I have never been much of a drinker. Alcohol was never my thing - always in combination with something, as a social lubricant or rarely as a last resort.
However most Irish people go nuts for ethanol. It is important to remember that it is a drink and not a drug, and therefore acceptable to the point of television adverts and pikeys passing out in the streets covered in their own vomit and stinking of piss.
There is one day of the year where alcohol is forbidden to be sold in either pub or off-licence. Something to do with Catholic guilt and the holy mortifying shame of it all.
The Good Friday Agreement was a direct negotiation between the Irish Government and Jesus Christ. The Pope at the time kindly made his special telephone available for this purpose.
Jesus said something along the lines of (don't quote me on this) "Thou shalt not buy, sell or consume alcoholic beverages on this day or I shall smite you down, for I was nailed to a cross for three days and all I had to drink was poxy vinegar".
Now to most people it is merely an inconvenience to have to buy their drinks the day before. The forgetful and the lazy get sorted too. Where there is a will there is a way.
But here ye, hear ye, all you devout Catholics of upstanding faith take notice how Jesus never specified his stance on the use of narcotics over the Good Friday period. Here is the loophole for the faithful. Load up on xanax and cocaine today for tomorrow you can drink again, you decrepit alcoholic bastards!
However most Irish people go nuts for ethanol. It is important to remember that it is a drink and not a drug, and therefore acceptable to the point of television adverts and pikeys passing out in the streets covered in their own vomit and stinking of piss.
There is one day of the year where alcohol is forbidden to be sold in either pub or off-licence. Something to do with Catholic guilt and the holy mortifying shame of it all.
The Good Friday Agreement was a direct negotiation between the Irish Government and Jesus Christ. The Pope at the time kindly made his special telephone available for this purpose.
Jesus said something along the lines of (don't quote me on this) "Thou shalt not buy, sell or consume alcoholic beverages on this day or I shall smite you down, for I was nailed to a cross for three days and all I had to drink was poxy vinegar".
Now to most people it is merely an inconvenience to have to buy their drinks the day before. The forgetful and the lazy get sorted too. Where there is a will there is a way.
But here ye, hear ye, all you devout Catholics of upstanding faith take notice how Jesus never specified his stance on the use of narcotics over the Good Friday period. Here is the loophole for the faithful. Load up on xanax and cocaine today for tomorrow you can drink again, you decrepit alcoholic bastards!
