The holiday support thread v you're not alone

[Crampz]

Family & Xmas

I hate this time of year. I have to see my family and from what I hear they all think I'm a good for nothing drug addict. I don't think I can face them, I really hate the idea of having to spend time with them.

What do I do?

 

[Maya]

^ hi crampz, where do you hear these things about you being a loser? Maybe you shouldn't believe it right away unless you have spoken to them right? Family will always be family and it won't be perfect but I do hope that you give it a chance this time of year.

 

[Crampz]

Some of them have told me to my face. Some things come back to me from other people but the things they talk about must have been passed on because some contain elements of truth that would be impossible to know unless i was being 'discussed'.

 

[T. Calderone]

I had certain family members that would talk shit about me too. Sure did make the family get togethers awkward for me. I would go see them so they could visit with my son but eventually they moved away. I felt relieved and if they wanted to see us, I let them know they could visit me. I think in six years I got 2 visits.

What you can try to do is prove them wrong by living better. Either way you have to find a way to get through these family gatherings. They might be holding something against you that happened a long time ago. Hope you can have a good time despite the hurt.

 

[DOB]

i so feel for u,i have it same

my advice try to avoid family as much as possible,just becose u have few common dna parts doesnt mean u should tolerate bunch of assholes

 

[neversickanymore]

I am sorry you have to deal with this. The reason people put other people down is to make themselves feel superior. If these people are choosing to put you down they must have low self esteem. Being a drug addict in no way shape of form makes you a loser. Here is a thread full of addicts and users.. Some amazing people in here.. take a gander through this thread and check out some of these amazing people. it is in DC so it may be triggering. Who is your favorite drug addict(s) and/or user(s) of all time? I think the best way to deal with this would be for you to realize that you're not a loser and that the negative opinions of these people are just their bullshit.. so In other words if you can get to a point where these peoples shit ideas and negative opinions dont bother you any more.. I used to care what other people thought and it caused me to have social anxiety which drove my use and made me miserable. Once I identified MY morals and MY values what other people thought no longer mattered at all. By MY morals I just meant identified how it was important for me to act.. and by MY values what was important to me. So now that a have done this I could give flying reindeer what other people think.. especially people who choose to degrade addicts.

 

[ad lib]

bump

 

[Lustmord]

Send some love my way!

Darkness has always been around as far as I'm concerned, but the holidays start to suck something extra.

 

[Maya]

^yep sad but true. Like what tc said I also have relatives who have gossipped about me and put me down. I actually didn't care much because my family always had my back.

Im sorry that you have to feel this pain hun if they can't be a family for you then perhaps there are other friends you consider more of a family? As sad as it seems, sometimes friends are much better than your own blood.

 

[nuttynutskin]

Not to double post, but as I posted in the rant/vent section I'm pretty much through with a certain immediate family member I live with. We haven't been talking for 4 days or so and I don't intend on that changing.

This was the final email I sent them...

Whatever, I'm through with your negativity. I don't care if you want to be miserable for the rest of your life but just leave me out of it. I'm no angel and make mistakes but I'm not going to sit here and believe everything is all my fault. You don't love me, you don't even fucking know me. As far as I'm concerned any pathetic excuse of a relationship we've ever had is over with. Have a nice life.

On a better note if anyone here needs anyone to talk to I'm down. I'm on both yahoo and skype as well.

 

[Eveleivibe]

That's lovely of you, nutty. Going through stuff yourself n still have time n compassion to think of others.

 

[spork]

Has anyone thought about volunteering at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter for the holidays? It's a good way to reach out, pass the time, and feel good about yourself as well.

 

[Eveleivibe]

I'm going to wrap presents for the homeless, they said my little girl can come along. Interesting point you made there, Sport. It could be a good idea for people who are feeling lonely n it will help ppl see how lucky they are too xxx

 

[Mysterie]

Has anyone thought about volunteering at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter for the holidays? It's a good way to reach out, pass the time, and feel good about yourself as well.

i like the idea of doing something like this

at the moment its a heatwave in my city, i have no gf, hardly any friends, and everyone is dressing like they are trying to get a cover on playboy, it makes it much harder to stay master of my domain

at least i thought of a good idea for a gift for my sister for xmas, hopefully she likes it

 

[Eveleivibe]

A heatwave?????? Are you in Australia?

 

[Crampz]

^ well, it is super awkward because most people in my family have really successful careers apart from me. I don't think they will ever stop thinking of me as the druggie/drop out loser. Plus I don't actually do anything, not really. So going out for meals with them and not drinking while they all talk about how great their lives are and all I have to say is 'yeah, this week I watched tv in bed' is just pathetic .

 

[Maya]

^op I'm not sure how old you are but do you think you can get a career or go back to school? I don't think its ever too late for anything.

I also envy my other cousins who are very successful and I tend to compare myself. This is one of my frustrations but I realized that I'm different but tbat doesn't mean I can't be successful in my own ways. I do have a career atm and its different from wbat my cousins ha e and I'm still goin up

 

[Crampz]

Im 28, too old for this situation tbh. I have no idea what the hell happened to my 20's, they just sort of vanished in a alcoholic blur.

 

[Eveleivibe]

Crampz sorry this happened to you. Do they know how hard that you are working to change your ways? As someone said give it a chance you may be pleasantly surprised.

Evey xxxx

 

[Maya]

Hun thats still young, I'm actually in my late twenties and am goin to take courses by spring nxt yr. If you are willing to study and have a career you can do it by working hard for it.