Sorry crankinit, I had to write a novel to explain, it's the alcohol that made me do it, so don't hold that against me. I do think everything is relevant to your question though. If not, tell me to shut the fuck up (either publically or via PM) and I will gladly do so in the future.
I don't live in the city. There's only three pharmacists in my dosing chemist that are capable of dispensing methadone and it seems only one of them is working at any moment of the day. With the exception of one of these pharmacists whom I (think at least) have a very good realtionship with and greatly respect (it's like he has a brain, emotions and actually acts like a human being!), those of us on an opiod maintenance programs are treated as lesser class citizens, less than human and are only attended to after everyone else in the whole pharmacy has been taken care of, regardless of how long we have been waiting there.
I have a story which may help you understand where I'm coming from after I first started on the methadone program. Being dosed in a timely manner at this stage really mattered to me as I was not yet adjusted to the switch from heroin to methadone. One other thing which I think is relevant to the story is the fact that living in a remote area, there are no doctors close to me (within 250kms according to DirectLine) who are (were at the time I needed to get on a program) willing to take on any new methadone patients. The closest doctor who can provide me a script for methadone is 3 1/12 - 4 hours away by car, and I have to visit this doctor every week to get a new script. I'm pretty broke thanks to my previous heroin habit which took every asset/savings/lines of credit/personal loans etc. so that makes it a little difficult to find another $100 for petrol each week. Anyway.
The story:
I had gone from using over a gram of good heroin a day to needing to get on methadone for financial, health and obvious personal reasons. After waiting weeks to find a Dr, (DirectLine are brilliant, thank you) then getting an appointment with a dr and finally getting a script from a dr, I thought thank fuck. My life is looking like improving, at least I'm heading in the right direction.
The first day I dose, it's all good. The pharmacist was nice, told me that the pharmacy opens at 8:30am but not to come in until 9:00am because none of the pharmacists who can dose me are there until 9:00am. On the 2nd day I was on the methadone program, on a dose that was not even close to holding me from my previous heroin habit, because of laws and regulations or some shit about starting on 40mg and then raising the dose until the patient is comfortable, I stumbled into the chemist at 9:10am (as I was told not to come before 9am) in absolute agony. Dripping in sweat, shaking, looking like absolute shite and basically in full withdrawal. After waiting for 15-20 in this state in the "dosing room" (which is visible to any other person in the pharmacy who needs to get a prescription filled) while assistants continually walked passed me, obviously noticing my discomfort. If not my discomfort, at least my smell for fuck sake, I heard one of the pharmacists who could have dosed me tell an assistant, not tell me himself, but he told a young 20 year old attractive assistant of his to come over and tell me to come back in an hour or so because they were too busy right now to dose me. There were about 3 people waiting for scripts, this is the presciption end of the pharmacy where the prescriptions get filled and the maintenance patients get dosed. It was obvious I was in agony, it was my 2nd day on the program at a dose that was not even close to being enough to hold me. It took 80mg to make me feel not sick, and this was the second day of 40mg.
That has been my worst experience, and I must say, when I was asked to come back in an hour, it was the first time in my life I wanted to make a scene in any kind of store. I couldn't believe it. I went and scored instead, that's how the system helps people who are trying to get clean.
That has not been the only time I've had to wait over 30 minutes for a dose, but that was certainly the worst time I'd had to wait over 30 minutes for a dose. My first week on the Methadone program was hell, and I probably should have just gone through withdrawal. It would have been worse, but I wouldn't be stuck with these liquid handcuffs for fuck knows how long, and if I ever could afford heroin, at least I know it would turn my fucked up life with the simple act of pushing down a plunger into a life that is bearable.
These days, I usually get dosed within 15 -30 minutes, however today was another example of a 45 minute wait, and that fucked up my plans for the day and made my brother miss an appointment because I was giving him a lift. Ironically, this was the same old fat cunt of a pharmacist as the story mentioned above when I was sick on the second day of the methadone program. Today, he seemed to be doing absolutely nothing at all, looking at a computer screen, writing a few things down, casually walking from room to room. There were hardly any clients waiting for scripts, absolutely nobody came in with new ones whilst I was there. Surely he could have taken 2 minutes from his obviously over worked, stressed out and hectic day to serve a customer? I'm sure he would have, if it wasn't a hopeless, degenerate member of society like me.
I believe there are people in this world, more than I'd like to think, who treat people who have had an addiction in the past and are trying to overcome their problem as best they can, with unnecessary prejudice. It may be a long and slow process to beat drug addiction, but fixing a lifetime of mental trauma is no easy feat either. Often they go hand in hand. Would most people on this earth abandon a child who'd been sexually assaulted? What about a father who had lost his partner and two children in a car crash?
People don't end up addicted to drugs like heroin with the intention of fucking up their, and everybody elses lives on purpose, or for the fun of it. There is usually a pretty damn good reason, and even if there isn't, it's a fucking traumatic experience in itself to deserve some compassion and understanding when people are trying to get through it. I don't think the best way to help rehabilitate them is by demeaning them, treating them with contempt and simply ignoring them and hoping they'll just go away.
Fuck I've talked a lot of shit. Sorry about that. I'll try to stop my fingers in the future, but I can't promise anything, they've been drinking.
If I start off the day getting high the rest of the day is usually a write off as far as getting anything productive done goes.
