I hate my crazy, loud-ass, tweaker neighbor, I hate this shitty little apartment with it's paper-thin walls and shared balcony, I hate buprenorphine, I hate drugs, I just want to be in a normal state again where the only thing I needed to get out of bed in the morning was a shower and a cup of coffee or three, where I had friends and money and something to look forward to...
My boyfriend is the only thing in my life that makes me happy right now... I love him to death, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I can't even express it. If it weren't for him, I'd still be waking up every morning in a very dark and sick place... I'll never stop being an addict at heart, but at least for now the devil is kept at bay...
Speaking of which, I've gone 36 hours without any bupe, and I'm starting to hurt already... For what? Nine lortab 10's, that I bought on a stupid whim, simply because they were there... One and a half fucking highs... Relatively shitty highs, at that. So stupid, I feel idiotic and guilty for it, but I need a break from my fucking back pain... Bupe is the shittiest "painkiller" I've ever taken, just for the record. Does nothing for it...
Oh well. Bitching session over...
My boyfriend is the only thing in my life that makes me happy right now... I love him to death, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I can't even express it. If it weren't for him, I'd still be waking up every morning in a very dark and sick place... I'll never stop being an addict at heart, but at least for now the devil is kept at bay...
Speaking of which, I've gone 36 hours without any bupe, and I'm starting to hurt already... For what? Nine lortab 10's, that I bought on a stupid whim, simply because they were there... One and a half fucking highs... Relatively shitty highs, at that. So stupid, I feel idiotic and guilty for it, but I need a break from my fucking back pain... Bupe is the shittiest "painkiller" I've ever taken, just for the record. Does nothing for it...
Oh well. Bitching session over...
Even with all the shit addicts deal with, having someone you love and who loves you makes us stronger.
