THE funniest thing I've ever read on Bluelight

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Skydancer's "My firsy time with a shemale" story always makes me lol. =D

T-M I'd forgotten about your pills down the toilet report. On reflection if I were in your situation I'd definitely brave the stools as well. At least it was your own shit =D
 
Pictures in my minds, psychosematic illusionary feelings which in themselves are completly empty, something I'd couldn't do.

Getting oujaed at the moment, sorting me out. Will have to face the shrink tomorrow or be sectioned, and they've asked me to leave Brighton because of all the ghosts which won't leave me alone :/ Will take about three weeks until I'm together again, according to a friend, who knows where it will go from there?

Am I that strange though, in people's minds, not back then but now? I've said this out load already and I'm hoping the all seeing eye got it. If they put me on medication again I will continue to babble shit, which could be disaterous for random people.

Rob.
 
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You know what really sucks about rape?

Some of my friends have been through it so I have to be really careful about joking around with it/offering them rape fantasy roleplay.
 
duck_racer said:
Skydancer's "My firsy time with a shemale" story always makes me lol. =D

T-M I'd forgotten about your pills down the toilet report. On reflection if I were in your situation I'd definitely brave the stools as well. At least it was your own shit =D



Jen needs to post the muff girl convo in this thread.
 
Medi57 said:
You know what really sucks about rape?

Some of my friends have been through it so I have to be really careful about joking around with it/offering them rape fantasy roleplay.
lol! If I knew someone who'd been raped I'm afraid I'd just have to excommunicate them, I simply cannot go a day without sniggering at forceful sex. My old school friend is a rapist too, he's in jail right this moment *claim to fame*
 
Karaboudjan said:
lol! If I knew someone who'd been raped I'm afraid I'd just have to excommunicate them, I simply cannot go a day without sniggering at forceful sex. My old school friend is a rapist too, he's in jail right this moment *claim to fame*

That reminds me of one of our mates who's gran had just died about a week before and we were walking past an abandoned building and one of the guys said " haha craig that's where we tied up your gran and raped her".
Just a slip of the tongue but it was very akward for about an hour afterwards %)
 
There's a lot to write about a lot of replies here, I'm sure most of you have thought about them more than I am going to write, but yeahh.....

yeah....
 
Some of my friends have been through it so I have to be really careful about joking around with it/offering them rape fantasy roleplay.

So have a couple of gfs/ex-gfs of mine. I find joking about all the most horrible things in life disspells their power of terror over us. Kara I don't go a day either without joking about aids, rape, gays, cancer, torture, war, napalm & a personal favorite, landmines.
 
Medi57 said:
Jen needs to post the muff girl convo in this thread.

Was this the one? (edit I probably should explain that last year my housemate shagged a girl {pringle's housemate in birmingham, in fact} who, it turned out, had the biggest muff in the world. I'd love to post a picture but it's probably not a godo idea =D)


Enough! says:
what the computer or the muff?
Andy says:
the computer didnt like the muff
Enough! says:
i love that muff
Alex says:
i can't imagine anynody likes the muff to be honest
Andy says:
for some reason our router crashes if i accept pics through messenger
Alex says:
exceot dan, obviously
Enough! says:
def!
Andy says:
email it to me instead!
Andy says:
did u see that old muff pic, very wrong!
Enough! says:
thats gonna shut gmails routers down now
Andy says:

Alex says:
send me the muff
Andy says:
jesus christ!!!!!!!!
Alex says:
need a good screensaver for uni
Enough! says:

Andy says:
did u go down on her?
Enough! says:
as if
Andy says:
thank god
Enough! says:
i wouldnt know where to start
Andy says:
with scissors
Alex says:
lol
Enough! says:

Andy says:
or some garden shears
Enough! says:
a lighter would probably do the trick
Andy says:
would stink tho
Alex says:
put some imaac on her when she's asleep
Andy says:
lol
Enough! says:
i dont plan to sleep with her again!!
Andy says:
industrial strength
Enough! says:
although you never know. just for the craic
Alex says:
nobody plans to sleep with anybody again, that doesn't mean it wont happen
Andy says:
need close ups!
Enough! says:
what with her holding those hairy flaps apart!
Andy says:
mmmmmm
Alex says:
wrong
Andy says:
did u get friction burns on your stomach?
Alex says:
i'd be more worried about static buildup
Andy says:


Andy just sent you a Nudge!

Alex says:
she's got enough potential in that muff to electrocute your bellend
Andy says:

Enough! says:
you boys
Andy says:
i reckon you could stick her to a velcro wall with that muff
Enough! says:
yeah, then rip her off real fast
Andy says:
lol
Enough! says:
finding it ticky to find a good picture of daffyd
Andy says:
why>?
Enough! says:
need a good sized one, that looks funny. someone is going to put chris's head on, like the giraffe you did. and then they might find themselves plastered around norwich union
Enough! says:
so im told
Alex says:

Alex says:
I'm the only gay at norwich union
Alex says:
got to be done really
Enough! says:
quite
Andy says:
i see
Andy says:
i thought u meant a pic of daffy duck!
Andy says:
think we should start a website, massivebendersandhugemuffs.com
Enough! says:
i already have massivemuffs.com
Enough! says:
i love the big muffs
Andy says:
lol
Enough! says:
bigbendersandmassivemuffs.com
Andy says:
yeah thats better
Alex says:
massivemuffs does exist as well haha
Enough! says:
yeah a search page
Andy says:
bigbendersandMASSIVEMASSIVEMASSIVEmuffs.com
Alex says:
bigbarrowesquebendersandmassivemingingmuffs.com
Enough! says:
hothairyhatches.com
Enough! says:
oh dear
Alex says:
fabulousfurryflanges.com
Andy says:
http://www.holio.net/muff.html
Alex says:
not strictly worksafe^
Andy says:
true!
Andy says:
i cant find a muff as massive as jen's mates tho
Enough! says:
its fucking crazy
Enough! says:
hairy*
Alex says:
crazymuffs.com
Alex says:
i was saying to andy before dan, when she next comes up it's going to be VERY hard not to say anything
Alex says:
going to have to be subtle
Alex says:
so shouting "MASSIVE HAIRY MUFF" in her face will have to be out
Enough! says:

Andy says:
where's your razor gone
Enough! says:
i actually asked her if she hadnt considered a brazillian
Alex says:
"shave in a minute, you're gonna sahve in a minute, shave in a miiiiinute, you're gonna shave in a minute"
Enough! says:
im finding it difficult to find any porn with bigger muff than that, maybe she could go into the hairporn business!!
Alex says:
yeah definitely
Enough! says:
yuk
Alex says:
she can't go into any kind of porn where they concentrate on the face..
Enough! says:

Alex says:

Andy says:
shed win hands down at the hairy muff contest
Alex says:
when is the next contest? lets enter her
Enough! says:
alex, if i look hard enough i could find pubes in my bed, maybe i could hide them in your room!
Enough! says:
shed win hands down
Enough! says:
or muffs down, however u look at it
Alex says:
hahaha
Andy says:
if you turned her upside down and took a close up you might be forgiven for mistaking her muff for a dachshund
Enough! says:
if only she knew what a great source of entertainment shes being
Alex says:
to be fair if she agreed to be photographed she KNEW you would show your mates
Enough! says:
she was spannered but i guess so!
Alex says:
hahahahaha at andy
Enough! says:
yeah that made me laugh too
Alex says:
i'm trying to set up a collaboration with this lab in the states: http://www.cas.vanderbilt.edu/pattonlab/pattonlab.html hopefully I will get to work with the fittie on the left
Andy says:
yeah, rule no3 dont let a bloke take pics of you on a one night stand, especially if you've got an enormous muff
Alex says:
and not the munter in the middle
Alex says:
to be fair she might have failed rule no.2 as well. It's borderline
Andy says:
you never know what her muff might look like
Enough! says:
reckon that munter has a massive muff?
Andy says:
doubt its seen the light of day in a while
Andy says:
yeah
Enough! says:

Alex says:
it'd be impossible for it to ever get light. her thighs are like fucking oak trees
Andy says:
lol
Alex says:
just really soft, fatty oak trees
Alex says:
to be fair 'd prefer to poke an oak tree rather than her
Enough! says:
her name is Elizabeth THATCHer too... bit of thatchwork down there
Andy says:
that guys beard looks quite like the muff
Alex says:
especially if the oak tree had a massive muff
Andy says:
this conversation is making me crease up
Enough! says:
grease*
Andy says:
yeah, all this talk of giant muffs
Andy says:

Enough! says:
hey at least it wasnt ginger
Andy says:
true
Enough! says:
massive ginger muff would be 1 better on the scale of massivemuffs
Andy says:
no1
Alex says:
massive albino oriental ginger muffs
Enough! says:

Andy says:
i dunno tho, the fact its black makes it more prominent
Andy says:
esp as shes very white
Enough! says:
i reckon nikki shariat could have a massive muff and hairy pits
Alex says:
http://www.dvo.com/newsletter/monthly/2004/october/cookiecrumbs.html scan down the list of names on this site..
Enough! says:

Andy says:
Dan Muff, no way!
Enough! says:
and excellent scone recipe
Alex says:
she could paint a stripe down the middle of her muff and use it as a lure to get badgers away from the road
Enough! says:
like having a piece of cake, nice and moist, not the least bit dried out. I hope you try it and enjoy it.”
Andy says:
“This is an excellent muff recipe and I think it's exactly what you're looking for, it's almost like having a piece of cake, nice and moist, not the least bit dried out. I hope you try it and enjoy it.”

Enough! says:
jesus
Andy says:
lol alex
Alex says:
lol
Alex says:
got to stop laughing people are looking at me
Alex says:
brb
Enough! says:

Andy says:
i cant stop laughing at the mo
Enough! says:
me neither
Andy says:
that badger one was quality
Enough! says:

Andy says:
just searched for big black muff on google images
Andy says:
not nice
Andy says:
found a rivalling muff, but the site had lots of gay porn and chicks with dicks, could have done without that!!
Andy says:
her muff brings new meaning to 'stroking the pussy'
Enough! says:
yes i think i found that site too
Enough! says:

Alex says:
her muff brings new meaning to 'stroking the pussy' " hahaha

Alex says:
http://www.livenirvana.com/digitalnirvana/bootography/reviewb111.html?filename=supercolossal
Alex says:
no way^^
Andy says:

Andy says:
scoff the supercolossal big muff
Alex says:
.com
Enough! says:
she kept going on about this dude shes hung up on or something, and keeps going to bristol or something to fuck him. question that begs is, who is this dude and does he need his head read? or does he just have a kink for hairy flange, that would explain why he goes back for more. furthermore, is he eating that flange?
Enough! says:
very odd
Andy says:
he needs help
Alex says:
I would say if she's gonig back for more he is definitely eating her flange. It muse be rare for her to find somebody who would..
Enough! says:

Andy says:
either he digs the hair or hes never had anything else
Alex says:
he's gonig to have to dig the hair to reach her gash
Enough! says:
literally, digs through the hair
Andy says:
maybe he likes to run his fingers through it
Alex says:
with a comb?
Andy says:
keeps his hands and nose warm
Alex says:
combing the flange
Enough! says:
lets post some immac
Andy says:
lol
Andy says:
post her a hedge trimmer
Enough! says:
sign her up to free trials of razors and hair removal products
Alex says:
i dont think a razor would do the trick
Alex says:
you'd need to start with a machete
Andy says:
no chance
Alex says:
or pretrol strimmer
Andy says:
diamond cut edges or not, its a jungle out there
Enough! says:
petrol strimmer might make a nasty mess
Alex says:
hedge trimmer haha
Enough! says:
just burn it. deforestation, thats how they do it isnt it. slash and burn i believe its called
Andy says:
if you did go down on her you have to chew your way through the bush
Andy says:

Andy says:
slash and burn. love it
Enough! says:

Enough! says:
im enjoying that too
Alex says:
this looks ideal: http://www.crocus.co.uk/graphics/products2/PR/20/00/00/46/PR2000004694_card.jpg
Andy says:
did her bush tickle your balls?!
Alex says:
lol
Andy says:
email her that
Andy says:
looks like its electric, pretrol would be better
Andy says:
do u reckon if she got run over by a steam roller her bush would spring back up afterwards?
Andy says:
muff protection system
Enough! says:
mps
Enough! says:
na if a steam roller approaches the muff engulfs her
Andy says:

Andy says:
it engulfs the steam roller
Enough! says:
kind of like a hedgehog
Andy says:
god knows what else shes got in there
Enough! says:
creatures oh my god
Enough! says:
i could have anything
Enough! says:
best get to the ball clinic
Andy says:
crabs the size of your hand
Alex says:
if she got a topiary expert in she could do something really special with that bush..http://www.mountlehmanllamas.com/topiary-llama.jpg just need some support struts
Andy says:
ring up the gum clinic, help ive been attacked by a giant muff
Enough! says:

Andy says:
like the ones in vietnam
Alex says:
you'd need GPS for the rescue team to pinpoint your location in that muff
Andy says:
gps to get you out the mps
Andy says:
gum - giant unidentified muff clinic
Alex says:
right got a meeting. laters dudes
Alex says:
see you in a muff
Andy says:
laters
Enough! says:
laters muff
Andy says:
ive gotta get some lunch
 
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