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the final hours. (goodbye)

S

Shuddr2Think

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 24, 2000
Messages
1,049
its hard to say
how i feel right now.
kinda numb in the same way
i was when you weren't leaving
but more intense.
my heart keeps pounding
stomach wrenching, and tear inducing
i am nothing if not the fear of losing you forever.
i don't like the concept
of waking up
and you not being around.
i don't like the notion
of you not being
a daily dose of
whatever i need.
i feel discombobulated
like someone is slowly removing a limb
and you are slowly fading out
of my life
one box at a time.
the thought of not seeing you
for a whole week
is enough in itself to
make me falter
and the fact remains
that i already miss you
before the final box is packed
and i have missed you for months already
its just starting to be a little too real now.
 
Jesus.... :(
I really have nothing to say except that this is exactly the position I'm in at the moment. Thank you for writing the words because it seems every time I try and write lately I just draw a big fat blank.
I cried and cried and cried.
 
I wish I had something to say that would lift you up a little but... well I can't seem to come to anything. I have felt this before, and its all too familiar, hang in there because regaurdless of what it seems or what people say there truly is an upside to each and every down...
it was wonderful writing
 
i missed this the first time around.... its beautiful and honest. and feels so close to home.
 
Keep your head up. I know that it is terrible. My boyfriend is in prison and I see him once a month. I miss him so much, but I know we are supposed to be together and that we have the rest of our lives for that. Sometimes life throws us obstacles and it is up to us to do our best to overcome them. I know that if we can last through this seperation period that we can make it through anything. So show this obstacle who's boss!! Good Luck!!
 
^^^^ thanx sweety :)
24.gif



its hard to say
how i feel right now.
kinda numb in the same way
i was when you weren't leaving
but more intense.
my heart keeps pounding
stomach wrenching, and tear inducing
Click to expand...

i don't like the concept
of waking up
and you not being around.
i don't like the notion
of you not being
a daily dose of
whatever i need.
Click to expand...

and the fact remains
that i already miss you
before the final box is packed
and i have missed you for months already
its just starting to be a little too real now.
Click to expand...

theres just something that draws me back to this peice everytime i see it. i relate so well to it right now and its an oldie but its such a goodie. its full of such emotion and heart ache. it makes me get that lump in my throat just reading it.

*sighs*
 
Okay so I have already responded twice to this poem before [under Queen Beat] but I want to again...

Shuddr2think always gets to me. I don't know what it is but her writing swirls around in my mind and gets under my skin and I know... I just know what she's going through [often cos I've been there too]. This is one writer who I wish would start posting en masse again.
 
and you are slowly fading out
of my life
one box at a time.
Click to expand...
That's the saddest part. When you can physcially WATCH them fading out of your life, gradually.

If justin would have left all at once, I think I would have been able to handle it better. But there was no definitive end. No goodbye. There was him, leaving little by little, one item at a time. For a little longer each time. I noticed the clothes going first. Then the records. The everything. And when there was nothing left to take, he took away the love that was there. Took away all the emotions. All the hope.

And every now and then, i would find something he forgot. And it would tear me up all over again.


and the fact remains
that i already miss you
before the final box is packed
and i have missed you for months already
Click to expand...
The heart doesnt want to accept it, when the love is gone. Sometimes it takes watching everything physical disappear, until you can really grasp it. But that last box is always the hardest. You can't help but watch from the window.
 
up all night said:
Okay so I have already responded twice to this poem before [under Queen Beat] but I want to again...

Shuddr2think always gets to me. I don't know what it is but her writing swirls around in my mind and gets under my skin and I know... I just know what she's going through [often cos I've been there too]. This is one writer who I wish would start posting en masse again.
Click to expand...



thank you.

i miss this place a lot.
 
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