Heroin. If you have any tips or words of wisdom to help me get by, please share it if you will.

Sorry for everyone reading, i know my english is not perfect, so it may have a few bad apples (words), but overall i think you guys can understand me.

 

[P.o.T.u.S]

U sound like you are getting sober for the right reason..yourself!!..i wish u the best of luck!! %) I wish i had some tips but my opinion it comes down to will power..only u can do it

 

[ThePharmacist4925]

You can do this, I'm sure of it, I detoxed myself off opiates a few years back with only a quick taper down from X number of OC 80's a day to 2 a day then one a day to no opiates. And then I used alcohol to numb me as much as possible through the final part of withdrawal. I remember hanging from the handle on my SUV's door my knees almost in the mud throwing up on my car door and feeling completely defeated. But I forced myself through that and didn't call any of my dealers. If I could do it, you can definitely do it. It's okay to use "supplies" to help you during your detox, honestly I think substances that'll make the experience more bearable give you a better chance at success. So do what you have to to win the war. I've always found medications that lower your blood pressure to be helpful during detox, if you can acquire klonidine, propranolol, Tenex, or Intuniv I'd do that. If you acquire any of these be careful as lowering your blood pressure too much is just as bad as it being too high. Carefully dosed gabapentin would also probably help, 300mg every 45 or so mins for 4 or 5 hours would be good for detox. This all being said I'm not a doctor and you should take my advice with a grain of salt, but I hope you find a way to blunt the discomfort during this process, Best of Luck